CATEGORY: Aeryn/John, POV, vignette

STATUS: Complete

RATING: PG

SPOILERS: Dog With Two Bones, Look at the Princess

SUMMARY: Aeryn contemplates the changes in her life

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters and places are the property of Jim Henson Entertainment and the Nine Network Australia. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

AUTHORS NOTES: I've only seen up to the end of season 3. I guess you could say this is how I'd like to see it resolved. I've remained pretty much spoiler free, so don't expect any correlations with the fourth season. Oh and I should point out that this is my first Farscape fic.

FEEDBACK: Yes Please! I love to know what you think.

Copyright � Jez, December 2024.

Pregnancy. It�s such a strange concept. I�d never really thought about it before. Sure, Moya had been pregnant with Talyn, but a pregnant Leviathan is slightly different to a pregnant Sebacean. Especially when that Sebacean is me.

It certainly wasn�t something we�d planned. It was reckless of us to get so caught up in our newfound emotions that we didn't think of the consequences, but it�s happened and - after what happened to him - I can�t say I regret it. It was hard when I first returned to Moya, trying to reconcile the fact that I had watched John die but there he was in front of me, safe and alive but not having shared the most amazing time of my life with me. It took me a while to realize that he was still John and that I couldn�t ignore him; I couldn�t stop myself from loving him.

Oh, I tried, especially after I discovered I was pregnant. I left Moya, left John. But he came to me, begged me not to stop him from knowing another child and I found that I just couldn�t refuse him. Truth be told I think I realized that I needed him. Needed him in my life; needed him to be there for me and my child. So we returned to Moya and here we still are.

It took us a while to get past the awkwardness but things are better now. More and more I find myself thinking of my time with the other John as another life. I don�t want to forget him, but I need to live in the now and this is the only way I know how to do so. They are identical; their bodies, their mannerisms. They smell the same, taste the same, make love in the same way. This is my John just as much as the other was.

Making love. It�s one of the few Earth terms that I really like. So much better than recreating, but then recreating was never about feelings. Making love is. John and I make love and it is the most incredible thing I�ve ever experienced.

It�s amazing to think I have a new life growing inside me. Amazing and terrifying. Soon, I�ll be responsible for a whole other being. I�ll have to care for them and teach them right from wrong. I don�t have a point of reference; no childhood from which to shape my own actions. I grew up a Peacekeeper and the only thing that has taught me is that I won�t allow my child to do the same.

I�ve started asking John to tell me stories from his childhood, wanting to hear what it was like to grow up in a family; to grow up being loved. I want my child to know they are loved. It�s not that I�m going to have to learn to love him or her, I love them already. But I still find it hard to express my love to John sometimes and I�m going to have to learn to show my love to my child. John thinks I�m being too hard on myself and I�m going to be a great mother. I�m not so sure. What if I end up like my own mother?

John. He�s been both wonderful and frustrating at the same time. When I agreed to go back to Moya with him, to let him back into my life, he actually wept. He took me in his arms and vowed to love and protect us both. I know he considers this child to be his and I�m glad. In every way that matters it is his baby as much as it is mine. He�s been very attentive which I found quite endearing at first, but can be so frelling annoying when I�m trying to get something done. He seems to think that I should be doing nothing but eating and resting. I�m not ill. I�m perfectly capable of doing all of my duties on Moya. Well, those that don�t require my squeezing into small spaces anyway.

You see, I have this stomach. So what, you might say. Doesn't everyone have a stomach? Well, yes, but mine seems to have taken on a life of its own and grown to an enormous size. I look hideous and feel awkward. John loves it. I often wake to find he�s pulled the blanket down and is looking at my stomach. He loves touching it, especially now the baby has started moving within me. He even talks to it. Whenever I question his behavior - or more precisely his sanity - he always says he is bonding with the baby and some Earth doctor called Spock says it's important. I think he may be fahrbot, but I love him anyway.

"Hey, baby," a familiar voice greets me. "What are you doing?"

I smile as he sits beside me and automatically pulls me into his arms. "Just thinking," I tell him honestly.

"What about?" he asks, his hand immediately gravitating to my stomach.

I sigh as the baby kicks. I swear it knows when John is near and is always active when he is around. "You, me, the baby," I answer.

"Were they good thoughts?" he asks.

"Uh huh," I murmur, as he starts kissing my neck. "And getting better by the microt."

He chuckles against my skin, which causes me to shiver. "Are you sure you're still allowed to do that stuff?" he asks.

I never get time to answer as D'Argo strides into the room. "Ugh," he growls. "Will the two of you *please* do that elsewhere?"

John just chuckles and gets to his feet. "What's up, D'Argo?"

"We've just arrived at the commerce planet. I believe you mentioned something about supplies?"

"I did," John agrees, turning to grin at me. "What are you craving this week, baby?"

He helps me to my feet and throws an arm around my shoulders as I launch into a detailed description of what my body requires. By the time we make it to the transport hanger, they both look rather ill. "What?" I ask innocently.

John just shakes his head. "Nothing. Catch ya when we get back."

"Be careful," I call, as he heads into the transport ship.

"Always!" he calls back, making me snort in disbelief.

I head back toward my room once they've gone, smiling slightly as the baby moves. If anyone had told me a cycle ago that this is what my life would be like, I would have thought them fahrbot. But now, I don't think I could imagine it being any other way.

THE END