Title: Tired
Author: Tina
Disclaimer: Still don't own them so don't sue.
Spoilers: Lady Heather's Box and everything before
that
Author's Note: I have seen other authors do it so now
I am trying it myself. I have a writer's block on
Gratia Plena so I allowed myself to write this
instead. It sort of just came to me I don't know why.
It's Catherine's POV, in case you don't understand
that. It might be out of character but I'm not
objective enough to say if it is or if it isn't.
Please tell me if you think she is or isn't.
Man she was tired. Tired of all the lies, tired of all
the sorrows that life had thrown her way. But it would
all change. She had decided it would change. Thus it
would.
'Ha,' she laughed bitterly at that.
It wasn't as if though anybody could hear her though.
She was alone. She had been for a long time and by the
looks of things she would continue to be alone.
There was nothing wrong with that. She enjoyed being
alone. Sitting alone, standing alone. The only part of
alone that she didn't like was sleeping alone. She had
decided that that would change too.
'I just have to find someone that is willing to share
my bed,' she said to no one in particular.
Couldn't be that hard, she decided. All over Vegas you
could find a man who wouldn't mind sharing a bed with
a beautiful woman.
However she was only interested in sharing her bed
with one man and he didn't even know it. The worst
part was that she didn't know how to tell him and even
if she managed to she was afraid that he would decline
her offer.
All over Vegas there were men who would love to share
her bed with her so why was it that the only one she
wanted might not want to.
'Life and its ironies,' she mused.
Okay, she admitted to herself. She wasn't alone all
the time. She had her job and she had her daughter.
But tonight her daughter was with her sister and she
had been given the night off. She didn't understand
why but she had decided that it was better not to
argue.
She was more than aware of the fact that if she would
start to argue with him about him giving her the night
off it would soon turn into something else. She would
steer the argument to what she really wanted to
discuss with him.his sudden coldness towards her.
She missed him. She missed him a lot.
She missed him even more now after Eddie was gone.
She knew something was wrong. She had suspected that
something was wrong ever since the Haviland case.
Sometimes late at night she would remember the scene
that had unfolded in front of her and everyone else in
that courtroom.
She had seen him struggle. He had asked the DA to
repeat the question three times before he had answered
it. It had been as if though he hadn't heard her.
She had started to ponder that part. "As if he hadn't
heard".
She had started to remember everything he had told her
about his mother. That she was deaf, how she had been
deaf through most of his childhood.
She hadn't been born deaf. But she couldn't remember
what had made her deaf. She couldn't remember if he
had ever told her what it was that had made his mother
go deaf.
Then she had started to think that that was happening
to him. He was going deaf.
It was then only logical to assume that it was
genetic. Hereditary, that he had gotten it from his
mother.
After that she had gotten a lot of complaints from the
others. Nicky had said that it seemed as if he
wouldn't listen. He had started to walk away from
cases. That's when she knew. He was going deaf from a
hereditary disease. She was sure then. Every shred of
evidence pointed to that. She just didn't know which
disease it could be.
He hadn't told her. He hadn't said anything about his
impending deafness about his momentary loss of hearing
and to this day he had never mentioned it. There was
one time when she thought that he would approach the
subject. But apparently he had changed his mind.
Now she was waiting. Waiting for him to take the first
step. She wanted him to tell her about the disease,
she wanted him to invite her into his life by sharing
that important piece of information.
She wanted him in her life and she wanted to be in
his.
She had once told him that he had no personal stuff.
It had been a heated argument and she had felt the
tension between them. It hadn't been like the tension
that would develop when she and Eddie fought. No this
had been a different tension, more along the lines of
sexual tension. It had continued throughout the case.
It hadn't even stopped after their truce and when he
had lifted her out of the boat she had felt it
stronger than before.
His hands on her waist, one on each side of it, she
had felt his touch through her shirt. Okay so maybe
her shirt hadn't been too thick but still. His touch
had sent shivers through her body. But she had hid it
from him. Instead she had concentrated on glaring at
him as he had told her that he should question the
boyfriend and the husband.
However now she could confess that deep down inside
she knew that she had wanted to be that personal stuff
she still wanted to be his personal stuff.
But how to make him see that, this she did not know,
there were a lot of things she didn't know but this
was the thing that bothered her the most.
She felt how her thoughts began to make no sense and
how she wasn't able to keep them apart. Instead they
were jumbled up inside of her head.
That's when she decided that she needed to sleep. She
quickly undressed and put on a pair of mini shorts and
one of his old shirts.
He had forgot it there one day when he and the others
had been over.
They had decided to have breakfast together but since
Lindsay wasn't feeling well that day they had come
over instead. Then Lindsay had called for her but
since she was in the kitchen preparing the food she
hadn't heard her.
Apparently he had gone there to see what she wanted
and she had thrown up all over his shirt. That was at
least what Warrick, Nick and Sara had told her.
Lindsay had told her how he had helped her to the
bathroom and sat by her side, holding back her hair as
she had emptied her stomach content in the toilet. He
had then wiped her mouth and helped her back to her
bed and tucked her in.
She had been very surprised when he had come in to the
kitchen sporting a bare chest. She had actually been
so surprised that she had almost poured milk on Nicky
instead of pouring it in his glass.
Whether he had noticed this or not she didn't know.
All he had done was hold out the shirt to her and
explain that he needed to borrow a T-shirt or
something. She had asked why and he had explained that
Lindsay had left her mark on the shirt. At first she
hadn't understood but soon it dawned on her.
By then she had put away the bottle of milk, something
that Nick had been very grateful for. Warrick had also
been grateful since he had been the next one to get
milk preferably in his glass.
She had just taken the shirt and soaked it in a
water-filled sink. Then she had given him an old
T-shirt that Eddie had left behind.
When they had gone home she had washed it but for some
reason she had never given it back to him. She briefly
wondered if he missed it, she wondered if he knew who
had it. She doubted that.
She enjoyed the feel of the fabric against her skin
and even though the detergent had taken away his smell
she could still imagine it when she sometimes burrowed
her head in the shirt and inhaled.
She pulled away the covers and positioned herself in
the bed. She then pulled the covers over her and
started to relax as she called on sleep to come and
claim her.
She was still alone in bed but fortunately enough for
her she was too tired to care.
One day she thought I will tell him and then I won't
be lonely anymore and with that she was whisked off to
the land of dreams.
The end