Low
By Clara
Summary: He doesn’t want me.
Disclaimer: They’re not mine
Rating: PG
Category: C/G, S/G, S/N, C/W friendship
Authors notes: Another one of those real life inspired fics.
Dedication: Jen and LauraJo. You’ve no idea how much you helped that night!
Thanks to Angie for the beta.
***
There’s this feeling of helplessness mixed with heartache as I watch them
together.
I can’t remember who’s idea it was for the shift to go out together on our off
night, but I wish to god I’d made up some excuse about being busy. Then I
wouldn’t have had to put myself through this torture.
They’ve been talking between themselves for a good hour now. Heads bent close
together and the occasional chuckle floats over… I’d say I feel like a third
wheel but Warrick, Greg and Nick are here too, so the analogy falls flat.
Nick is looking almost as upset as I’m feeling… I wonder if he feels as big a
fool.
I don’t know how I didn’t see this coming. It all seems so obvious now; all the
little smiles and laughs I’ve seen them share. I’d always interpreted it as
being a student and teacher relationship… I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I don’t doubt that he never meant to hurt me. He’s just not that sort of person.
He’s probably not even aware of how I feel, although I’m guessing from the looks
Warrick and Greg are shooting me, it’s obvious to everyone else.
“Catherine?”
I attempt to smile at Warrick as he leans across the table towards me. “Want to
dance?”
I almost say no, but then I catch sight of the happy couple again and I don’t
think I can go back to staring at them. So I nod, smile and let him take my hand
and lead me towards the dance floor.
“How you doing, Cath?” He asks as his arms wrap around me and I bury my head in
his shoulder. There’s a possibility that the 3 screwdrivers are beginning to
have an effect on me.
“I’m… hurt.” Warrick seems to bring the truth out of me. I don’t think I’ve ever
been able to lie or hold back when he’s around. I feel rather than see him sigh
and I chock back tears. “He doesn’t want me Warrick.”
He hugs me tighter and stays silent. He knows better than to try and deny what’s
going on back at our table. I’m almost afraid to turn around in case things have
moved up a notch.
I sigh and try to get my feelings under control. Whatever happens I’m going to
have to work with them, I can’t go through this every time I see them together,
it’ll destroy me if I do.
Warrick pulls back and studies my face, I breathe out and shrug as I answer his
silent question. “I’ll be okay…. I have to be.”
He smiles and kisses me on the forehead before leading me back to the table.
It’s times like this when I wish I’d fallen for him instead of Gil. Everything
would have been so much easier.
Back at the table Sara is now having a lively discussion with Greg while Gil and
Nick look on, I try not to read anything into the slight smile on Gil’s face as
he watches her. His eyes turn to me as Warrick and I rejoin the table.
“Everything alright?”
“It will be.” He looks puzzled before smiling at me, despite having no real idea
of what’s just happened. But it really will be okay… It has to be.