I thought she knew

by Clara

This idea came to me while listening to *Nsyncs song I thought she knew. (The words are at the end) For Mel and Cassie. No one mentioned in this story are mine. This starts on re election night. and switches  between Josh and Donnas POV. For the sake of this story Sam and Josh's offices are near each others.

*****

I did something stupid last night. When I found out we’d lost re election I shouted at Donna and I mean really shouted. I don’t think she’s gonna be back tomorrow. Sam says I’m being ridiculous but I know that this time I really crossed the line.

You know, I wouldn’t blame her if she doesn’t come back I wouldn’t have put up with me all these years if I were her. The worst thing thought won’t be that I won’t have her by my side for these last few weeks before we yield the White House to the Republicans. The worst will be that I can’t tell her how I feel. I’ve always loved her, It’s just typical that it would take losing her to realize I should have realized after the shooting.

I’m just gonna pray I’m wrong and she’ll be there tomorrow.

***

I’m sat in my apartment with a tub of tripe fudge mint chip ice cream and a spoon in my hand and tears running down my face. I’m so glad that Katie’s working tonight, I don’t think I could handle another lecture about how I need to get over my boss.

In the end that’s what it all comes down to though isn’t it? I tried to be his friend tonight but at the end of it all, all he sees me as is his assistant and that hurts you know? We’ve been though so much but that doesn’t change that this thing I’m feeling is totally one sided. He’ll never feel the way I do and that’s the worst thing of all.

***

I didn’t get any sleep last night. I just wanted to get here and see whether Donna will show up. CJ’s gonna kill me if she doesn’t show so I should probably find somewhere to hide now. I take a breath and walk round the corner where Donnas desk will come into view…It’s empty. There’s nothing there she’s left me.

I can’t breath and I walk into my office quickly so no one will see the tears that I know are coming. I just make it to my chair before they start to fall. How could I have been so dumb? She’s everything to me…And she’ll never know.

***

Josh walks round the corner and I duck into Sams office and wait for him to go into his office. He looks crushed but I shake my head and tell myself that it doesn’t matter I know what I have to do.

“Donna?” I whirl around and see Sam staring at the box in my hands. He slowly stands up and takes the box from me before wrapping his arms around me as I start to cry. “Where are you gonna go?” He doesn’t even try to talk me out of leaving and I try to keep my voice steady as I tell him.

“Back to Wisconsin. I’m going to go back to school.” 

“He loves you, you know that right?” I shake my head and pick up the box again.

“It’s too late. He said too much last night. It’s over.” He looks nearly as bad as Josh did a minute ago but he knows when not to argue.

“Call me when you get there ok?” I nod and make him promise not to tell anyone where I am for at lease three hours and hug him one last time before leaving the White house an not looking back. ‘Cause it really is over. It has to be.

THE END.

*That was a lot more angst ridden that it was supposed to be*

She was my once in a lifetime,

Happy ending come true.

Oh I guess I should have told her,

I thought she knew.

She said I took her for granted,

It’s the last thing I would do.

Oh I’ll never understand it,

I thought she knew.

I thought she knew my world revolved around her.

My love light burned for her alone.

But she couldn’t see the flame,

Only myself to blame.

I should have known.

I should have known.

A heart full of words left unspoken.

Know that we’re though.

I tell my soul to leave the silence unbroken

I thought she knew.

I thought she knew my world revolved around her.

My love light burned for her alone.

But she couldn’t see the flame,

Only myself to blame.

I should have known.

I should have known.

She was my once in a lifetime,

Happy ending come true.

Oh I guess I should have told her,

I thought she knew.

I thought she knew.

I thought she knew

I thought she knew

I thought that she knew.