I can't make you love me

By Clara

Summary: ~Here in the dark, in these final hours...~
Disclaimer: They're not mine
Archive: Working Love, IB, Catherine Willows, Graveyard, My site.
Rating: PG-13

Do you know what it's like to hold a man in your arms, make love to him, touch him and know that it's not you he feels?

Even as his hands run over my skin I know it's not really me he's touching and it's killing us. He thinks I don't know that it's her he dreams of and I've tried so hard to pretend that it's my name on his lips. But one of us has got to be strong and end this deadlock.

He thinks he has no chance with her, but I know it's not true, I've seen her looking at us, hurt evident in her eyes that I'm the one he's with.

I don't doubt for a second that he never meant to cause this. He needed someone and I was there and I've felt something for him for so long it just felt natural to be with him... God I wish I'd realised before. I could have saved us all so much heartache, stopped everything from becoming so fucked up.

I sigh and our eyes lock. He pulls back slightly and I know he senses something is wrong, so I shake my head and cover my sadness with a smile as he leans down to kiss me again.

I need tonight, tomorrow is going to be hard and I know I'm verging on selfish, but I need him here with me for one more night and I deserve at least that much. Tomorrow I'm going to push him in her direction and pretend it's not breaking my heart to do it. I've got to do the right thing though and I know this is it, I can't think of anything that could change my mind on this.

We been through so much together and it's not all been bad, but it's time to let go. I need a man who sees me when he looks at me and that's not Gil, I doubt it ever was after that first night.

His eyes screw shut, he calls out 'Catherine' and for the first time it doesn't hurt right down to my soul, tonight it just reaffirms all I have to do. I have to move on and so do they.

~Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't~