SPOILERS: No real spoilers. Set a month after the break-up. Involves Ronnie, but since I�ve never met her I doubt you�ll be spoiled.
RATING: PG.
SUMMARY: Harry gets a surprise on his doorstep which will change his life forever.
DISCLAIMER: The TV series Boston Public and it�s characters are the property of NBC and Wolf Films. This fan fiction piece was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and the story, are copyrighted to the author. No infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended.
AUTHORS NOTES: This is my first Boston Public piece. Just remember that I�ve only seen season one so I haven�t met Ronnie yet. A huge thanks to Cyndi for beta�ing for me! All mistakes are mine.
FEEDBACK: Yes Please! I�d love to know what you think, but no flames please.
Harry was having a wonderful dream when his alarm went off. It had involved Lauren and her bathtub and he *really* wished it could have continued just a little longer. He sighed, rolling over and turning off the noisy contraption.
He was getting better. He didn�t wake up in the mornings and reach for her anymore. He no longer turned around to ask her a question, only to realize she wasn�t there. It had been a month since they broke up, and he was finally starting to get used to being alone again. Dragging himself out of bed, he made his way to the shower, preparing himself for another school day.
He was walking out of his bedroom twenty minutes later, buttoning his shirt, when he heard a knock on the door. Curious as to who would be calling around so early, he walked over to the door and opened it. There was nobody there and he was about to close the door when he heard a noise. Harry looked down and saw a small baby staring back up at him. He just stood there for a moment, not sure if he believed his eyes.
Finally shaking out of his stupor, Harry turned and looked down the hall. Not seeing anyone, and unsure what else to do, he picked up the baby carrier and bag and took the child into his apartment. He missed the face peering around the corner, crying as she watched.
�Uh, hi,� he greeted as he placed the carrier on the table. Blue eyes stared back at him. �I�m Harry, what�s your name?� He saw a note tucked in beside the child and carefully removed it. Opening it, he began to read.
Dear Harry,
I don�t know if you remember me, but we met almost a year ago in a bar. You were upset about something and my mother had just died and we became drinking partners. Neither of us remembered how we got back to your apartment, but we woke up in your bed the next morning. I really hope this is ringing some bells.
Harry paused, thinking back. Then he remembered. He�d just found out that his father had got into a brawl in prison and had had his sentence increased. He�d been feeling angry and alone and went out to drown his sorrows. He�d met a woman who was doing exactly the same thing and they�d gotten very drunk. He remembered waking up the next morning with no memory of what they�d done. Both had been naked so they had assumed something had happened. It had been very awkward and the woman had left soon after. He looked back to the letter and continued to read.
Well, the thing is, we obviously didn�t use any protection and I found out two months later that I was pregnant. I want to assure you that the baby is yours. I hadn�t slept with anyone else.
So, on to your daughter. Her name is Katherine Louise, but I call her Katie. She�s six weeks old. She was born on the 25th of March at 4:15 AM. I�ve put her baby book in her bag for you to read and continue.
I came to see you just after she was born. I was almost at your apartment when I saw you with your girlfriend. You looked so happy and I didn�t want to cause any problems for you. But now, I realize that you and your girlfriend would be better for her. I�m sorry for leaving her like this. It�s not that I don�t love her, but rather I love her too much to ruin her life. That�s what would happen if she stayed with me.
Please look after our baby, Harry. Ask your girlfriend to love her like her own and give her everything that I couldn�t.
I�m sorry,
Lilly.
Harry was in shock. His daughter? Was it possible? Of course this woman could be making it up. Why wouldn�t she have approached him when she found out she was pregnant? Why wouldn�t she meet him face to face and ask him to look after their child? There were too many questions, but right now he had a bigger problem. He had no idea how to look after a baby! Obviously Lilly hadn�t counted on him breaking up with Lauren.
Wondering who he could call for help, he decided Steven was the best choice. Not only did he have a child and would be able to help him, he could ask for a few personal days until he sorted out what was happening. Harry just hoped that he hadn�t left for work yet.
Dialing his boss� number, Harry waited impatiently as it rang.
�Hello?� a breathless voice answered.
�Steven! It�s Harry.� To say he was relieved was an understatement.
�Harry I was just about to leave. Can this wait until I get to school?�
�No, it can�t. Someone left a baby on my doorstep!�
�What?!� Steven asked, shocked. �Call the police then.�
�You don�t understand,� Harry insisted. �I think it�s mine.�
�Oh.� Steven wasn�t sure what to say to that. �Uh, congratulations.�
�Steven, I have no idea what to do with a baby! I�ve never changed a diaper, I�ve never...�
�I�ll be there in ten minutes, okay? Don�t panic, Harry.�
*****
By the time Steven arrived, Harry was in a panic. Katie had started crying a few minutes earlier and he was completely clueless as to how to handle the situation. He�d found a bottle bag which was full, but he had a feeling that the bottles were supposed to be warm. Not sure, he didn�t want to do anything in case he screwed up. �Thank God!� Harry said when he opened the door. �She�s crying and I have no idea what to do.�
Steven walked over to the baby carrier and unbuckled the small child. �She�s not very old,� he noted, being careful to support the baby�s head.
�Six weeks according to the note,� Harry replied. He watched as Steven soothed Katie, seeing how he held her and the way he rocked her gently.
�I�d say she�s hungry,� Steven stated. �The mother didn�t happen to leave any formula?�
�There�s some bottles in a bag, but I wasn�t sure what to do,� Harry admitted.
�That�s okay,� Steven assured him. �You take her and I�ll warm one for you.�
�I don�t know, Steven,� Harry protested. �I don�t want to drop her or anything...�
Steven chuckled. �You won�t drop her, Harry. Just hold her like this, and remember to support her head at all times.�
Awkwardly, Harry took the baby in his arms. He looked down at the bundle of joy and in that instant he knew she was his. He wasn�t sure how he knew, but that niggling doubt in the back of his mind was gone. He had a daughter. The thought was almost mind blowing!
�Okay,� Steven said as tested the bottle. �This is just right. See, you check the temperature like this.� He demonstrated. �You want it to be warm, but not hot or it will burn her.� After letting Harry feel how hot it should be, he told Harry how to feed her. He then sat back and watched both father and daughter. He could see that his friend was falling in love with the baby already. He hoped to God this didn�t end up in heartbreak. Harry deserved a bit of happiness for a change.
Once Katie had finished, Steven showed Harry how to burp her and then how to change a diaper. All too soon it was time for Steven to go to work but Harry was reluctant to let him leave.
�You�ll be fine,� Steven assured him. �Call me if you need me, okay? I�ll go pick up all the essentials and drop them off on the way home tonight. You�ve got enough bottles and diapers to last �til then.�
Harry nodded. �Thanks.� He paused for a moment. �I�d, ah, I�d appreciate it if you could keep this to yourself for now, Steven. Just until I know what�s going on.�
�Sure, Harry.� He grinned, �Have fun.�
�Gee, thanks,� he muttered, closing the door behind his friend. He looked into the bedroom where Katie was sleeping, and sighed.
*****
Steven was running late for school and only just caught the teachers before they made their way to class. �Harry Senate is off work for at least the rest of this week,� he informed them. �We�re all going to have to pitch in and share his classes until we can organize a temp.�
�What�s wrong?� Lauren asked, not even attempting to hide her concern.
�He�s taking some personal days,� Steven evaded, honoring Harry�s wish for privacy.
�Is he okay?�
Steven smiled at Lauren, realizing she still had feelings for the wayward teacher. �He�s fine. He just has a situation he has to sort out.�
�In other words Steven�s not gonna tell us,� Marla butted in. �You�re not his girlfriend anymore, you don�t have special girlfriend rights.�
Lauren glared at her, before turning back to the principal. �Steven...� Lauren started, obviously wanting a better explanation.
�He�s fine, Lauren,� Steven replied, leaving before she could ask any more questions.
*****
Harry placed Katie on his bed, pleased with his latest efforts. He�d managed to feed and change her without incident and now she slept peacefully. He just stood there and watched her sleep for a while, amazed that he could have had a part in making something so perfect.
He�d never really thought about children before. Once or twice while he was seeing Lauren, he�d caught himself imagining what it would be like to have a baby with her. But it was never anything serious, just daydreaming. Now, he had a child. It wasn�t exactly his daydream. He was single and the child was the product of a drunken one night stand, but he couldn�t say he wanted to give her up. He just wished he had someone to share it with.
A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts and he hurried to get it before Katie was disturbed. �Hey, Russell,� he greeted, when he saw his friend standing there.
�Hey, Harry,� Russell replied. �What�s the big emergency?� he asked.
Harry saw he was still in his police uniform. �Are you still on duty?�
Russell nodded. �Yeah, I�m on the beat right now. Can�t you tell? Why aren�t you at work?�
�There was a little incident this morning...�
Russell sighed. �What�d you do, Harry?�
�Nothing!� he defended. �A baby was left on my doorstep this morning.�
Russell raised an eyebrow. �Yours?�
Harry nodded. �Apparently.�
�Where�s the mother?� Russell asked.
�I don�t know. She left me a note and took off.�
Russell read the note and then turned back to Harry. �So, I guess you don�t know her last name or anything?�
�I wouldn�t have known her first name except she signed the note,� Harry replied. �If she left Katie on the doorstep, she could be in real trouble, Russ.�
�Yeah, she could be, but without more to go on, there�s not much I can do about it. What do you want to do about the kid?�
�What do you mean?�
Russell gave him a pointed look. �I have a friend in Child Services...�
�I won�t abandon her,� Harry interrupted. �She�s my daughter.�
"Is she?" Russell asked pointedly. Harry's gaze didn't so much as waver. With a sigh, Russell realized that Harry was determined to handle it his way. �Look, I�ll take a statement, so it�s on the record. You need to get yourself a paternity test. Then, if you're serious, you can apply for full custody. You�re still friends with that lawyer, right? I�d talk to her.�
Harry nodded. �Thanks, Russell.�
*****
Lauren had been worried about Harry all day. She�d gone to see Steven at lunch time but he had flatly refused to give her any details. She wondered what the possible reason could be. What if he was sick? Or a relative had died? He should have someone there for him, to offer him support or look after him.
Her car started heading to his apartment before she�d consciously made the decision but she continued, knowing she would never sleep that night unless she�d seen him with her own eyes.
She only started questioning her decision as she walked up the hall to his apartment. Harry was intensely private at the best of times and since they�d broken up, he seemed even more so. Would he be mad that she�d come to see him?
Gathering up her courage, she knocked on the door. Either way, she had to be sure he was okay. As much as she hated to admit it, Harry still held her heart.
She heard the sound of walking behind the door and then it opened, revealing Harry standing there. A quick look showed her that there were no obvious injuries.
�Lauren? What are you doing here?� he asked.
�Steven said you were taking some time off but wouldn�t tell me why. I guess... I guess I was worried.� She looked at the carpet as she admitted that, missing Harry�s pleased expression.
�I�m okay,� he assured her. �But thanks for your concern.�
�Can I come in?� she asked, unwilling to leave just yet.
Harry hesitated. �Uh, now�s not really a good time.� No sooner had he finished the sentence then Katie let out a wail, telling her father she was awake and wanted attention. Turning from Lauren, Harry hurried into the bedroom.
Lauren, more than a little curious, followed him in, stopping dead at the sight that greeted her. Harry was lifting a baby off the bed, his voice soft and soothing.
�It�s okay, Katie,� he whispered, taking the child into his arms. The baby settled immediately, large blue eyes looking up at him. �Hey, sweetie. Do you want some milk?� he asked her. He was pleased that the awkwardness that had plagued him earlier was finally abating.
He looked up then, seeing Lauren standing in the doorway, gaping at him. �Harry? What...�
�Harry?� they heard Steven call, interrupting her.
�I�m in here,� Harry called, walking past a still startled Lauren and into the living room.
�You left the door open. Oh, hey, Lauren,� Steven said, seeing her standing there. He turned back to Harry, showing him the bags he carried. �I think I got all the essentials. Are you sure you don�t want to come and stay with me tonight? Just until you get your bearings.�
�We�ll be fine, Steven. I haven�t dropped her or anything yet and I must say, that last diaper change was perfect.�
Steven laughed, then looked to Lauren who was still staring. �Are you okay, Lauren?�
She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. �What�s going on?� she finally asked.
Steven coughed slightly. �I�ll just get the rest of the stuff from the car.�
They watched him leave before Lauren turned back to Harry. �Harry?� she questioned once more.
�This is Katie,� he introduced, showing her the child. �She�s my... well she�s my daughter.�
Lauren�s jaw dropped again. �Your *daughter*?� she asked. Harry nodded.
A thought hit her. Had he been hiding this from her as well? �How long have you known about her?�
Harry chuckled. �Since about seven this morning when her mother left her on my doorstep.� He pointed to the note on the dining table. �Read that. It�ll answer a few of your questions. I have to feed her.�
While Harry warmed the last remaining bottle, Lauren read the note. She was pleased that he�d allowed her to read it, although suspected it was so he wouldn�t have to explain things himself. Once she�d finished, she looked to Harry, about to ask a question, but the words died on her lips. She watched, mesmerized as Harry sat on a chair and gave Katie her bottle. She�d daydreamed once or twice about having a baby with Harry, but the reality of seeing him with his child far surpassed the fantasy. It was a beautiful sight, but a part of her was saddened that she wasn�t a part of it.
�What are you going to do?� she asked, just as Steven walked back into the apartment.
�I have a friend who�s a cop, he took a statement and suggested I get a paternity test to make sure she really is mine. Then I apply for full custody. I�ve got a lawyer coming over tonight to give me some advice.�
�So, you�re going to keep her?� Steven asked, proud of his friend. He watched as Harry placed Katie gently to his shoulder and patted her back. He looked like he�d been doing it for years and Steven was pleased he�d settled into the role so easily. Some people were just natural parents.
�I�m not going to hand her over to Social Services. She deserves better than that.�
They talked for a few minutes longer, before a knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Getting to his feet, Harry moved Katie so she lay in his arms and went to open the door. �Hey, Ronnie,� he greeted, seeing the tall blonde standing in the hall.
�Oh my God, you weren�t kidding!� she almost squealed when she saw the child in his arms. �Oh, Harry, she�s gorgeous!� She gently took the baby from him. �She looks just like you,� she told him.
�Glad you still think I�m gorgeous then,� he joked, ushering her further into the room. �Ronnie, this is my Boss, Steven, and one of my colleagues, Lauren. Guys, this is Ronnie. She�s a lawyer.�
Harry, watching his daughter, missed the hurt look that crossed Lauren�s face. She wasn�t sure who this woman was, but she seemed very close to Harry. Also, being referred to as a �colleague� drove a knife into her heart. She knew that she had broken off their relationship, but she would have at least thought she rated as a friend.
�It�s nice to meet you,� Ronnie replied. �I�ve heard a lot about both of you.� She just grinned when Harry gave her a warning look.
They sat down, Harry and Ronnie on the sofa, Lauren in the overstuffed arm chair and Steven pulled up a chair from the dining table. �
You had the paternity test done?� Ronnie asked when they were all comfortable.
Harry shook his head. �I�ve made an appointment for Katie with a pediatrician in the morning. I thought I�d get her to do it for me.�
Ronnie nodded. �There�s not much we can do until we get the results back. You�ve made it official by getting that cop to take a statement, so as soon as the paternity results are back, it�ll be very simple to push the custody hearing through.�
�What about if Lilly wants her back?�
�Then you have to decide if you want her to. You�d have a very good case, even if she decided to contest. It would be very simple to prove her unfit.� She saw Harry grimace and laid a hand on his arm. �I know that�d be a hard thing to do, Harry, but you have to think about what�s best for this precious little girl.�
�You�re right,� Harry replied, seeing her point. He wasn�t sure if he would be able to trust Lilly with his daughter, after she left her on the doorstep so easily.
�Well, that�s about all I can tell you for now. Get the paternity test done and then we can see where we stand.� Ronnie looked at her watch and got to her feet. �I better go. Matthew and I have plans for dinner.�
�Say hi to him for me,� Harry told her, walking her to the door.
�He�d kill me if he knew I was over here without him!� she replied. �He�s always complaining that we never see enough of you.�
�We�ll have to get together soon,� he promised. He grinned. �You are going to give me my kid back, right?�
Ronnie looked down at the bundle in her arms, smiling at her before handing her over to her father. �I�m so glad to see you happy again,� she told him honestly. Then, remembering who else was in the room, she blushed. �I better go,� she said quickly, giving Harry a peck on the cheek and hurrying out the door.
Turning back to Lauren and Steven, Harry excused himself so he could change Katie�s diaper and put her down to sleep. Steven turned to Lauren who had a contemplative look on her face. She was pondering Ronnie�s final words, �I�m so glad to see you happy again.� She thought, maybe even hoped, that he had been sad because of her. Then chided herself for sounding so cruel. Still, it had her wondering.
�Are you okay, Lauren?� Steven asked.
�Yeah,� she replied, shaking from her thoughts. �This is all just a bit of a surprise, that�s all.�
Steven chuckled. �Isn�t it?� He looked toward the bedroom. �But Harry seems happy about it and I guess that�s the main thing.�
�Yeah,� Lauren replied, a touch of melancholy tinting her voice.
Steven looked at her for a moment. �He�s going to need a lot of help to do this,� he told her.
She looked back at him, a soft smile gracing her face. �Yeah.�
Harry walked back into the room then, oblivious to the conversation they had just had. �Does anyone want coffee?� he asked.
Both Lauren and Steven said yes and they were soon sitting down with a cup of coffee. �Where are you going to put her tonight, Harry?� Steven asked.
�I figured I�d just sleep out here,� Harry replied, taking a sip of his strong brew.
�Don�t be silly, you�re going to need all of the sleep you can get. Do you have a large drawer?�
�You want to put her in a drawer?� Harry asked, incredulous.
�I don�t mean put her in and close it,� Steven chuckled. �You can put it on the floor, fill it with blankets and turn it into a crib. She�s too young to roll over, so there should be no problem.�
�Oh, okay. I think I have a large enough drawer. Are you sure she�d be okay in it?�
�Come on, I�ll help you fix it up.� The two men went quietly into the bedroom and soon had a makeshift crib prepared. While they were gone, Lauren couldn�t help but go and read the note that Lilly had left one more time. She wondered how anyone could leave their baby on the doorstep and want someone else to raise her as their own. Lauren knew that the woman was referring to her and wondered what it would be like to be allowed to help raise Harry�s child.
She�d just sat down on the sofa when Harry and Steven returned to the living room. �Mission accomplished,� Steven said with a grin. He grabbed his jacket. �I better get going. Call me if you need me, okay? Any time.�
Harry nodded, smiling his thanks. �I will. Thank you for everything.�
�You�re welcome, Harry. Goodnight, Lauren.�
�Bye, Steven,� she replied, as he left. She knew that she should leave as well, but she wasn�t quite ready to go home to an empty apartment yet.
�You want more coffee?� Harry asked, wanting her to stay as well.
�Please,� she replied, handing her the mug she held.
He went into the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with two mugs and a packet of potato chips. He handed her a mug, placing the potato chips on the coffee table, before sitting down next to her. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Lauren spoke. �Can I ask you something, Harry?�
�What?� he asked.
�What were you so upset about the night you met Katie�s mom?� As soon as she said it, she regretted it, not wanting to spoil the easiness that had finally returned.
Harry sighed. He wasn�t sure why he wanted to tell her now. When they were together, he was reluctant to tell her anything about his life, but now he felt like he wanted to tell her everything. �You know my Dad�s in prison, right?�
She nodded, surprised that he was going to answer. �Yeah. You told me he was in there for armed robbery.�
�Yeah,� he replied. �He got fifteen years. That night, the night Katie was conceived, I�d just found out that he�d had his sentence increased.�
�Why?� Lauren asked, before giving herself a mental slap. She�d made the mistake of pushing too much last time. She knew she had to let him tell her in his own time if he was really going to open up to her.
�He got into a brawl and almost killed the other guy.� He shook his head. �I was so mad at him, but looking back, it really wasn�t a surprise. He always had a temper on him, ever since I could remember.�
�Did he hit you?� she asked quietly.
He shook his head. �No, he never had to. Who was going to argue with a man who had a sawn-off shotgun under his bed?� He sighed. �Besides, that would have been too much effort. He�d use words instead.�
�Sometimes emotional abuse can be worse than physical,� Lauren pointed out.
Harry sighed again. �Yeah.� He saw Lauren�s questioning look and knew she wanted to ask him more, but he was pleased that she didn�t. Now that he�d started, he found it easier to open up to her, but he needed to do it slowly, or he wasn�t sure he could continue.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Harry trying to get his thoughts together and Lauren trying hard not to ask the questions that were on her mind.
Eventually, Harry took a deep breath and continued. �I think that�s what finally killed my mother, you know? He just kept chipping away at her self confidence and I think she�d just had enough. She didn�t want to live anymore. He certainly had that effect on people.�
Instinctively, Lauren knew he was talking about himself. Her heart ached for him, wondering how such a wonderful man could have had a monster for a father, thanking God that he�d risen above that and become the person he was.
Harry couldn�t believe how liberating it was to share this with someone. He�d never told anyone the full story and it was like a weight was being lifted from his shoulders, making him almost light-headed. �I think...� he began, only to pause.
�You think what, Harry?� she gently questioned.
�I guess he�s the reason that I don�t feel comfortable opening up to people, even those I love. He was my father, but any time I showed the slightest vulnerability, *every* single time I showed some emotion, he was in on me. For as long as I can remember, even when I was a little kid, I had to hide it all away or he�d use it against me. And if my own parent would do that, then what would other people do?�
Lauren had tears in her eyes. �Harry, I would never use your emotions against you. I would never think any less of you for showing your vulnerable side.�
�I know that,� he replied, wiping a tear from her face. �But after twenty eight years, it�s a hard habit to break, even though I want to.�
She gave him a tremulous smile. �I think you just did,� she whispered.
They stared at each other and Lauren couldn�t believe the emotion she was seeing in his eyes. The hurt at what his father had done, the relief at having finally told someone and had them understand. But it was the love that shone above all of those other emotions, the love that she knew was for her.
She was just leaning in to meet his lips when there was wail from the bedroom. They both jumped at the sound, smiling at each other. �I�ve heard stories about kids and their bad timing,� Harry laughed as he went to get his daughter.
He returned a few minutes later with a still crying Katie. �Come on, Katie,� he soothed. �I�ll get your milk for you if you stop crying.�
�Do you want me to hold her while you make up her bottle?� Lauren asked, not having had a chance to hold the child yet.
�You sure?�
She nodded, smiling. �I think it�s time for Katie and I to get to know each other.�
Harry carefully handed over his daughter, watching as the baby immediately settled. �I think she likes you.�
Lauren just smiled, too amazed to speak as she looked down at the wonder in her arms. Bright blue eyes looked up at her and Lauren immediately fell in love with her. �Hi there,� she whispered. �You do look like your Dad, don�t you?� The eyes may have been blue, but the face was essentially Harry. Lauren had a feeling that her eyes would probably turn to brown before she was two. She hoped she would be around to see it.
Harry stood and watched the woman he loved and his daughter as they bonded. He saw Lauren�s eyes shining as she looked at Katie and wondered what she was thinking. It was a beautiful sight and one that he hoped he would see more of. Shaking from his thoughts, Harry turned to go into the kitchen and warm a bottle.
When he returned, Lauren was engrossed in a one sided conversation with Katie on the wonders of teddy bears. �Don�t worry, sweetie, we�ll go and buy you the best teddy bear we can find, okay?�
�You�re not going to spoil her, are you?� Harry asked with a grin.
Lauren grinned back at him. �Of course I am.�
Harry chuckled. �You want to feed her?� he asked, handing her the bottle.
Nodding, Lauren took the bottle and gave it to the baby. They sat in the comfortable silence, watching Katie while she had her bottle. Once she�d finished, Lauren patted the baby�s back before Katie started to cry. �Oh, sweetie,� she cooed. �You want to go to Daddy?�
Harry just stared at her. Daddy. That word hit him like a truck. He considered himself a father, but hadn�t thought of himself as a daddy. Daddy suggested love and support and a closeness. Was he capable of giving Katie all of those things?
�What?� Lauren asked, seeing the look on his face.
He shook his head. �Nothing.� He took his daughter and settled her down.
Lauren didn�t say anything until he�d put Katie in the makeshift crib and returned to the living room. �Harry? What was that about before?� she asked, once he was comfortably seated beside her.
�What was what?�
�When I called you Daddy.� Her eyes pleaded with him to talk and Harry found that he couldn�t resist.
�God, Lauren, what if I screw up?� he asked. �I mean I didn�t exactly have a great father to model myself on. What if I make the same mistakes he did?� He placed his head in his hands, trying not to let his emotions overwhelm him.
She reached out, running a soothing hand up and down his back. �You won�t,� she assured him. �Because you know they were mistakes and because you have people to help you.� She paused. �You have me to help you,� she added.
�I don�t need you to help me,� he told her. He saw her face crumble and reached out and grasped her chin when she looked away. �I need *you*, Lauren. I need you beside me.�
Her eyes got suspiciously bright. �You have me, Harry. I�ve always been yours.�
His hand moved to cup her cheek. �I can�t promise that I won�t screw this up again,� he told her. �Only that I�ll try my hardest not to.�
�That�s all either of us can do,� she replied. �We both have things we need to work on.�
They leaned into each other, lips meeting, then parting, before meeting again. Mouths opened and tongues dueled for supremacy. The kiss was everything they remembered and more. There were no doubts about what the other was feeling now and that made the kiss more special, touching both of their souls. When it finally ended, both were more than a little breathless.
�I love you,� Harry whispered.
She smiled. �I love you too.�
Harry pulled her close to him so she sat snuggled up beside him. �Will you stay tonight?� he asked.
�If you want me too,� she replied.
�I want you to,� he assured her. �I guess we should get to bed though. You�ve got school and I�ve got a baby to take to the doctors and shopping.� He looked around his small apartment. �God knows where I�m going to fit everything. I guess I should look at getting another place.�
Lauren hesitated for a moment. �What if... well what if you and Katie came and stayed at my apartment?� she suggested. �I hardly use the study anyway, we could convert that into the nursery.�
�Do you really think that�s a good idea?� he asked. �As much as I�d love to,� he hastened to add.
�I love you, Harry, and I want to be with you,� Lauren insisted. She watched, confused as a huge smile split his face and he pulled her into a hug. �What?� she asked.
�You said it,� he whispered, hugging her tighter.
She thought about what her last sentence had been. �I said what? That I love you? Harry, I�ve told you that before.�
He released her slightly. �But only after I said it first. I... I guess a part of me wondered if you were just saying it because I expected you to.�
�I wouldn�t do that,� she assured him. �Those words have too much meaning to be used lightly.� She placed her hands on either side of his face. �I love you, Harry Senate.�
He smiled. �I love you too,� he replied before they sealed it with a kiss.
�We should go to bed,� Harry eventually said.
�With Katie in there?�
He chuckled. �I meant to sleep, Lauren. It�s almost midnight and we both have a full day tomorrow.�
�Yeah, I guess you�re right,� she agreed, not able to keep the disappointment from her voice.
Harry grinned. �Tomorrow�s Friday,� he reminded her. �And we�ll be at your place. No baby in the bedroom. Think you can wait that long?�
Lauren grinned. �I guess. After all, there�s a lot to be said for anticipation, right?�
Harry pulled her to her feet and pushed her toward the bedroom. �Oh, yeah,� he replied, giving her a mock leer.
They checked on Katie before stripping off and getting into bed. Both of them sighed as they cuddled up together, finally feeling whole again.
*****
Lauren yawned as she walked into the teacher�s lounge. Katie had woken at two and then Lauren had had to leave early in order to go back to her apartment and get ready for school. She really needed a cup of coffee before she went to class or she thought she may just fall asleep.
�Hi there,� Marilyn said as she saw her friend walk in.
�Morning,� Lauren replied, heading straight for the coffee.
Marilyn noticed her friend yawn. �You look tired,� she commented. �Rough night?�
�Not really,� Lauren replied. She wanted to tell her friend more, but had promised not to say anything until Harry brought Katie in at lunch. �Just had a little trouble sleeping,� she elaborated, seeing her friend�s questioning look.
�Oh,� Marilyn replied, buying the story. �You hear what�s wrong with Harry?�
Lauren looked up sharply. �What?�
Marilyn shrugged. �I just thought, with you guys still being friends and all, you might have heard. It�s not like him to ditch school for no reason. He even missed one of his Suicide Club meetings.�
�I�m sure he has a good reason,� Lauren assured her. �Sorry, but I have to run. I�ve got some things to do before class. I�ll see you at lunch?�
�Sure� Marilyn replied, eyeing her friend. �Something is up with her,� she thought to herself, but decided to let it slide for now. �Catch you later.�
*****
Lauren had managed to avoid any questions for the rest of the morning, although she was sure Marilyn knew there was something up. Checking her watch, she realized that there was only a few minutes until lunch and decided to finish her lesson.
Once the bell had sounded, Lauren quickly made her way towards the teacher�s lounge, wanting to get there before the others so that Harry would have some support when he broke the news. She pushed the door open, smiling at the sight that greeted her. Katie was asleep in her brand new stroller and Harry was asleep on the sofa. Walking into the room, she stooped to look at Katie before moving to make herself a cup of coffee. She was just putting the milk back in the fridge when Katie woke up and started crying.
Harry jumped awake, looking sheepish as Lauren grinned at him. �I�ll get her, you warm her bottle,� she suggested, moving to pick up the small child.
Harry watched her as she rocked his daughter, humming a quiet tune which soon stopped Katie�s crying. He indulged for a few seconds longer before turning and grabbing her bottle from the bag.
The microwave had just dinged when Marilyn, Marla and Harvey walked into the lounge. Marilyn saw Lauren with Katie and was over there in a flash.
�Who�s this?� she asked.
�This is Katie. Katie, this is Aunt Marilyn.�
�Oh, she�s so beautiful,� Marilyn cooed. �Whose is she?�
�Ah, mine,� Harry said, turning to look at them as he tested the bottle.
Everyone stared at him as he walked over to Lauren. She gave him an encouraging smile and handed him his daughter. He sat gently on the sofa and gave Katie her bottle before looking up at the group staring down at him. �Haven�t you guys ever seen a baby before?�
Steven walked in then, interrupting the awkward silence. �Hey! How�d last night go?�
�She was perfectly behaved,� Lauren replied, before she even realized what that implied. That statement got the group looking back and forth between her and Harry, eyebrows raised. Lauren ducked her head, blushing furiously.
�So,� Steven said, trying to take some of the pressure off Harry and Lauren. �I see you went and bought her a stroller.�
Harry grinned. �That and more.� He looked down to Katie. �You managed to spend all Daddy�s money, didn�t you?�
Lauren smiled. He�d been so uncomfortable with her calling him Daddy last night. She was glad he found it easier to say now. �What else did you get?� she asked.
�A crib, a change table thingy, a bathtub, some clothes and of course some toys.� He grinned at Lauren. �I don�t think I�ve ever had so much help in my life! Between women gooing over Katie and laughing because I didn�t have a clue what I was talking about, everyone wanted to help!�
�It�s a turn-on to see a man with a child,� Marilyn said, breaking out of her stupor. �Women can�t resist a guy with a baby. By the way, Harry, congratulations. She�s beautiful.�
Harry smiled. �Thanks.�
�Let's just hope she doesn�t have your personality,� Marla said, moving to get herself some coffee.
Steven chuckled. �Did you take her to the pediatrician?�
Harry nodded. �We went there this morning. She was really nice, thanks for the recommendation.�
�What�d she say?� Lauren asked, sitting down next to him.
�She said that Katie�s in perfect health. She took some blood and is going to put a rush on the paternity test for me. Once we get that, Ronnie can deal with my application for full custody.�
�Where�s the child�s mother?� Harvey asked.
�I don�t know,� Harry replied.
Harvey shook his head. �It�s not right for a child to grow up without a mother. They�re the ones that end up being delinquents...�
�Harvey,� Steven warned, not wanting the older man to upset Harry. He knew his friend must be having enough doubts as it was.
Harry looked at the older man. �She�ll have plenty of female influences, Harvey. She�ll have Lauren and Marilyn and Marla...�
�Too right she will!� Marla said, beaming that she�d been included in the list. She often felt that Harry didn�t like her, but he had to hold her in high esteem if he considered her good enough to help with his child. She walked over to Harry. �May I hold her?�
�Have you taken your pills?� he asked with a grin.
�You can�t leave it at something nice can you?� she asked, cross that he�d teased her again.
�Hey, I have a reputation to keep,� he told her as he handed over his daughter.
*****
The rest of lunch was taken up by what Harry soon dubbed �pass the baby,� as everyone wanted to hold the precious little girl. They were reluctant to leave, even when it approached class time, but eventually only Harry, Lauren and Marilyn were left.
�Aren�t you two supposed to be doing lesson plans?� Harry teased.
�Just because you left us with all your work,� Marilyn returned.
Harry just grinned, before turning to Lauren. �Can you take her for a minute?� he asked. �I�ve just gotta go to the little boy�s room.�
Lauren grinned and took the baby from him, cradling Katie�s head on her shoulder. She kissed the baby�s forehead, inhaling that wonderfully unique baby smell. She caught a glimpse of Marilyn out of the corner of her eye and saw her frown. �What?�
�What are you doing?�
�What?� Lauren repeated.
�You and Harry. Are you two back on again?�
�Yeah, we are,� she replied with a smile.
�Do you really think that�s a good idea?�
Lauren smiled wider, knowing that Marilyn was just concerned about her. �I think it�s a wonderful idea.�
�Lauren, you know I�ve never been a big fan of Harry�s, but he is vulnerable at the moment. I mean he just found out he has a kid! What if this is just a need to have someone to be there for him? Kind of a mother figure for the baby.�
�He does need someone there and Katie does need a mother figure. But, Marilyn, I need him as well, and last night I *had* him, all of him. He told me things that I don�t think he�s told anyone before. He told me why he has difficulty opening up to me and now that I know, I can deal with that and help him.�
�So he gets his own therapist, what do you get?� Marilyn questioned, not convinced.
Lauren smiled. �I get the man I love with all my heart. I get a child that�s already come to mean *so* much to me. I think I come out of this pretty well.�
Marilyn smiled. �Then I�m happy for you. Just be careful, okay?�
�We will,� she replied, then grinned. �Now, I think this little lady needs a diaper change. Think you can grab the stuff from her bag for me?�
Laughing, Marilyn got all the necessary items then watched as Lauren changed the baby�s diaper. She could see her friend loved the child already and just hoped that the three of them could be happy together.
�All done,� Lauren said, doing up the snaps on the baby�s clothes.
�I should go,� Marilyn said, getting to her feet. �I�ve got a heap of papers to grade.�
�See you later,� Lauren called, picking up Katie.
Harry walked back in just after Marilyn left, stopping as he spotted Lauren and Katie having a cuddle. He felt his throat constrict at the sight, wishing that Lauren could be his child�s mother. Then again, she hopefully would be, in the only way that mattered.
�Are you going to stand there and stare all day?� Lauren teased, catching sight of him.
�Why not? It�s a pretty great view,� he replied, grinning. He walked further into the room. �Do you think you could watch her for a bit longer? I really should go down to the dungeon and see how things are going.�
�That�s fine. I need to go and see Steven, but I can just take her with me.�
�Are you sure?� he asked. �I don�t want to put you to any trouble.�
�Harry, stop,� she insisted. �I want to help you, remember? Don�t think you�re burdening me. I love spending time with her.�
�If you�re sure.� Harry grinned, giving her and Katie a quick kiss on the forehead. �I won�t be long.�
Lauren watched him leave before getting to her feet. She thought about putting Katie in her stroller but she just loved holding her, feeling the comfortable weight in her arms. She looked down at the slumbering child. It seemed that she just couldn�t keep her eyes off her.
Shaking her head as she realized how strong her maternal side was showing, Lauren headed out the door to Administration.
*****
Steven was dictating a letter to Louisa when Lauren knocked on the door. �Oh, sorry, Steven, I�ll just wait,� she said when she realized he was busy.
�No, no,� Steven insisted. �Come in, we can finish this later.�
Lauren smiled and walked further into the office. �Thanks. I just wanted to talk to you about those new text books I want to order.�
�Uh, excuse me?� Louisa interrupted. �What�s that?�
Lauren grinned. �It�s a baby, Louisa.�
�Uh, yeah. Where did it come from?�
Steven chuckled. �I�m sure you have work to do, Louisa,� he hinted.
�But...�
�Goodbye, Louisa. Close the door on the way out.�
Pouting, Louisa did as she was told, even if she was clearly unhappy about it.
Lauren grinned, knowing she would be bombarded on the way out anyway.
�You look good with her,� Steven stated, seeing her glowing face.
Lauren blushed at that, looking down at the sleeping child.
�I take it you and Harry are...� He waved his hand around.
She smiled. �Yeah. I asked him to move in with me.�
Steven�s eyebrows raised high at that. �Look, I don�t want to interfere but... isn�t that a bit soon?�
�I don�t think so. We have this little girl to think about and Harry and I have moved past the problems we had before.� She smiled, �we�re gonna be okay.�
�I�m glad to hear it. You two really are good for each other.�
Lauren was about to reply when Scott stormed into the office. �Steven, I demand an explanation!�
The noise startled Katie from her sleep and she started wailing. Lauren stood up, placing the little girl on her shoulder and gently patting her back. �Shh, Katie. It�s okay,� she soothed. Concentrating on soothing the distressed baby, Lauren missed the look on Scott's face.
The vice-principle�s jaw almost hit the ground, his eyes wide and the sight before him. His beautiful Lauren was holding a baby. It almost took his breath away watching her. For a brief moment, he entertained the fantasy that the child was his. His and Lauren�s.
The fantasy was shattered however when Harry walked into the room. �Hey, what�s wrong?� he asked, moving immediately to Lauren.
�Scott came in and startled her,� Lauren replied. �She�s okay,� she assured him.
Scott watched as Harry reached out, brushing a hand over Katie�s soft hair. He saw the look Lauren gave both Harry and the child. The love radiating from her shining eyes drove a stake through his heart. He knew then that he�d lost her again. Not that he�d ever had her in the first place.
�How about I get her out of here?� Harry suggested. �You must have work to do.�
Lauren nodded, but Harry could see that she was reluctant to let the child go. �If you want to spend more time with her, you can do the two am feed,� he teased.
Lauren just laughed. �Come on, I�ll walk back with you and give you the key to the apartment. You may as well move all her things in now.� She looked to Steven. �Can we finish this in a little while?�
�Sure, Lauren. Have a good afternoon, Harry,� Steven replied.
�You too, Steven,� Harry replied, ushering his girls out of the room.
*****
Harry sighed, looking around at his handiwork. The newly converted nursery was finally done. He doubted that Lauren realized how much stuff she�d accumulated in her study. So, his first problem had been where to put all of her things. His second problem had been following the instructions for erecting Katie�s crib. He considered himself an educated man, but there was no way that he could understand the instructions. He�d finally managed to get it finished with no bits left over.
�Now the real test,� he said to himself, walking into the bedroom where Katie was sleeping. He picked her up, careful not to wake her and took her into the nursery. He then gently placed her in the crib, covering her with a blanket. She whimpered slightly at being jostled but was soon sleeping soundly once more.
Pleased with his efforts, Harry watched her for a minute longer before walking out of the room, closing the door so it was only slightly ajar. He felt strange wandering around Lauren�s apartment by himself. When they were seeing each other before, he would never be there unless she was there too. He briefly considered doing a bit of snooping before deciding that Lauren would probably kill him if she caught him. So he grabbed the remote and laid down on the sofa. Surfing the channels for a few minutes, he soon found a game and settled into watch it.
When Lauren arrived home half an hour later, she found Harry sleeping on the sofa, the game still going on the TV. She smiled, reaching out to stroke his cheek before covering him with the blanket from the back of the sofa. She then noticed the mess, surprised by the sheer volume of things that must have come from her study.
Thinking of the study reminded her of the precious little girl that was now occupying the room. With one last look at Harry, Lauren crept quietly into the new nursery. She smiled as she saw what Harry had been up to. There was a crib in one corner and a changing table in another. The third corner contained her desk which was now covered in baby products and clothes. She saw a Sesame Street poster on the wall above the crib, as well as a mobile hanging from the ceiling.
She walked over to the crib, peeking in. She grinned as she saw blue eyes staring back at her. �What are you doing awake, little one?� she asked.
Katie whimpered, so Lauren reached in and picked the baby up. �There�s a beautiful girl,� she whispered. �Let's not wake Daddy, huh?�
She changed the baby�s diaper before heading to the kitchen to warm a bottle. She had just started feeding Katie when she heard Harry walk in. She looked up, smiling as she took in his mussed hair and sleepy eyes. �Hi.�
�Hi. How long have you been home?�
�Not long.�
He sat down at the table, opposite Lauren, watching her and Katie. �I didn�t even hear her wake up,� he told her, feeling guilty for missing his child�s cries.
�She was lying quietly in her crib.� She grinned. �Very good job by the way. I didn�t know you were a regular handyman.�
He laughed. �After the trouble I had putting that crib together, I think it�s safe to say that I�m not!�
Once Katie had finished, they both went into the nursery to put her down. Harry watched as Lauren lovingly tucked his daughter in. He could see that she was already taken with the baby. It made his heart swell as he watched them together. He didn�t think it was possible to fall in love with her anymore than he already had, but Harry was pretty sure that he just had.
*****
Late that night, Harry and Lauren were sitting quietly on the sofa, just enjoying being together. Harry was the one to break the silence. �Was Marilyn right?� he asked.
�Was Marilyn right about what?� Lauren replied, worried that he�d overheard them talking earlier.
�That women can�t resist a man with a baby.�
She looked at him, having a fair idea where this was going. �If you think I�m here only because of Katie, then you�re wrong. Yes, Katie allowed me to see a side of you I didn�t know was there, but...�
�But what?� he pressed when she paused.
�I missed you, Harry,� she admitted. �Last night, you actually opened up to me. That was what was missing. When we were together before, I thought... I thought that you didn�t want me in your life.�
He sighed. �I tried, Lauren. I really did and now you know why I do hide things. Plus, I guess...�
�What?� she asked, when he didn�t go on.
He wasn�t sure if he should continue. He hadn�t admitted it to her last night and he wondered if it would hurt more than it would help. He realized though that if he didn�t tell her, she�d think he was back to hiding things. �I guess I always thought that I wasn�t good enough for you and one day you�d realize that and leave me. I suppose I was just trying to protect myself. I didn�t realize it was driving you away until it was too late.�
�Oh, Harry, you�ve got to stop putting yourself down. You are a *wonderful* man and you�re going to be a great Dad! Any child would be lucky to have you as their father.� She reached out and caressed his cheek. �Just like any woman would be lucky to have you as their partner. I�m just glad you chose me.�
�You didn�t think that before,� he pointed out.
�Don�t think about before, it does no good to worry about the past. All that matters is that we�re together now and we�re both going to work hard at keeping it that way.�
He nodded, pulling her close to his side and kissing her on the temple. Lauren sighed in content, snuggling close to him and looking around at the mess that was her living room. �Where are we going to put everything? We�ve got to find somewhere for your stuff yet.�
�Been thinking about that,� he told her, running a hand through her long tresses. �How would you feel about maybe buying a house together?�
She sat up, looking at him with wide eyes. �Are you serious?�
He shrugged, feeling unsure of himself. �It was just a thought. Between the two of us we should be able to get a loan. I just thought it�d be good if Katie had a yard and then we�d have room for all our stuff...�
�I think it�s a great idea, Harry,� she told him, cutting off his nervous rambling.
�Really?�
�Really,� she agreed, moving in to kiss him deeply.
�Mmm, I like it when I have a good idea,� he grinned.
�Well, I have another good idea,� she told him, tugging on his shirt.
�Ooh, I like your idea too,� he whispered, his voice going husky.
�Take me to bed, Harry,� she purred in his ear.
She didn�t have to ask him twice.
*****
Epilogue
*****
Lilly said a final goodbye to her father before heading out the front door of his house. She would miss having him so close, but she just couldn�t stay in Boston anymore. She had to make a fresh start, get her life together and she couldn�t do that in the city where all her problems were.
She looked across the street as she headed to her car, noticing that the Realtor was showing a young family around the Murphy house. �It would be a perfect place for a new family,� she mused, watching the woman pick her crying baby up from the stroller. Then she got a glimpse of the father and her heart almost stopped. It was Harry, which meant the baby was her daughter.
�Not your daughter anymore,� she told herself. �You gave up that right when you left her on their doorstep.� She watched in morbid fascination as Katie stopped crying, nestled in the arms of her new mother. Lilly knew then that she had made the right decision. Katie would have a good life now, with parents who weren�t screw-ups and could provide her with everything she needed. She knew in that instant that she would never return to claim her daughter. She would never put Katie through that. Nor Harry or the woman who obviously loved her new baby. They had their life now, it was time to go and find hers. Taking one last look at the happy family, she got in her car and left Boston for good.
*****
�It�s perfect,� Lauren breathed, looking around.
�I thought you�d like it,� the Realtor replied. �Perfect for a family. The neighborhood is quiet and safe. It has large front and backyards, enough room inside for if your family grows a little larger.�
Harry nodded, loving it. He had a feeling that they�d be happy living there. He looked at Lauren. �What do you think?�
She smiled. �I love it, Harry.� She looked down at Katie. �What do you think, sweetheart?�
The Realtor looked at the small child. �She really is beautiful,� he cooed. �Looks just like her mom.�
Lauren opened her mouth to correct him, but Harry was faster. �She does, doesn�t she?� he agreed, wrapping an arm around Lauren.
Lauren looked at him, surprised, but then her face broke out into the biggest smile. �Thank you,� she replied, both to the Realtor and Harry.
�Okay, where do we sign?� Harry asked. He looked at Lauren and Katie and couldn�t help but smile wider. He had a family. A wonderful partner, a beautiful child and now they would have a house that they could call their own. He didn�t think life could get any better. �So this is what it feels like to be happy,� Harry thought as he followed the Realtor back into the house. �I think I could get used to this.�
THE END