Losing Control

CATEGORY: Catherine/Grissom, smut

STATUS: Complete

RATING: NC17

CONTENT WARNING: graphic sex

SEASON/SEQUEL: any season

SPOILERS: none

SUMMARY: Catherine wants to do something for Gil.

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of CBS TV and Alliance-Atlantis Communications. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

AUTHORS NOTES: I'm blaming this all on Clara, who lured me into a smut list, knowing full well I wouldn't be able to resist. Thanks for the beta hon!

FEEDBACK: Yes Please! I love to know what you think.

Copyright � Jez, September 2024.

~~o0o~~

Catherine Willows felt the bed dip by her side, the movement pulling her from the lingering remnants of sleep. She sighed as she felt fingers stroking the hair from her forehead and stretched languidly. "Good morning," she murmured, opening her eyes to see her lover looking down at her.

"Sorry," Gil Grissom whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you."

She glanced over at the clock, noticing it was later than she'd thought. He must have worked late if he was only just getting home. "It's okay," she assured him. "I was just dozing." She looked at him for a moment, taking in his tired eyes and drawn face. "Hard night?" she asked, reaching up to caress his cheek. It was stubbly under her fingers, abrading her skin slightly as he leaned into her touch.

"Yeah," he replied. "Two more doped up, dead teenagers. I'd love to get my hands on the guy selling this stuff."

She heard the suppressed rage in his voice. She knew he was taking it personally that they hadn't caught the guy yet. One of the things that Gil despised most was people who dealt to kids. They'd been working the case for weeks, trying to find the guy selling a batch of bad cocaine that was responsible for killing eight teenagers. It didn't matter that there had been no leads, Gil thought he should have been able to crack the case by now.

"You should have called me," she gently chastised, moving her hand so she could run her fingers through his hair.

"You haven't had any time to yourself in months. I wasn't going to ruin that." He sighed as she started massaging his scalp, closing his eyes. "Mmm, that feels so good."

Catherine sat up and moved to kiss him on the cheek. "Why don't you get undressed and I'll run you a bath?" she suggested. She knew how tense he could get by the end of a shift and wanted to do something to help him relax. "Then I'll make you some breakfast and you can get some sleep."

He shook his head. "Cath--"

She cut him off with a kiss. "Let me look after you, Gil."

He must have seen her desire to take care of him in her eyes, because he gave her one of his little half smiles and started taking off his jacket. She smiled back at him and crawled out of bed, heading straight to the bathroom to draw him his bath. She turned on the taps and adjusted the temperature before placing the plug in the drain. Then she dug out her bath pillow for him. By that time he'd undressed and walked in just wearing his boxers.

"You can't have a bath in those," she told him, smiling.

"You just like seeing me naked," he countered.

"Damn straight." She watched him slip out of his boxers and couldn't help but take a moment to admire him in all his glory. He may not have a perfectly buff body, but he always managed to turn her on just by looking at him. She leaned over and kissed him gently, running a hand down his hair-smattered chest.

"I'll leave you to soak," she told him, when she finally moved her lips away. "I'll get breakfast ready then come and wash your back, okay?"

He nodded, stepping into the hot water and letting out a moan of pleasure as he sank down into it. She smiled as the frown lines lessened across his brow and he gave a contented sigh. She turned and left him to relax, only pausing by the door when he called her name. She turned back to see his blue eyes watching her.

"Thanks," he told her.

She smiled tenderly. "Anytime," she returned, before heading out of the room.

*****

Catherine quickly got dressed before heading into the kitchen, where she set about making some breakfast. She knew Gil hated eating anything heavy before he went to sleep, so she grabbed some fruit and set about making him a bowl of fruit salad. She placed the bowl on the table and poured a glass of juice to accompany it, before heading back into the bathroom.

She smiled at the sight of her lover, eyes closed as he relaxed in the tub. She was glad she could help him relieve the stresses of the previous night. Now all she needed to do was get him to eat something and get a few hours sleep and she knew he'd feel a hundred percent better.

"You're not going to sleep, are you? I'd hate for my favorite CSI to drown on me."

"Be an easy one to call," he replied, smiling but not opening his eyes.

"Yeah, but think of all the paperwork," she countered.

He chuckled and opened his eyes to look at her. "I believe you mentioned something about washing my back?" he asked.

She grinned and walked further into the bathroom. She grabbed a towel and put it on the floor to kneel on, before reaching for the washcloth and soap. Dipping both in the water, she rubbed them together and then ran the washcloth across his chest. She grabbed one of his hands out of the water, holding it up so she could wash his arm, before repeating the action with the other arm.

"Is this the time that I should start purring?" he murmured.

She chuckled. "If that's what you want," she replied. She released the hand and rinsed the soap off. Next she ran the washcloth across his stomach and then lower, carefully washing his flaccid penis. She felt him stir slightly, but this wasn't about arousal; this was about taking care of him.

She continued down his legs, picking first one then the other up so she could wash them thoroughly. "Sit up," she murmured.

"Not sure I can," he replied, but managed to push himself up so she could wash his back.

"There you go," she told him, rinsing the cloth out and placing it on the edge of the bath. "Ready to get out?"

He didn't say anything and she looked up to see him watching her intently. "What?" she asked.

"You know I don't expect you to do this, right?"

She smiled, reaching out to touch his cheek. "I know, I want to." Leaning over the tub, she gave him a gentle kiss. "Get out and get dried," she told him, when she pulled away. "I'll grab you some clothes."

She left him getting out of the tub and walked back into her bedroom. Going to 'his' drawer, she grabbed a pair of boxers and a T-shirt, closing the drawer before heading back into the bathroom. He was just finishing drying off and she took a minute just to watch him. "Nice view," she murmured, when he looked across at her.

"It's pretty spectacular from this angle as well," he returned, offering her a soft smile.

She blushed and her heart soared. Even after being with him for six months, she never tired of his compliments. She didn't think she ever would. The man was always making her feel good, both physically and emotionally. "You ready for breakfast?" she asked him, handing him his clothes.

He nodded as he dressed and blushed a little as his stomach grumbled its affirmative. "Where's Lindsey?" he asked, pulling on his shirt.

"She called from Kylie's house and said she was having so much fun that she was gonna stay tonight as well. Kylie's parents were cool with it, so I didn't mind."

"Have I met Kylie?" he asked, as she started leading him from the bathroom.

"Yeah, she was the one that stayed over last month. You remember, long black hair and an ever-present smile?"

"Oh, the one that screamed at my spider?" he asked, as they entered the kitchen.

Catherine chuckled. "That's the one."

"Ooh, fruit salad," he said, when he noticed the breakfast on the table.

"Freshly made," she told him, taking a seat opposite him.

"Thanks, Cath," he told her, digging into her meal.

"Would you stop doing that?" she chastised. "You don't have to thank me. I love you and I love taking care of you."

He smiled and reached out for her hand. "I know you do and I really appreciate it."

She returned his smile. "I know, now eat up so you can get some sleep."

"Yes, ma'am."

*****

Catherine stared at him across the table as he read an excerpt from the newspaper. She had no idea what he was talking about; she was more interested in his mouth. She watched it move and remembered what it felt like to have that mouth moving over her body. She felt the heat flair in her loins at the thought. He was such an incredible lover. Though she hated to compare them, he was nothing like Eddie. Eddie had been exciting and adventurous, but what Gil Grissom lacked in adventure he made up for in his thoroughness. He aimed to please and she had to admit she was pleased.

When his eyes drooped for a third time, Catherine got the hint. He was trying to stay awake and talk to her but his body had almost had enough. "It's time for bed, Mister," she told him, getting to her feet.

He looked up and smiled. "Aww, but, mom," he whined.

She chuckled and reached for his hand. "Come on, you."

"Are you going lay with me for a while?" he asked, as they made their way up the stairs to her bedroom.

"If that's what you want," she agreed.

"You know I sleep better when you're in my arms."

She smiled widely as she pulled off her jeans, slipping into bed with just her T-shirt and panties on. He did the same and then spooned up behind her, giving a contented sigh as he settled against her back.

Catherine leant back into him as his arms came around her and his hands started caressing her. She knew his touch was supposed to be soothing, but her body was still humming from her previous thoughts and his caresses only heightened her arousal. He ran a hand across her breast and she couldn't control the shiver that traveled down her spine. His hand paused and then repeated the process, getting the same result. Then his hand moved down her body to cup her sex and she just knew he could feel the dampness of her panties.

"Why didn't you say something?" he asked.

"You're exhausted, Gil."

He didn't say anything, but his hand moved from her mound to her thigh. She thought he was relenting, but then he moved his hand down her leg and pulled it back and over his. Before she could even comprehend what he was doing, his hand returned to her stomach and then slid down into her panties.

"Gil!"

"Shh," he whispered, as his fingers parted her folds. "Just relax."

He kissed her neck as his finger stroked across her clitoris and she couldn't help but buck against his hand. "That feels so good," she moaned.

"Want it to feel better?" he asked, his voice low and husky.

She couldn't speak, only just managing a rapid succession of nods as his hand moved. Then she felt two long fingers enter her and she moaned loudly. They stroked her with long deep movements, angling up to rub against the top of her channel. She cried out at the feelings he was evoking in her, pushing against his hand for more. He could play her so well and she knew it wasn't going to take much more for her to explode. His thumb pressing down on her clit did it and she cried out as she contracted around his fingers. He continued to stroke her while she came down from her high, only sliding his fingers out of her once her body stopped quivering.

With some effort, Catherine managed to roll over to face her lover. He smiled at her with a sleepy expression and she knew he was quite content to go to sleep now. She could feel his penis against her thigh, semi-erect but not fully aroused and that was more than enough to indicate just how exhausted he was.

"Feel better now?" he asked, voice already drowsy.

"Yes," she whispered. "Thank you."

He gave her that boyish grin that always made her heart skip a beat. "Anytime," he told her, before closing his eyes and pulling her closer to him.

Her heart swelled. What had she done to deserve a man like Gil Grissom? Everything he did was with her happiness in mind. She couldn't remember a time when he'd lost control when they'd made love. He was always so careful to put her needs before his own. As she watched him slip into dreams, she made a decision to do something special for him.

*****

Catherine quietly slipped out of bed an hour later, trying not to disturb her lover, who was still sleeping peacefully. She'd dozed on and off for a while, but mostly she'd thought about what she could do for Gil and one thing kept popping back into her mind. She'd dismissed it the first few times, not sure how he'd react to it, but now it was the one thing she felt she could do that would be all about him.

She decided she'd get everything prepared and then let him decide if he wanted her to continue. If he did, she'd give him a show he wouldn't forget in a hurry, but if he didn't she would save herself the embarrassment by asking first.

She went to her underwear drawer and quietly got out her littlest, sexiest thong and a lacy push-up bra that matched. She knew he loved the red lace bra, but she didn't think she'd worn the thong for him before. She went to her closet and grabbed her red silk robe and a pair of black, lace-up stilettos and then took her pickings into the bathroom.

She knew she still had a couple of hours before Gil woke up, so she drew herself a bath and put in some of the rose oil that he loved to smell on her skin. Then she undressed and allowed herself to be immersed in her bubble haven. While she soaked, she thought about the routine she'd do for Gil. She was a little limited without a pole, but she could improvise and she was sure she could give him a lap dance that he would thoroughly enjoy.

By the time she got out of the bath, she was clear on her routine and the music she would use. Now all she had to do was dress, prepare the room and wait for him to wake up.

*****

Gil wandered into the living room a few hours later, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and looking altogether too cute and rumpled as far as Catherine was concerned. She had been lying on the sofa, engrossed in a cheesy romance novel while she waited, but she threw that aside and jumped to her feet when she saw him.

"I can't believe I slept so long," he muttered, on his way to the kitchen, probably to get coffee.

She knew he was still half asleep, so she forgave him for not noticing her attire. "You were exhausted," she told him, intercepting him and grasping his hand in hers. "Come and sit down for a moment," she encouraged.

"What's going on?" he asked, finally eyeing what she was wearing.

She led him to where she'd placed one of the kitchen chairs and pushed him to sit. Then she threw a leg over him and straddled him, sitting on his lap. Before he could say anything, she kissed him tenderly. She drew it out for both of them, as their tongues stroked leisurely over each other and they re-explored each other's mouths. By the time they pulled apart they were both breathing heavily and he was definitely awake.

"What's all this?" he asked, fingering the silk robe.

"I wanted to do something to please you," she admitted.

"You always please me," he assured her. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I've never had to fake it."

She laughed, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. "You know what I mean, Gil. You're always so careful to please me, I just want to do something to return the favor."

He reached up and stroked her face. "Pleasuring you pleases me, Catherine."

She watched him carefully and saw the truth in his eyes. He really did get off on getting her off. It made her more determined to do something for him. "I really appreciate that," she assured him. "But I want to do something for you, something that's about your pleasure." She smiled. "I want to dance for you and I know if you just let me try, I'd be able to turn you on."

"Okay, two things. Firstly, you wouldn't be the person I love and respect if I had to 'let' you do anything. Secondly, you only have to walk in the room and you arouse me. No dancing is required."

She smiled, leaning forward and kissing him. "You're such a smooth talker, Gil Grissom," she murmured against his lips. "So you don't want me to dance for you?"

"I didn't say that. I said I don't *need* you to dance for me."

She couldn't believe this selfless man. Any other guy would have jumped at the chance, but Gil was just worried about her. "What if I told you it'd turn me on as well?" she asked.

He looked deeply into her eyes for a moment and smiled softly. "You really want to do this, don't you?"

She nodded. "I do."

He lightly caressed her cheek, before tangling his fingers in her hair. "Then you don't need my permission and you know very well I'll enjoy the show."

She smiled and moved to give him a mind-blowing kiss. Once she felt his arousal start to stir, she pulled back and got to her feet. "Just sit there," she told him, walking over to the coffee table and picking up the remote to the stereo. "Okay, bear in mind that I'm not as young and agile as I used to be," she warned, before pressing the remote.

"Do I get some dollar bills?" he asked, with a grin.

She gave him a mock glare, just as the first strains of Santana's 'Smooth' blared out of the stereo. Her hips started moving with the beat, swinging from side to side and her hands went to the edges of her robe, but she didn't open it straight away. Instead, she turned away, walking in time to the music and heading to the door. Once there, she grasped the frame and swung her leg up to hug the wall, pressing her pelvis against the door frame.

Catherine turned to look at her lover, seeing his eyes were roaming over her exposed thigh and watching her hips as they rocked against the wood. His eyes had darkened, the pupils dilating as his arousal grew. He shifted in his seat and she hoped that was because his erection was growing.

Fairly sure he was enjoying himself, she kicked her toe out, before sliding her leg back down the wall and turning to face him. Then she finally undid the robe and showed him what she was wearing underneath.

He was definitely enjoying himself.

She could now see the bulge in his boxers and the way his eyes had widened as he took in the thong and bra she was wearing. Satisfied that he was enjoying the show, she allowed the robe to fall from her body, her hips swaying down to follow its decent. Then, eyes fixed on her prey, she headed toward him. It was time to give her lover the lap dance of his life.

She circled him first, her fingers skimming his shoulders as she shimmied in a small circle around him. Once back in front of him, she rocked her hips from side to side before giving a small thrust in front of his face. Then she straddled him.

She started off just barely brushing against his boxers, small calculated movements designed to tease him. Then she moved lower and ground her pelvis against him, just as she reached behind her and undid her bra. His eyes - which had all but rolled back in his head when she started grinding against him - popped open as he stared at the round globes just inches from his face.

It was then that she felt the first touch of his fingers on her body. She had planned to make him behave like a customer - look but don't touch - but that was until she felt his hands on her heated skin. There was no way in hell she was asking him to stop.

"You feel so good," he murmured, hands skimming up her legs.

"Wanna feel the best part of me?" she asked, her voice low and husky.

He nodded and she popped the button of his boxers, before pulling them roughly down his legs. She pulled off her thong before moving to straddle him again.

"You need me to..." He gestured vaguely between her legs and it took Catherine a moment to work out what he meant.

She smiled when she figured it out, grasping one of his fingers and allowing it to probe her center. "I'm as ready as you are," she assured him, before releasing his hand.

She took his erection in her hand and guided him slowly into her. She paused once she had fully sheathed him, allowing herself time to adjust to his size. Then she gripped the back of the chair and started moving. Her eyes locked with his and she could see the emotions clearly on display. The desire, the awe and the love were shining brightly in his blue depths.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you," he replied, his voice tight.

She could see it in his face and in the tight way he held her hips that he was struggling to remain in control. She rose up, squeezing him with her internal muscles as she went and watched as his eyes rolled back in his head. "Let go," she whispered. "I want you to lose control."

"What about you?" he muttered.

"This isn't about me," she assured him. "Let go." As she squeezed him tightly once more, she saw something in his eyes snap and he grasped her hips more firmly, guiding her moves to speed up as he started thrusting up into her. She gasped at the sudden change and, although she was on top, she felt she was no longer in control. One look in her lover's eyes told her that he barely was either.

Gil had never been a vocal lover. His quiet grunts as he'd thrust into her and the groaning of her name as he came were his only sounds. But now he was muttering incoherently and groaning as she continued to help him toward completion. He was almost slamming up into her and she couldn't help but cry out as he lowered his head and latched onto a breast.

"Oh, God, Gil," she breathed.

"Ride me harder," he muttered, around her nipple.

The request was such a surprise that she almost thought she'd heard him wrong. That was until he looked up at her and she realized that she'd finally done it; he had finally lost control.

She did as he asked, her legs burning from exertion as she rode him as hard as she could. As she rose up, he changed the angle of his hips slightly and her clit brushed his pubic hair on the way back down. She cried out at the sensations and redoubled her efforts, ignoring her fatiguing muscles as her toes started to curl and the tingling began in her loins. A few more strokes and she was there, clamping around him and crying out his name. Her release triggered his and he thrust up into her one more time before he cried out into her shoulder.

She fell heavily against his chest, panting for breath as she felt him twitching inside of her. She nuzzled his neck, feeling him relax beneath her as he finally came down from his own high.

"So, what'd you think?" she asked, moving back slightly, so she could look at him.

"My reaction wasn't obvious?" he replied, and she could see him blushing, despite the redness from their exertion.

"Don't be embarrassed," she coaxed, stroking his cheek. "Please don't be embarrassed about this. I know how much you love to be in control and I'm so proud of you for letting that go."

"Did you enjoy it as much as I did?" he asked, and she could see how important the answer was to him.

"My reaction wasn't obvious?" she mimicked, grinning. She moved forward and kissed him sweetly. "I enjoyed it just as much as you did, Gil," she assured him.

He smiled. "I'm glad."

They stared at each other for a few moments, before Gil cocked his head to the side. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," she replied, seeing his face had turned serious.

"Why did you feel the need to ask my permission?" He lifted her chin so that their eyes met. "Do you think I'm ashamed by what you used to do?"

She shook her head. "No, not ashamed, but I know you think I'm better than that."

"That's because you are," he agreed, stroking her cheek. "But, Cath, your past helps to make you who you are and you know I love who you are."

Her smile turned tremulous and she moved to kiss him soundly. "I love you so much," she whispered.

They kissed languidly for a few more minutes, before Catherine reluctantly pulled away. "We really need to start getting ready for work," she told him.

"Let's call in sick," he suggested, moving to kiss her neck.

Catherine pulled back and stared at him. "Who are you and what have you done with my lover?" she asked.

He gave her a lopsided grin. "I don't want to leave all of this to deal with the scum of the Earth," he told her. "Is that selfish?"

"No, it's human," she replied. "But, unfortunately, we have to go anyway." She kissed him a final time and then rose from his lap.

"Oh, I'm gonna be sore later," she groaned.

"Come on," he coaxed, getting to his feet. "We've got enough time for a shower."

She smiled and reached for his hand so they could head upstairs to the bathroom.

*****

Catherine and Gil arrived before the night shift officially started. Gil always liked to take a look at the jobs on his desk before handing out the assignments, so he knew who to hand what to.

"What have we got, Boss?" Catherine asked, taking a seat on the sofa in his office.

Gil picked up the folder and sighed. "Two more dead teenagers."

She looked at him carefully, trying to see how he was handling this latest development. He looked up and saw her watching him. "I'm okay," he assured her. "Mad, but okay."

She nodded. "Anything else on?" she asked.

He looked around the desk and shook his head. "Looks like a light night."

"Come one then," she said. "Let's find the others."

They headed out of Gil's office and made their way to the break room. Warrick, Nick and Sarah were all there, talking quietly amongst themselves. They looked up when Catherine and Gil arrived.

"Hey, guys," Catherine greeted.

"Hey, Cath, Griss," Nick replied. "What's on for tonight?"

"The good news is we have a light night. The bad news is we have two more dead teenagers," Gil informed them.

"Son of a bitch!" Nick swore, hitting the desk in frustration.

"Settle down, Nick," Grissom warned.

"How can you be so calm about this now?" Nick asked. "You were as mad as hell last night."

"I still am mad," Gil assured them. "But it won't help anyone if I'm blinded by that anger."

"You rode the rollercoaster earlier, didn't you?" Warrick theorized.

"I can assure you that I didn't ride anything," Gil replied.

Catherine snorted, she just couldn't help it. Though, she guessed he wasn't lying. After all, she'd been doing the riding earlier. She tried to cover it up with a cough, but she knew that no one bought it.

"Aww man, that was not a mental image I needed," Nick groused, and walked out of the room, shaking his head.

Catherine's cough turned into a giggle when Warrick followed, muttering something about it being as bad as his parents talking about sex. Sarah wasn't that far behind, looking a little green around the gills. Her giggles turned into full-fledged laughs as she saw her lover's ears had tinged red and he looked rather embarrassed.

"You realize you've probably scarred them for life," he told her, shaking his head.

"What, did they think that all we do is hold hands and kiss?" she asked, amused.

"Well we have been pretty good about keeping away from work," he told her.

"Except that one time on your desk, which was all your fault," she pointed out.

"How was it my fault? You were the one that told me you weren't wearing any underwear and then you proceeded to jump me in my chair. Do you know how long it took me to be able to work in there without getting an erection from the memories?"

She laughed and leaned in to kiss him quickly. "Come on, Grissom. Let's go catch us a bad guy."

"Gladly," he agreed, and they walked out of the room to find their team.

THE END

Feedback?