Just about now

By Clara

Disclaimer: They’re not mine

Info: 10^th part of 20.

Year: 1999

Archive: My site, Working Love, ShipperWorld, Catherine Willows, Graveshift

Rating: PG

Category: CGR

Author’s notes: This started as answer to a challenge over at ‘Working Love’ and some how it turned into this! Thanks to Jo for the beta! None of the fics in this series will have a summary on them. I don’t want to give it away!!!

Dedication: To the wonderful Jo R. What would I do without ya? ;)

Like nearly 10 years before when she had turned up at his home having broken up with Eric, he should have been surprised that he was the one she had come to, but he wasn’t.

He opened the door and let her in, Lindsey fast asleep on her shoulder. Silently, he took the little girl and placed her sleeping form in his bed, planning to let Catherine have the spare room, while he slept on the couch.

Walking back into the lounge, he saw Catherine sat with her head in her hands, tears streaming down her face. He sat down next to her and stared at his own hands, not entirely sure what to say or do. He settled for placing a hand on her shoulder, knowing that she would talk when she was ready.

They sat like that until Catherine’s sobs had subsided and she was once again in control. She leaned back and somehow he found himself sitting with his arm around her, Catherine’s head on his shoulder.

“He was cheating on me.”

Gil nodded and pulled her tighter against him. “I know.”

She lifted her head of his shoulder and looked at him, “How?”

He sighed and looked away, the guilt evident on his face. “I saw him. He told me he was going to tell you himself and asked that I didn’t say anything until he hadn’t.”

He risked a glance back at her and was surprised to see understanding rather than anger on her face. He wondered then how she’d feel in the morning, if the fact that he’d known and not told her would have sunk in by then, he didn’t think it had yet considering the way she had dodged the issue.

 “The first time, I thought it would be better for Lins if I stayed and acted like nothing was wrong, but he’s staying out more and says he loves this one.”

The first time? This was news to him. Gil had been under the impression this was the first time and he wondered why she hadn’t told him. 

“Why did you marry him?” He glanced down at her head where it had found its way back to his shoulder and watched as her body stiffened at his question. He hoped he hadn’t crossed the line but he’d always wondered.

Eddie had never seemed like a good man to him. Too many late nights spent drunk and too many bruises on Catherine’s skin that she’d hadn’t been able to explain away.

“I was pregnant and I wanted my baby to have a family.” She shrugged then before continuing, “I didn’t know how he’d become.”

She looked up at him and the back at her hands. “You know, I wish you had told me. I would have been ready for him then.” There was still no anger in her voice and Gil felt himself growing angry in her place, at both himself and Eddie.

“I didn’t want you to blame me for telling you. I thought it would be better for him to tell you and to be here for you when he did.”  He lifted her chin with his hand then and forced her to look at him, “I am sorry Cath.”

She nodded and smiled slightly before letting her eyes drift closed as he let go of her chin. She tried to relax and forget for a moment about all that had just happened.

Suddenly her eyes snapped open and she was overwhelmed by panic at the reality that she was about to divorce her husband and the number of things that had to be sorted out.

Catherine tried to breath and calm herself down while Gil rubbed her back and made soothing noises. Then she was crying again and wasn’t aware of what he was doing anymore.

When the next round of tears had stopped, Gil pulled her towards the guestroom like he had before, only this time she didn’t let him leave the room and uttered simply “I don’t want to be alone.”

Gil nodded and lay down next to her, eventually managing to shift them into a comfortable sleeping position on the narrow bed. After a while he heard Catherine’s breathing even out, signalling that she had fallen asleep. He lay awake for awhile longer before joining her in sleep.

As he drifted off, he couldn’t help but think what the next few months were going to be like for Catherine and Lindsey and he would do anything to help them.

~And it’s just about now, that the tears start to fall. I wonder if I’m gonna make it at all ~

Just about now- Faith Hill