To break me

By Amanda Hawthorn

RATING: PG-13

PAIRING: Grissom/Sara eventual romance    

CATEGORY: Angst/ romance

ARCHIVE: Sara and Grissom and my site

FEEDBACK: Love it, but no flames please I’m fragile!!

EMAIL: [email protected]

SUMMARY: The gap between Sara and Grissom widens when Griss becomes involved with another woman

DISCLAIMER: CSI belongs to CBS and Alliance-Atlantis Productions. No
infringement intended.
AUTHORS’ NOTES: Ok, this has been sat in my files for a while, so thought you’d like to read it

 *** 

The restaurant was unusually empty tonight as Sara sat at her table. She smiled up at Hank as he sat down opposite her.

“ So what did you want to do tonight?” he asked, his eyes scanning over the menu.

His words filled her with unknown emotions. She only felt friendship for him didn’t she? Her heart already belonged to another man, and no amount of denying it would help anymore. She was in love with her boss, friend, co-worker, call it what you will, but he held her heart all the same.. Even now, after him placing a distance between them, widening the gap of their friendship, she still loved him. Maybe he didn’t care for her, she mused, but her heart still craved him, still wanted him.

Her eyes danced over the words on the menu sheet, her heart fluttering at the thought of the man she loved. How she would love to be able to touch him, run her fingers through his hair, kiss his lips.

“ Hey Sara,” Hank asked again “did you hear what I said?”

His words brought her out of her daydream, as she lifted her eyes from the menu to his face, her heart sinking at the fondness in his eyes.

“ Yeah, sorry I was, um…” replacing the menu back on the table she looked at him, trying to find some tiny place in her heart some of the affection he had shown her, but it wasn’t there, no matter how hard she tried to find it.

“ I was going to just go home and get some sleep actually,” she told him averting her eyes.

Hank regarded her for a long moment, disappointment in his eyes “ I thought you’d like to go to a club or something, but if you’d rather go home, then.”

“ Hank,” she sighed, her eyes bathed in frustration “I..” Her voice trailed off as she spotted a familiar man enter the restaurant. He still managed to stop her heart by being in the same room as her. He commanded attention by his presence alone and she had come to memorize every part of him with perfect clarity. Her heart began to race as she saw his eyes meet hers, igniting her body into a frenzied flame. She loved this man with every ounce of her being. His eyes left her face to the man who sat opposite her, and she suddenly found herself wishing Hank would just disappear into thin air, anything to stop the accusation in Grissom’s eyes.

“ It’s not what you think,” her mind screamed silently, as she continued to watch him, crying out a strangled gasp as he averted his eyes. Her heart sank as she watched him sit down at a table near the entrance of the restaurant. Seeing him sat alone, her heart ached for him; she so wanted to be the one who shared his personal space, who he chatted to over a simple meal. She hoped that they could someday regain the trust they once had, that he would be able to look into her eyes and smile like he used to. The emptiness engulfed her heart as her eyes turned back to Hank who had resumed his staring at the menu.

“ Hank, I’ll be right back I’m going to the bathroom,” she stood up not waiting for an answer as she made her way towards the bathroom, which incidentally took her into the path of Grissom’s table.

As she approached, his eyes lifted to her face, a slight smile dancing on his lips “ Hello Sara.”

“ Hey Griss,” she smiled, her heart growing weak “ Um I didn’t know you came here.”

“ Well I don’t usually,” he told her, his eyes watching her intently “ I’m actually meeting someone.”

Sara’s heart exploded at his words, the scattered pieces sinking to the pit of her stomach. He had a date?

  “ Oh,” she managed, her voice trembling.

“ And you?” he asked looking behind her “ Your date seems to be impatient.” She followed his eyes to Hank who was sat at the table watching them talking, his expression unreadable.

“ He’s not my date,” she told him quickly, her eyes darting back to his face, begging him to believe her “ we just go out occasionally that’s all.”

“ Well isn’t that a date?” he asked her intently, his blue eyes trying to see into her soul.

“ Well maybe, but not a date date, this is just a friends going out having fun thing. What about you?” she asked, the words catching in her throat almost choking her voice

“ Same as you,” he smiled “ friends out having fun.”

“ Oh,” she nodded, gulping down the lump in her throat. She couldn’t help feeling his betrayal hit her heart, scattering it into a thousand pieces. She had always thought they had a connection, that some day they would find a way to admit their feelings, but now?

“ I should leave you to it then,” she told him, trying to hide the sadness in her voice “ I’ll see you at work.”

“ Ok,” he nodded, watching her retreat towards the bathroom, disappointment lingering in his eyes. He silently wished she had stayed with him for just a few seconds more. She may have moved on with her life unable to wait for him any longer, but he still wished he could bridge the growing gap between them to find a little of the friendship they once had.

A soft voice brought him out of his musings, making him turn his head towards the woman beside his table “ Gil.”

His eyes turned to her face, smiling into her eyes as he stood up to place a kiss on her cheek “ Caroline, you look breathtaking as always.”

“ Why thank you,” she smiled as she sat in the seat opposite him, reaching for his hand in a gentle caress.

“ Have you been waiting long?” she asked him, her eyes linking into his.

“ No,” he told her, dropping his eyes down to their joined hands, “ not long,” he felt his mouth grow dry. He really liked Caroline; she had a way of making him forget the every day occurrence of work. She seemed to care for him too, which is what he really wanted. His eyes wandered over to the man sat at Sara’s table again, feeling her loss so intently. They’d had an unspoken agreement between them that maybe some day they would tear down the barriers between them, but then he’d met Caroline, and things went on from there. He thought Sara would be happy he had moved on from her, releasing her into the life she craved. Pulling his eyes away he turned back to the slender dark haired woman seated opposite him “ What do you say we order?”

“ Sounds good to me,” she smiled, drawing her hand away to pick up the menu.

Sara came out of the bathroom feeling like she had been hit by a truck, she couldn’t believe out of all the restaurants in Vegas, he had to come to the same one as hers. As she came around the corner, she stopped dead in her tracks. Griss was not alone anymore, and as her eyes scanned over the beautiful woman who now held Griss’s heart, she felt her heart shatter, it was over.

 

Taking a deep breath, Sara held her head up high and tried to move as quickly as she could past their table without completely falling apart. Scanning the tables, she decided to take a different route back to her own, anything to avoid watching Grissom and his date conversing in romantic gestures. She kept her eyes averted from the woman who chatted happily to Grissom, trying desperately to keep control of her raging emotions.

As she passed by, she couldn’t help but notice how beautiful this woman was. She felt her body start to shake slightly, hoping that no one would notice how pale her face had become.

Hank smiled up at her as she sat down again “ Hey, I thought you’d ran out on me.”

Sara forced a strained smile in his direction, suddenly losing her appetite. She knew if she made her move to leave now then everything would become too obvious, and her shattered heart would be exposed for everyone to see.

“ Sorry,” she muttered, not meeting his eyes. He watched her for a long moment before he spoke again “ So your boss has a date, how weird is that?”

“ Hank,” she pleaded silently “ can we not discuss Grissom please, we came here to eat ok, let’s just eat and get out of here.”

“ Sure,” he smiled, his hand reaching out to take her hand.

At the contact of his hand on hers, Sara looked up sharply, snatching her hand away angrily “ What are you doing?”

“ Well I was trying to touch you Sara, gee, I thought this is what you wanted.” Hank stared at her, confusion in his eyes. She had suddenly turned very pale and held onto her hand as if his touch had burned her skin.

“What I wanted?” she hissed in a whisper through her teeth, anger flaring in her eyes “ how the hell do you know what I want?”

“Well I don’t know Sara,” he answered, his anger matching hers “ why don’t you tell me?”

Standing quickly, she pushed back her chair so stare down at his surprised face “ I wanted to be friends, that’s all. I made that clear to you, but no, you had to go and spoil it with your romantic notions that I could possibly fall in love with you.” She grabbed her coat angrily and stormed away towards the door, averting her eyes from Grissom, who had witnessed the whole scene.

Caroline looked up at him when he suddenly stopped talking, turning her head to catch a glimpse of Sara’s back as she rushed out of the restaurant.

“ That poor man,” she sighed, looking over to Hank’s hunched body “ well if you ask me he’s better off without her. He’s a handsome young man and well she was a little plain don’t you think?”

Grissom felt anger welling in his eyes as he turned on her “ Plain? How can you even say that? She is beautiful; it’s him that is the problem. She’s too good for him. Now if you don’t mind I’d like to get back to why we are here in the first place, ok?”

“ Ok,” she nodded; trying not to notice the angry glares he was sending towards the young man at the table.

 

Sara stomped angrily towards the car park; she absolutely hated all men right now. “ What an asshole,” she seethed, as she pulled her keys out of her pocket. She was so busy trying to calm her tattered emotions that she didn’t hear the footsteps behind her until someone tapped her on the arm.

Whirling around so fast, she almost knocked Warrick to the ground “ Warrick, dammit don’t do that ever again you hear me?” She yelled angrily, her eyes filling with tears “ oh god,” she gasped, moving her hands up to cover her eyes.

“ Hey it’s ok?” His voice at once filled with concern at seeing her distress. Stepping forward he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace “What happened? Is it Hank? Did that bastard hurt you? I swear if he’s touched you, I’ll..”

“No,” she sniffed into his chest “ I just dumped him. He tried to hold my hand.”

Warrick tried to hold back the chuckle building up in his chest as he held her, but it came out anyway “ I’m sorry,” he grinned when she started to pull away.

“ You think it’s funny?” She stared at him incredulously, his laughter only fuelling the anger in her eyes “ I don’t see what’s so amusing.” Turning from him angrily, she moved to her car door again “ All you men, you, Griss, Hank, you’re all the damn same.”

“ Hey I’m sorry ok,” he moved closer to her again reaching out to clasp her arm gently “ come on Sara. Don’t go away mad.”

 

The first thought that crossed Sara’s mind was to turn around and land a punch on his chin and knock him on his ass, but she pushed that thought away, swallowing the angry lump that had formed in her throat. Turning slowly to face him, her eyes ground into his, the anger still present, flaming with fire “ What are you dong here Warrick?” she said at last, fury seeping into her words“ is it common knowledge now? Poor Sara out on a date lets all go and watch her make a total idiot of herself, well is it?”

“ It’s not like that,” Warrick replied, slightly stunned by her aggression. He was unaccustomed to seeing her eyes so angry, and if he was honest, she was very scary when she was provoked “ look Sara,” he soothed, trying to calm her down “ I was just passing and saw you that’s all.”

“ Bullshit,” she spat angrily “that’s a lie and you know it.” Yanking her arm from his grasp she turned away, anger soaring through her body “Is that why Griss came into the same restaurant tonight with his ‘date’, just to spy on me?”

“What?” he asked confusion in his voice, what was she talking about “ Griss? On a date, really, why that sly old dog, he didn’t say anything.”

Her hand stilled at his words, fear all at once creeping into her heart. The woman she had seen him with was for real? She felt the nausea building in her stomach as the truth hit her like a sledgehammer.

“ I guess he was there for real,” she told him sadly, her voice no more than a whisper. She suddenly felt defeated and alone, he had moved on without her, left her because she had tried to find some comfort with another man, and now she’d lost them both. Moving towards her car again, she swallowed the tears threatening to emerge from her eyes “ I’m sorry I yelled at you ok,” Opening her door, she climbed in behind the wheel, needing the safe sanctuary of her car

“ Sara,” he spoke softly, his hand catching her arm before she closed the door “ it’s only a date, it doesn’t mean he’s going to and marry her.”

Drawing in a shaky breath, she closed her eyes before speaking “ You didn’t see her Warrick, she’s beautiful, what chance do I stand against that? I mean look at me,” she threw up her arms, flowing them over her body in despair.

Warrick stared at her for a long moment, knowing what had caused her so much pain. Griss was dating and it cut deeply into Sara’s heart. Reaching out again, he stilled her trembling hands, how could she think she wasn’t even remotely attractive, hell, she raised Greg’s pulse rate every time she walked by him. “ Sara, you are a beautiful desirable woman,” he told her, urging her forward to look in his eyes “ Griss adores you.”

“ No he doesn’t,” she shook her head sadly, feeling a tear escape her eyes to roll down her face “ I betrayed him and he’ll never forgive me for it.”

“ Sara?”

“ Warrick I have to go ok?” she moved a hand to swipe the tears away before looking back into his worried face “ I’ll see you at work.”

“ Hey, you need some company?” he asked hopefully “ we can grab a few beers, hang out for a while?”

Sara bit down on her bottom lip, trying to hold back her already cracking emotions “ I need to be alone for a while ok?”

“ At least let me drive you home?”

“ I’ll be fine, I promise, I just need to deal with this one my own ok,” she turned her eyes to his, the tears threatening to spill already breaking free to roll down her cheek “ Please Warrick.”

Stepping back so she could close the door, he watched her as she turned the key in the engine and silently cursed both Grissom and Hank for causing her so much pain. She needed support, even if she denied the fact, so reaching into his pocket he pulled out his cell phone, pressed the speed dial and placed it to his ear. He waited for a few seconds for the other person to answer, “ Hey Nick, Sara’s on her way home, she’s upset.”

“ What happened?” The worry in Nicks voice was obvious.

“ Griss turned up at the same restaurant with his date, and you can guess how Sara feels.”

“ Oh man,” he sighed “ Ok I’ll head over to her place and talk to her, thanks man.”

“ Hey no problem, and reassure her she’s not a plain Jane will ya, she’s having doubts,” he didn’t wait for the reply before he pressed off his phone and returned it to his pocket. Sighing heavily, he made his way back to where he had parked his car, the uneasy feeling that this was only the beginning of Sara’s problems eating away at his heart.

 

Back in the restaurant, Grissom poked at his meal with his fork. He couldn’t shake the hurt in Sara’s eyes from his mind. He’d at least expected some sort of relief from her that he at last put her behind him, even though his heart screamed out at him that he should never have let her go. His eyes kept wandering back over to the table where Hank still sat. He cursed him silently, his anger rising in his chest, almost choking him. What had he said to Sara to make her run out like that? He was so preoccupied that he almost didn’t hear Caroline talking to him until she reached out a hand to his “ Gil?”

“ What?” he gasped, snatching his hand away before apologizing “ I’m sorry,” he lied “ you startled me.”

“ You were having some deep thoughts there for a while,” she smiled, reaching out to his hand again “ you seem distracted tonight.”

“ I’m fine,” he told her, hoping she wouldn’t see through his lies.

 “ Well if there’s anything bothering you,” she smiled again, ignoring his mood “ you can tell me about it.”

Grissom felt himself deflate as he turned his eyes to her, she was beautiful yes, and she was funny and smart, but she was no Sara. He looked into her eyes, feeling the deceit in his heart, he resented her for being the one trying to change his life, “ I am not one of your patients Caroline, don’t psycho analyze me.”

“ I’m not Gil,” she told him, withdrawing her hand slowly “ I just want you to be able to open up with me that’s all.”

He opened his mouth to answer when he noticed Hank stand up shakily to make his way to the bathroom. Grissom followed him with his eyes, sudden jealousy flaring in his heart as he passed their table.

“ Excuse me,” he told her before standing up to walk towards the bathroom. He moved so fast that he didn’t see the look of sadness that appeared on Caroline’s face. She had the feeling that whatever this was between them would die before it had even had a chance to grow. She looked down at the remaining food on her plate and pushed it away she had suddenly lost her appetite. .

Grissom walked into the bathroom, creaking the door closed behind him. The lights inside were dimly lit, highlighting the shadowy figure of Hank standing at the basins staring into the mirror, with drunken blood shot eyes.

As Grissom approached, Hank looked up to see his face in the mirror “ And now I know why Sara left in such a hurry,” he slurred, his eyes fixed on Grissom’s face.

“ What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Grissom asked, anger flaring in his eyes.

“ There’s always been three people in my relationship with Sara,” he spat turning around to face him “ Sara, me and you.”

“ I don’t know what you’re talking about Hank,” Grissom’s jaw twitched in anger “ I swear to you if you’ve hurt her..”

“ You’ll what?” he laughed drunkenly, “ Kill me? Oh come on, please.” Hank looked Grissom up and down with disgust, then turned to make his way towards the door, but Grissom grabbed hold of his arm to pull him back, ramming him against the wall, his face masked with unmistakable fury. “ I swear to you now,” he seethed, his voice a low warning “ you ever hurt her I will make your life so miserable you will be begging me to kill you, do I make myself clear?” When Hank didn’t answer, Grissom pushed him further into the wall, anger blazing in his eyes.

“ Ok, Ok,” Hank, moaned, “ you’ve made your point.”

Grissom satisfied with his answer moved away from him, letting him make his hasty escape from the room. He watched the closed door for a few moments trying to calm the anger in his body. What the hell had just happened, he wondered. In all his life he had never felt such fury. Moving over to the basins, he poured some cold water into his hand before splashing it over his face, trying to calm his pulse rate to anything resembling normal. He needed to have a good long think about his life, and he knew Sara had a lot to do with it. Drying his face, he made his way slowly to the door and back out to the woman at his table. He had barely had time to catch his breath before she spoke“ Did you see that man in the bathroom?” she asked “ the one who had words with his girlfriend?”

“ Yeah why?” he asked as he sat down, his eyes roaming over to where Hank had been. The chair was vacant, no sign of him anywhere.

“ Poor man just rushed right out of the door, almost knocked someone over. He must be pretty upset don’t you think?” She looked up into his face, trying to read the expression on his face.

“ Yeah,” he agreed, averting his gaze so she couldn’t see the traces of anger still lingering in his eyes. Wordlessly, he turned back towards her, trying to act normal again, ignoring his heart still carrying the nagging doubt that this wasn’t over.

 

Sara pulled up outside her apartment, her face wet with tears. She’d been driving around in circles for hours, unwilling to admit defeat and return home to her lonely apartment. She felt so alone right now; she’d lost not only Grissom but Hank too. What a loser, she thought to herself, feeling the despair seep into her body sinking her into depression. Climbing out of the car, she slammed the door behind her.

The heels on her boots clicked on the path as she made her way to her door. She pulled her keys out of her pocket with a loud jangle the metal keys glinting in the night air. She was about to put the key in the lock when Nicky came out of the darkness, making her scream with surprise “ Nicky,” she yelled, slapping him hard across the arm, “ you scared the hell out of me, don’t ever do that again.”

“ Hey sorry,” he grinned, holding up his hands as he backing away.

“ What are you doing here anyway?” she asked him as she moved to open the door “this isn’t exactly your neighbourhood.”

“ I just came by to see you,” he grinned, “that’s not a crime is it?”

Turning her eyes to his face, she nodded sadly “ Warrick just couldn’t stay out of it could he?”

“ Oh come on Sar, he’s worried about you, so am I,” he moved closer to lay a hand on her shoulder “ please Sar, let me help?”

 The warmth of his hand on her cool skin burned into her shoulder, her body drinking in his heat greedily. He had this annoying knack of making her feel better even when she felt like wallowing in self-pity for a little longer. She couldn’t stay mad at him and he knew it “ Come in,” she told him “ as you’re already here..”

Nicky looked down at her and grinned happily “ I promise I’ll be out of your hair the second you throw me out ok?”

“ I doubt that,” she smiled back at him as she opened the door for him to enter.

Smacking his hands to his heart in mock pain, he cried out in despair, the laughter dancing in his voice “ You wound me Sara, that hurt.”

“ Keep that up Nicky and I promise you the pain will be real,” she told him, unable to keep the smile off her face. Maybe she did need someone, she mused, and she was glad he was the one who was here, he’d help her, she knew he would. Pushing him inside, she closed the door behind them.

Through their laughter, neither of them had noticed a drunken figure lurking in the shadows, watching. Hank took another long swig from the bottle of whisky in his hands and made his way towards the door. He’d show her, he seethed, she can’t just leave him to look like a complete idiot and get away with it.

 

“ Hey Sar,” Nick called out from the kitchen “ Beer or coffee?”

“ Beer,” came her muffled voice from the bathroom “, lot’s of it.”

Opening her fridge, he smiled at the cans stacked neatly on the bottom shelf. This looked so familiar, he mused. Pulling out two cans he made his way back into the living room and sat down on her couch “ Are you sure we’re not related?” he called out jokingly “you know we’re frighteningly alike.”

The bathroom door opened and she stepped out wearing a baggy t-shirt and jeans. She smiled as she took the offered can, opening it with a loud pop, the beer fizzing over the side of the can.

“ Well you never know,” she grinned as she downed a long drink from the can.

Nick watched as she settled into the couch beside him, her body gravitating towards his as she laid her head on his shoulder. When she had stopped fidgeting, he moved his head to lie gently on hers “ You wanna tell me what’s up?”

“ Men,” she sighed sadly “ I’m so tired of em.” Taking another swig from her can, she smiled softly “present company excluded of course.”

“ Gee thanks,” he grinned, moving a hand to cover hers on his knee “ what’s really wrong Sar?”

“ I dumped Hank,” she sighed, “ did Warrick tell you?”

“ Well yeah, but not much, he just said you’d dumped him and that you’d seen Griss out on a date.” At the mention of Grissom’s name she seemed to quieten even more, and it wasn’t until he felt the slight tremble of her body next to his that he realized she was crying.

“ Oh Sar,” he gasped as he took her can from her hands and placed it on the floor next to his. Turning, he pulled her into his arms, holding her shaking body as she sobbed into his chest “ it’ll be ok honey,” he soothed “ it was only one date.”

She shook her head into his chest, “ I’ve lost him.” She sobbed, her body shaking in his arms, as he pulled her closer trying to absorb her quaking sobs into his body.

“ It’s ok, shh,” he soothed into her hair, bringing his hand up to hold her head closer until her sobs became slight tremors instead of rolling waves of sorrow.

“ I’m sorry,” she sniffed, “ I cried all over your shirt.” Pulling herself up to sit again, she moved her hands to her face, wiping her face with the back of her hands.

“ Hey it’s ok,” he told her, reaching out a hand to push a strand of hair behind her ear “ I have more shirts.”

She looked into his face and let out a laugh at his words, thankful that he cared enough to stay with her. “ That’s my girl,” he smiled as he saw the change in her face “ want something to eat?”

“Yeah,” she laughed again “ I didn’t really get to eat anything before I stormed out on Hank, but I think I am hungry.”

“ Ah, the storming out on Hank thing,” he looked into her eyes “ what did he do to you Sar?”

She shook her head sadly, turning her head from his “ He reached over to hold my hand, and I didn’t want..”

“ You didn’t want Griss to see you and think that you were actually dating Hank right?”

“ Yeah, how did you know?” her eyes searched his face in wonder, he seemed to be right, they were so much alike.

“ I know you,” he told her “ and I know how you feel about Griss.”

“ Yeah well Griss has moved on,” she sighed sadly, the tears returning to her eyes “ the woman he’s dating is stunning. He’s not going to look twice at me anymore.”

“ Hey, Griss cares about you, of course he will,” reaching out he pulled her into his arms again “ and there are lots of us who happen to think you are pretty amazing.”

“ Greg doesn’t count Nick,” she smiled.

“ Hey who was talking about Greg?” he laughed against her “ but come on the guy worships the ground you walk on!”

“ Well at least I know there’s at least one,” she sighed sadly, wishing a certain man would notice her for who she was.

A knock on the door startled them out of their musings. Sara looked at her watch, it was pretty late,” Maybe it’s Warrick,” she said as she pulled away from him to stand up.

“ Yeah, maybe,” he grinned as he got to his feet “I’ll go grab more beers, it’ll be a long night.” She watched him as he disappeared into the kitchen then moved to open the door.

Everything happened so fast it seemed to blur before her eyes. Before she had a chance to register that it was a very drunken Hank at her door, she saw the shining edge of something collide with her chest, causing her to gasp out a breath. Her eyes grew wide in horror as she looked down to see a knife sticking out of her body, blood seeping from the edge of the wound.

Nick came out of the kitchen, beers in his hands “ Hey Sara, what’s taking so…” His voice stopped dead, the cans falling to the floor as he raced towards her, catching her swaying body in his arms.

“ Sara, Sara,” he gasped out a sob, failing to keep the tears from his eyes. As he placed her gently on the floor, he looked up at Hank who seemed to be staring, a dazed expression on his face “ YOU BASTARD,” Nick yelled, lunging at him and knocking him to the ground, following one punch with another, blow after bow until Hank laid still, knocked out cold. Nick’s body was shaking violently as he raced back to Sara’s side “ It’s ok honey,” he told her, tears running down his face “ I’m gonna get help, ok, you stay with me?”

“ Nicky,” she gasped “ Hank.”

“ I know honey, now don’t talk ok,” he kept one hand in hers as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed in a number “ I need an ambulance,” he spoke into the phone trying to remain calm. When he pressed the call end button he looked down at Sara again, she had gone completely pale, her eyes rolling “ Honey no, stay with me,” he ordered, shaking her slightly to rouse her. Taking out his phone again he punched in Warricks number “ War I need you at Sara’s, call Griss and Cath, Sara’s been hurt, Hank stabbed her in the chest, no, just get here.”

Throwing the phone behind him, he crawled closer to her, “ Hey talk to me,” he told her, his tears falling onto her hair soaking through onto her forehead “ Stay with me Sara.”

“ Tired,” she mumbled, her eyes trying to focus on him, as the world seemed to grow darker around her.

“ I know sweetie,” he soothed, his hand combing through her hair “ you have to hang on ok, the ambulance is on its way, I can hear it now, can you honey? Can you hear it?”

“Griss?” she asked him, her voice so shallow it broke his heart. He reached down to smooth her hair from her face, leaving a trail of her blood from his hands in her hair “ He’ll be here soon honey, Warricks calling him now, it won’t be long.”

The ambulance arrived, pulling to a screeching halt beside her car. Nick was suddenly pushed out of the way while the paramedics tried to stop the blood flowing from her chest.

“ Nicky,” she wailed, as they pushed him further away, her hand reaching out to him desperately wanting him to hold her. He broke then, the tears coming in gulping waves as he tried to be strong “ I’m here baby,” he choked, wanting to reach out to her to be there for her, whatever it took to show her she was the center of their world, and they, Warrick, Griss and himself couldn’t ever lose her.

 

 

 

Outside, Hank had started to lift himself from the floor, his head groggy from the blows from Nick’s fists. Pulling himself to his feet, he swayed a little trying to focus on his surroundings. A car screeched to a halt behind him, the doors slamming loudly, echoing in his ears.

“ WHY YOU LOUSY LITTLE SON OF A BITCH,” Warrick yelled, as he charged towards the already cowering man to land a punch on his jaw, sending him on his backside.

Warricks arm rose again for another blow, as Hank closed his eyes so he wouldn’t see the oncoming fist before it hit. It never came. Opening his eyes slowly, Hank saw a woman hanging onto Warricks arms, trying to calm him down before he landed another punch and got himself thrown in jail.

“ Warrick stop,” Catherine commanded “ this isn’t helping Sara ok, she needs you.”

The fire in Warricks eyes seemed to fade away slightly at her words, as he slowly turned to face her “ I want him locked up,” he told her, “that asshole hurt Sara, he better have a damn good lawyer coz I’m gonna hunt him down and kick his sorry ass every time I see him.”

“ We all will, but not now, first we check on Sara, then you get even ok?” when he didn’t answer her, she tugged at his arm, bringing his fuming eyes away from Hanks face “ OK?” she asked again.

“ Yeah, fine whatever,” he nodded angrily “ where the hell is brass? And where’s Grissom? He should have been here by now.”

“ I couldn’t reach him on his cell or house phone. I’ve paged him. He’ll be here.”

Hank moved himself to stand again, but found a foot in his chest pushing him back into the ground. Looking up he expected to see Warricks angry face looming over his head, but instead he saw Catherine. She dug her heel into his chest, pushing a little harder that she should “ Don’t you even think about it asshole,” she warned, her eyes mixed with both anger and fear “ you hurt my friend and that means you hurt me too.”

“ I’m sorry,” he moaned, raising a hand to his head.

“Save it,” a voice loomed behind him, as Brass stepped forward, yanking him to his feet “ You’re under arrest for deadly assault on a CSI”

Hank looked on helplessly as his arms were yanked behind his back. He felt the nausea rising in his stomach as he felt the handcuffs slapped on his wrists, his legs feeling unsteady as he was marched toward the awaiting police car.

 

Warrick stood anxiously beside Nick watching nervously, trying to catch a glimpse of Sara’s body, which was surrounded by paramedics.

“ Blood pressure’s dropping,” one called out worriedly “ if we don’t move her soon we’re gonna lose her.”

“ NO,” Nick cried, his voice coming in shaking waves as he tried to get to her.

“ Sir we need to work on her, you have to step away.”

“ Sara,” he called out, his voice a strangled cry of despair “ you hang on you hear me? Honey?”

“ Sir please,” he was urged again “ Let us do our job.”

“ Nick come on man, let’s get some air,” Warrick told him, pushing on his arm to move him outside.

“ She’s on her own war, I can’t leave her I promised,” his voice shook with undeniable sorrow as he fought Warrick briefly.

“ Nicky,” this time Sara’s voice croaked out, barely a whisper, but he heard it.

He found himself rushing to her side, ignoring all the orders for him to move. Crouching down beside her, he saw her hand lift shakily. Urging him to take it in his.

His hand clasped hers desperately trying to ease her pain with his love “ I’m here, it’s gonna be ok honey, you hear me Sara?”

A weak smile crossed her lips slowly, her eyes searching his “ Tell Griss,” she choked out, gasping a breath before trying again “ tell him…I’m sorry.”

He held her hand tighter, his eyes suddenly afraid “ No,” he soothed his voice cracking with emotion. His tears plopped onto her face “ you tell him yourself, don’t you dare leave us, Sara, promise me.”

“ I’ll try,” her voice was barely audible as she spoke, and before he could even think about talking to her again, he was pulled away from her body.

“ Sir please leave, you’re not helping her,” an irate female paramedic began shoving him towards the door “ you can wait outside.”

Warrick grabbed hold of his arm before he could protest, forcefully removing him from Sara’s home, to lead him into the dark night where Catherine waited.

“ How is she?” she asked, her voice shaking through tears. She looked from Nick to Warrick searching for answers, but neither seemed to be in any fit state to reply.

The hustle in the doorway caught all their attentions as Sara on a stretcher, oxygen mask over her face was pushed out into the ambulance.

“ Sir do you want to ride with her?” the paramedic who had ordered him outside now approached him, looking at him questioningly.

“ Yes,” he leapt forward, then turning to Warrick and Catherine “ I’ll meet you at the hospital, lock her door will ya?”

“ No probs Nick,” Warrick nodded, his arm snaking around Catherine’s waist to keep her upright.

As they watched the ambulance pull away, it’s sirens blaring loudly; she looked at Warrick “ Where the hell is Griss?”

 

Grissom walked into Caroline’s apartment behind her. They had gone for a walk long after they left the restaurant, ending up here, at her plush residence.

“ Make yourself at home Gil,” she called out as she moved into the kitchen “ what do you want to drink?”

“ Coffee will be fine,” he called out, his eyes roaming over her soft furnishings. He knew she would be good for him, granting him everything he wanted in life, but his mind kept returning to the dark haired beauty who’s eyes held the depths of his soul in them. The more he thought about her, the more he started to feel guilty. This felt like cheating, even though they weren’t together in any way shape or form, he still felt as if this relationship of his would hurt her, just as she had hurt him.

Pulling out his cell phone from his pocket, he noticed it had been turned off, which was odd; he didn’t ever turn it off.

“ I switched it off,” Caroline’s voice drifted from the doorway “ I didn’t want work to disrupt our time together.”

“ You did what?” his voice was suddenly tinged with anger “ You had no right..”

“ Oh come on Gil, if anyone needs you they can page you,” she stopped and looked at him guiltily “ Sorry I forgot, I turned that off too.”

“ You what?” pulling out his pager he turned it on, his eyes burning with anger at her obvious lack of interest. He opened his mouth to tell her of his disappointment when his pager beeped loudly. Looking down at the words he froze ‘Sara’s hurt’

Jumping off her couch, he practically ran towards the door without a second glance backwards.

“ Gil, what is it?” Caroline asked worriedly, feeling something was wrong.

“ I have to go,” he told her “ my friend is…I have to go.” Then he was gone, slamming the door behind him, leaving her staring at the empty space he had just vacated, hurt and anger in her eyes.

 

Outside the hospital corridor, Nick paced up and down restlessly. He couldn’t settle knowing that Sara was in one of the hospital rooms where he was forbidden to enter.

“ Nicky,” Catherine groaned “Would you please stop pacing you’re making me dizzy.”

“ Sorry,” he said quietly, moving over to a chair to sit down. His whole posture held the look of a defeated man, and he that’s exactly how he felt right now, defeated and lost; he needed to be in that room, with her.

“ Hey man, this is Sara, she’s tough,” Warrick told him, his voice betraying his own torrid emotions “ if anyone can survive this it’s her.”

Nicky leaned forward to clasp his hands between his open legs, lowering his head to hide the anguish on his face. He knew she projected this strong image, but really underneath all that tough exterior, she was vulnerable and unsure of her place in everyone’s lives. His eyes that had been fighting the tears since they arrived here started to threaten to spill onto his cheeks again. He knew if he let go, he’d never be able to stop the flow of emotion from his eyes, and she needed him to be strong for her, not the quivering wreck that he was now.

Catherine watched him sadly, she knew he and Sara were close, and if she was honest with herself she felt a little guilty. Sara had tried countless times to be her friend, to try and get close to her, but she had been so involved in her own issues she had never really tried to get to know her, and now, she wished she had at least invited Sara over, even if only for a beer.

Looking at her watch again, she found her mind drifting to Grissom. This wasn’t like him; he should have been here before now. This was one of his team, his friend, or so he had claimed in those early days. His absence only highlighting the fact that maybe they weren’t so much as friends anymore.

“ I’m gonna try Grissom again,” she announced to no one in particular, as she stood up and made her way to the doors.

“ Yeah tell him to get his sorry ass here right now,” Nicky told her angrily, his face awash with emotional pain “she needs him.” Catherine watched him sadly, nodding her head before turning towards the exit.

Warrick watched her leave, and then turned his eyes back to his friend. Nick’s body was slumped forward, his hair disheveled and his eyes buried in pain “Hey man how you holding up?”

“Huh,” Nick let out a bitter laugh “ My best friend is fighting for her life, the man who supposedly loves her is dating another woman and I just sat with her a few hours ago while she sobbed her heart out, I’d say I’m doing pretty lousy,” he told him angrily.

“ Hey, I know ok,” Warrick stood up to relocate into the chair beside him “ you were with her when this happened ok, you saw what that SOB did to her and I don’t blame you for wanting a piece of him, but Griss and Sara have to work out their own issues, we can’t afford to take sides.”

Nick leaned further forward, moving a hand up to his face to wipe the tears away before they took a hold on his emotions “ I know,” he sighed heavily “ I’m sorry man, I just need to see her.”

“ I know,” Warrick nodded, tapping his shoulder “ and as soon as we know anything you will ok?”

Before he could answer, a doctor came out of the room Sara was in “ Mr. Stokes?” she asked, diverting her gaze in his direction.

“ Yeah,” he jumped to his feet “ How is she?”

“ Well, I’d say she’s a very lucky young woman,” she smiled “ the knife embedded itself into her ribs and puncturing a lung, she’ll make a full recovery, but she needs complete rest.”

“ Thanks Doc,” Warrick replied for Nick who had completely lost it. He had sat back into his chair and let lose the tears that had been threatening for hours.

“ When can we see her?” Warrick asked her.

“ As soon as she’s settled, a nurse will come and get you,” she smiled again before looking over to Nick who had once again tried to compose himself. He looked up at the doctor, tears still streaking his face “ Thank you.”

“ Well most of the thanks has to go to Ms Sidle, she is one hell of a fighter.”

“ Yes she is,” Nick sniffed back his emotions to smile “ she’s tough.”

“ It shouldn’t be too long,” she smiled again.

“ Thanks Doc.”

 

Outside the hospital, Catherine pulled out her cell phone and pressed in Grissom’s number. She waited impatiently, pacing up and down “ Come on Gil, pick up the damn phone,” she muttered. After a few rings he finally answered, “ Where the hell are you?” she demanded.

“ I’m on my way, I’ll be there in two minutes,” he was breathless, the panic in his voice obvious.

“ Well just get here.”

“ Cath, how is she?” his voice caught in his throat as he spoke, and for a brief moment she actually felt sorry for him, but the tough mask fell again almost instantly “ She was stabbed in the chest Gil,” she heard his sharp intake of breath, but carried on her onslaught “ Hank came to her house and stabbed her, the bastard actually stabbed her.”

“WHAT?” he yelled “ why that…”

“ Save it Gil,” she ordered, “ just get here.” With that she turned off her phone and shoved it into her pocket. Taking a deep breath she tried to control her shaking before returning back inside.

 

Grissom pulled up to the hospital, and parked in one of the bays. His heart was pounding in his chest, all kinds of unimaginable thoughts crowding his mind. Sara stabbed? His beautiful Sara hurt, bleeding maybe close to death and there he was, out with Caroline. His mind ran through the events of tonight over and over in his mind, torturing his thoughts into a nightmarish impossibility of actions. He should have been here, but thanks to Caroline, he hadn’t known, god what if she had been killed? How would he ever be able to live with himself? He would deal with Caroline’s actions as soon as he could, but for now he needed to be here, for Sara.

Pushing open the doors, he walked through the sterile corridors until he came to where the rest of his team sat waiting. Warrick and Catherine looked up as he entered, nodding to him slightly as he came to sit beside them. His eyes drifted to Nicky, who sat totally forward, his whole body shaking.

“ Any news?” he asked worriedly, looking from Catherine to Warrick.

“ Yeah, she’s gonna be ok,” Catherine told him, her voice quivering with tears “ she was lucky.”

“ No she was lucky that Nick was with her when that bastard stabbed her,” Warrick told him, before turning his eyes to his friend who seemed to sit motionless, unspeaking.

“ Hey man, you ok?”

“What?” he asked looking up, his eyes showing the obvious signs of his distress. His eyes drifted over to Grissom who was staring at him, an odd expression on his face. When had he got here, he wondered. “ You made it,” he stated, his eyes on his superior “ good.”

“ I came as soon as I heard,” Griss nodded, his heart racing. These people were his friends not only his team, but to see them now, it was as if their hearts had been ripped out.

“ It happened over two hours ago,” Nick spoke again, his eyes staring accusingly “ she was calling for you you know?” He kept his eyes on Grissom, enjoying the new sadness that appeared on his face “ she was bleeding and could hardly breath but she wanted you, and I had to lie to her Grissom, I had to tell her you would be there for her.”

“ I..” Grissom’s voice cracked, his heart beating a sad slow rhythm as the truth of Nicks words hit him with a powerful blow.

Before he could speak again a nurse came over to them and looked directly over at Nick “ Mr. Stokes, you can see her now, but only for a few minutes ok. No more that two people at one time”

He was on his feet in an instant, wanting to be with his friend. Turning he angled his head towards Grissom “ She needs to see you,” he told him, the anger of a few seconds ago lost in a heartbeat. Grissom stood quickly, feeling the guilt in his heart retreat to allow the more powerful feelings of love move forward for a remarkable young woman. Following the young man before him, he counted his blessings that he was given a second chance to bridge the gap that had grown between them, maybe it wasn’t too late after all.

 

The room Sara was in had the lights dimmed. The gentle rhythm of the heart machine beside her the only sound in the room. Nick caught his breath as he saw her, so was so pale, and her body looked so small in the huge bed she now laid in.

Stepping closer, he came to stand beside her bed, his hand moving instantly to her hair, stroking the silky stands with delicate strokes. He needed to see her now more than ever, just to give himself the reassurance that she was going to be ok.

Grissom watched him as he came slowly into the room. He felt like he was intruding, that he didn’t deserve to be here, but his love for this woman was overwhelming, blocking out all the negative vibes in his heart. Stepping closer into the room, he came to stand by the opposite side of the bed. His eyes scanning over her small body, wishing that he could somehow make her better by his sheer will alone. Slowly, he raised a hand to touch her arm, wanting to feel her warm skin beneath his. But as she started to wake, he lost his nerve and pulled his hand away.

Nicky smiled down at her from where he stood, her eyes slowly focusing on him.

“ Hey,” he grinned widely “ how do you feel?”

She breathed in a breath and instantly regretted it, the sting of pain shooting through her chest registering the remembrance of the earlier events.

 She tried her best smile for him, trying to will the pain away so he wouldn’t worry, but she knew he had already seen her wince in agony.

“ You had us all worried,” he told her, stroking her hair gently. His gentleness calmed her, lulling her back into sleep. She smiled sleepily at his words “ Sorry,” her eyes began to close again, as the tiredness swept over her again.

“ Honey I’m gonna let you get some rest, I’m just so glad you’re gonna be ok,” he told her as he leant down to kiss her head. He let his hand trail gently over her face, letting her feel the tenderness in his touch. Her eyes opened again, and she grasped his hand urgently before he could leave her side.

“ Griss?” she asked him in a whisper, searching his face, silently begging him to tell her he was here and he still cared. At her side, Griss leaned over to touch her arm “ I’m here Sara,” he told her.

Her head turned towards his voice, her eyes searching for him, needing him to warm her heart. A soon as she found him, her heart rate doubled, and she held out a hand to him, needing his touch. Nicky watched as their eyes met, and began retreating towards the doorway silently. Whatever these two had between them was still alive and strong, intertwining them together with more than any words could express. With a final glance backwards, he smiled. Griss was the best medicine for her right now; he could heal her with his presence more than any drugs ever could.

“ You came,” she smiled sleepily up at him, her voice a graveled whisper.

Griss felt his heart ache for her. He needed to be with her, how could he ever deny the fact that she was his world any longer? Leaning closer he smiled down at her, finding her hand to wrap his fingers around hers “ I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

“ I had a dream about you,” she sighed, her eyes growing heavy.

“ You did?” he asked, his gaze settling over her face, feeling the love for her flowing freely from his heart.

“Mm..Hmm,” she smiled sleepily “ you brought me ice-cream….it was strawberry I think…” her voice trailed off as her breathing evened out into sleep again.

Grissom’s eyes began to fill with emotion. This beautiful young woman was everything to him, and he made a silent vow to her that he would make things up to her, no matter how long it took. His eyes wandered to their joined hands, memorizing every detail before bringing her hand to his lips. He kissed her soft skin treasuring the feel of it against his lips. Smiling once more, he leaned over her to kiss her cheek, his eyes closing in the warmth of her face. He knew now that he cold never be apart from her, and Caroline would have to know she had no place in his heart. He looked up as a nurse entered the room, her eyes watching him with sympathy “ I‘m sorry sir but you’ll have to leave now, she needs her rest.”

Pulling back, he gently released their hands, his touch lingering a little longer over her skin, before moving away from the bed towards the door, his heart already yelling out it’s objections.

“ She has two friends outside who haven’t seen her yet, can they at least come in and see she’s alright?” he asked, his eyes pleading.

“ All right, but only for a minute, no more,” she sighed, nodding her head.

“ Thank you,” he smiled, his eyes turning to Sara’s sleeping face one last time before he left the room.

 

Grissom looked over towards Nick who was sat slouched in a chair opposite him. The younger man had his eyes closed. His head leaned back against the wall.

“ Thank you for being there for her Nick,” he spoke at last, his voice caught on a whisper “ I’m so sorry.”

Opening his eye’s Nick turned his head to take in Grissom’s sad face and nodded “ She loves you,” he told him, his voice honest “ you know that don’t you?”

At first Grissom didn’t know how to respond, his heart already knew the answer to his question, but now as Nick stated what he already knew, he found himself lost. Nodding his head slowly, he let a heavy sigh escape his throat.

“ How cold you do that to her Griss?” Nick asked quietly, his eyes turned away to hide the liquid emotion in his eyes “ she was so upset after she left that restaurant.” Turning his eyes towards Grissom again, he watched him intently, trying to mentally read his mind for some explanation, anything to ease this ache in his heart.

“ I thought she and Hank..”

“ Ha, Hank, after what that bastard just did to her?” Nick jumped to his feet, the ever-present emotions bubbling to the surface threatening to spill over onto his cheeks. “ I can’t understand why you would hurt her like you have, I mean don’t you have any feelings for her at all?”

“ Nicky,” Griss warned, his voice low in his throat “ I will not discuss this here with you, not now.”

“ Fine,” the anger in Nick’s eyes blazed for an instant until the tears in his eyes extinguished the flame, filling him with a deep embedded sorrow “ Just so you know Griss, I won’t let you hurt her.”

“ I promise I won’t Nick,” Grissom told him honestly “ I won’t hurt her anymore, and I do love her.”

Nick regarded him for a long moment, satisfied with his answer. Nodding his head, he returned to his seat “Good.”

Catherine and Warrick emerged from Sara’s room, both showing the sadness in their eyes. “ She’s so pale,” Catherine spoke her voice quiet.

“ The doctor thinks she’s going to be here for at least a week,” Warrick told them, his eyes darting from both Grissom and Nick “ she’s gonna be off work for a while until she recovers.”

“ Yes we know,” Grissom nodded “ are you heading back to the lab?”

“ Yeah we have to process the evidence on the Simmons case,” Warrick looked towards Catherine briefly then returned to his two friends “ are you guys staying here?”

“ I am,” Nick told them, his eyes darting towards Grissom.

“ We’ll take it in shifts,” Grissom nodded “ I’ll head back and take care of some things and them come back here in a couple of hours.”

“ No need Griss,” Nick told him “ I’ll stay.”

“Nicky you can’t,” Catherine left Warricks side to come and sit beside him “ look you’re exhausted you won’t be any use to her like this, she’s going to be asleep for hours. Why don’t you both go home and get some sleep?”

“ No I have something I need to do and then I’m coming back to Sara,” Grissom told her, his voice stating this was not up for discussion.

“ Ok,” she saw the determination in his eyes, and something else mingled in his blue depths “ But only for a couple of hours though, we need you at work.”

“ Work can wait,” he told her angrily “ I need to be here.”

“ So do I,” Nicky told them, his voice tired and drained.

“ Yes but later, for now you are going home,” Catherine told him firmly, defying him to argue with her.

“ Cath…” he began to protest.

“ NO,” turning her head to Warrick she moved her head indicating for him to help.

“ Yeah Nick, she’s right.”

“ Alright,” he sighed standing shakily to his feet “ but I’m coming back here first thing.”

“ Deal,” she smiled “ now go home.”

 

Grissom stayed seated while he watched the others leave.. He knew he had to break things off with Caroline and that she would probably take it badly, after all she had offered him everything and asked for nothing but his love in return. Love, he mused, how could he have ever compared the feeling he had for Sara and those of fondness for Caroline?

Sighing heavily, he stood to his feet and made his way back towards Sara’s room to sneak a peek inside. At the sight of her small body relaxed and sleeping, he was hit by a huge wave of love that almost burst through his chest. He began to make his way slowly into her room before the nurse who had thrown him out only minutes ago stopped him.

“ I just want to say goodnight to her,” he told her, putting all the charm into his voice he could muster “please, I’ll only be a second?”

The nurse looked up at him, his melting gaze staring into her soul “ Ok,” she nodded “but make it quick.”

“ Thank you,” he smiled before moving over to the bed again.

He drank in her beauty, once again overwhelmed by the power she held over his heart. Leaning down over her face, he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, lingering there for a few moments, feeling the heat from her soft skin warm his lips. Drawing away slowly, he kept his eyes on her face. A tiny smile graced her delicate features and he felt himself fall in love with her all over again in one precious moment.

 “ I love you,” he whispered into her ear, needing her to know that he would always be here for her, even in the most darkest of times. Reaching out a hand, he stroked her hair gently before placing a kiss into her hair, nuzzling her for a few moments, stealing as much time with her as he possibly could.

The nurse watched him mesmerized. She noticed the gentle touches and the love pouring from his eyes, and for the first time in her life realized she was witnessing a man in love, no pretense, no falseness, just pure and deep love. She knew she had to tell him to leave, but at the same time she was unwilling to break the spell in the room, not when it filled her with the hope that maybe there was a perfect love somewhere out there for her.

Grissom lifted his lips from Sara’s hair, unwilling to break contact with her for only a few seconds. He felt her in his heart, in his soul, everywhere. She was part of him now, and always would be. Sighing, he pulled away, his gaze drifting over her face one last time before drawing away. Turning his attention towards the nurse he smiled “Thank you.”

She nodded to him, feeling privileged that she had been witness to such a beautiful moment. She watched him as he moved from the room, his eyes still lingering over the woman asleep in the bed.

 “ I’ll be back in a few hours,” he told her before taking out his wallet to find a card with his number on it “ if she wakes before myself or one of the other people who were here return will you please call me?”

She took the card, turning it over in her hands. She lifted her eyes to his, feeling a newfound respect in their depths and nodded her head as he began to walk away.

 

An hour after he had left Sara at the hospital, Grissom sat in his car looking up at Caroline’s window. He knew she wasn’t going to be happy with his news, but it had to be done, he couldn’t possible see her again on a romantic level, not when the woman he truly loved held his heart completely.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the car door and stepped out, all the time fixing his eyes on her window. All the lights were off indicating she was probably asleep, but he needed to do this now before he lost his nerve.

Walking towards her door, his hand hovered over the hard wood for a few seconds before actually plucking up the courage to knock. He drew in a breath, preparing himself for the anger she would no doubt send his way.

“Who is it?” Caroline’s voice asked from the other side of the door.

“ Gil,” he told her quietly “ I need to talk to you.”

He heard the door unlock and open to reveal a tired looking woman “ Gil,” she beamed “ I didn’t expect you to come back.”

“ I need to talk to you,” he told her, his feet shifting into a nervous dance before her “ can I come in?”

Nodding her head, she moved aside for him to enter. He could feel her eyes on him burning into his back as he walked into the darkened room.

She closed the door and reached over to click on the light eyeing him cautiously. She had a bad feeling about this visit, something wasn’t quite right.

“ Can I get you something to drink?” she asked him as she moved closer to wrap her arms around him from behind. Grissom jumped at her touch, his eyes darting to her linked hands on his chest. Sara’s face flashed in his mind, bringing with it a burst of love reminding him of the life he had to look forward to with her. Moving his hands up to hers, he pulled them apart to drop at his sides and moved away.

Caroline felt him as he pulled her hands from his chest to push her away, the hurt from her heart rising into her eyes. “ Gil?”

He turned slowly to face her “ Caroline, I..” he stopped, took a breath and tried again “ I’m sorry but I can’t see you again.”

Her face became a mask of pain, her eyes staring into his face not quite comprehending what he had just told her “ Excuse me?” she asked stunned “ what did you just say?”

“ I said I..”

“ I know what you said Gil,” she told him, hurt and anger rising in her voice. She watched him with careful eyes, trying to make some sense of this “look if it’s about me turning off your phone, I already told you I was sorry.” She took a step towards him, reaching out a hand to his arm, trying to make contact with his body. He suddenly pulled his arm away, taking a step back away from her.

“ That has something to do with it,” he told her, unnerved by the anger forming in her eyes “ but that’s not the whole reason.”

“ Well then out with it,” she snapped, “ I would like an explanation as to why you suddenly don’t want to see me after all this time.”

“ Caroline,” he started “ I’m sorry but you have to know I’m in love with someone else.” His voice trailed off as he saw her collapse into one of her chairs. Her mouth hung open in shock and her eyes stared at him, trying to understand.

“Who?” she asked, her voice dripping with anger “ who is she Gil? Who?”

Grissom felt his heart race as he thought of her, his Sara, the only one who had held his heart for the past ten years “ She’s been a friend of mine for over ten years, but I’ve loved her for most of that time,” he watched her face pale “ I’m sorry Caroline, but I love Sara, I always have.”

“ Sara?” she spat angrily, the name echoing in her mind “ So you thought about her all the time we were together?” Getting to her feet she began to pace angrily “ You are a bastard Gil Grissom, and no doubt she is some whore who seduced you knowing you were with me.”

 Griss felt himself grow hot, how dare she or anyone say something so derogatory about someone so beautifully perfect,          “ Don’t you ever call her that,” he told her, anger seeping into his veins “ because of you I almost missed seeing her tonight. She was the friend who was hurt tonight, and you turned my cell off, remember?” He was angry now, the words slipping out of his mouth with ease “ I could have lost her all because YOU decide you don’t want my work to interrupt, but it backfired on you. I am in love with her.”

Moving angrily to the door, he pulled it open “ Goodbye Caroline.” Then he was gone, slamming the door with a loud bang.

Caroline stared at the closed door in shock. He was gone from her life, from her bed. Hurt gave way to anger as she tried to picture the woman who had torn them apart. She vowed to find her and tell her Gil was hers, and she wouldn’t be tossed aside just because this ‘Sara’ decided she wanted him. Seething, she slapped off the light switch and returned to bed, making a promise she would have him back.

 

Grissom found himself driving back towards the hospital, needing more than ever to see Sara. He needed her presence to heal his heart, to reassure her that she was still the one whose love he craved. Pulling into the car park, he made his way into the hospital.

The nurse from earlier was checking Sara’s notes when she saw him. Shaking her head she came towards him “ Sir it’s only been just over an hour, I told you I would call you if she woke up.”

“ I know,” he smiled sheepishly “ I want to sit with her a while, I can’t sleep knowing she’s here alone.” His eyes watched her carefully, trying the charm he had succeeded with earlier that night “please?”

Sighing with a smile she nodded “, I don’t want her disturbed, she needs plenty of rest. I’ll agree for you to stay on the condition you don’t wake her.”

“ I promise you I won’t make a sound,” he grinned, feeling his heart grow lighter at the thought of being with her.

“ Ok,” the nurse smiled as she moved aside to let him pass.

As he walked into the dimly lit room, his heart leapt at the sight of her. She had moved in her sleep, her hair tussled over her pillow in all directions. Sitting down in the chair next to her bed, his eyes focused on her sleeping face. She looked relaxed when she slept, all the stresses of life erased from her face.

Smiling, he reached out to move a strand of hair away from her face, his hand gently brushing her cheek in the process. She breathed in at his touch, and moved in her sleep to clasp his hand in hers. He watched her, his eyes filling with emotion. Never had he felt something so intoxicating before, he needed to touch her. Moving forward, he laid his head on the bed next to hers, so close that he could feel her breath warm his face. Wrapping his fingers around her hand, he knew he had never felt such peace in all his life. This remarkable woman had breathed new life into his body, tearing down his defenses to warm his heart. He watched her for a long time, the rise and fall of her chest setting a steady rhythm, easing him into relaxing submission. Before he even had time to stop it, his eyes closed and joined her in restful slumber.

 

Some time later, Sara opened her eyes. For a moment she had to register where she was. Her eyes scanned around the room before the wash of memories flooded back into her mind bringing with it the stinging pain in her chest. Moving slightly, she couldn’t understand why she couldn’t move her arm until her eyes traveled down. What she saw made her heart melt. There was her beloved Grissom, eyes closed, clasping her hand to his as if his life depended on her. Smiling, she moved her free hand to thread her fingers through the curls in his hair, feeling blessed and elated that he had stayed with her.

The nurse from the night shift came into the room, stopping inside the doorway to stare at the scene before her. Sara was awake, unaware of her presence. Her eyes gazed down lovingly at the man asleep beside her, as she ran her fingers gently through his hair. A smile formed on her lips as he started to stir.

Grissom opened his eyes slowly, trying to focus on his surroundings. He felt the pressure on his head and turned slightly to look up into her face, a beaming smile on her lips.

“ Sara,” he gasped, moving to sit up. Her hand moved from his hair onto his face as she gazed up at him lovingly.

“ Griss,” she smiled “ you stayed?”

Moving a hand to cover hers on his cheek, he moved his head to plant a delicate kiss in the palm of her hand before moving to kiss her lips gently.

“ I couldn’t leave you,” he told her honestly, the love pouring from his eyes. She gazed up into his deep blue depths, feeling the love she felt for him mirrored there.

“ I’m sorry about Hank,” she told him quickly, needing to explain.

“Shh,” he whispered, silencing her with his lips. Sara’s heart was racing. The pain in her chest momentarily forgotten as she gave into his kiss, feeling herself falling deeper and deeper into him.

He felt the kiss all the way to his toes, reveling in her warmth, sealing between them a secret pact that they would always share this loving bond.

Slowly, they drew apart, reluctantly breaking contact. He gazed down at her lovingly, his breath still close enough to mingle with hers. They didn’t need any words right now, all they needed to know passed between their eyes in silent communication, expressing their love for each other in a blink of an eye.

The nurse who had been watching enchanted, coughed as she came into the room. Trying in some way to alert them of her presence. She wished she could hear what they were saying to each other in their minds, because the look they shared was one of total adoration, and for a moment she felt warmed by their obvious love for one another.

Pulling away from Sara reluctantly, Grissom held onto her hand as he turned to face the nurse with a smile “ Thank you for letting me stay.”

She nodded, her eyes watching them with interest. Sara had more colour this morning and she knew it wasn’t from the medications she had been receiving. She was almost sure her fast healing was to do with the man who was with her. Smiling, she came over to check Sara’s temperature and blood pressure. “ I am sure you are helping her recover,” she told him, her eyes focused on her watch as she counted the beats of Sara’s heart “ I don’t see a problem with an extension of visiting hours, especially for husbands.”

Pulling the thermometer out of Sara’s mouth, she noticed the shocked looks that passed between the two people before her, but chose to ignore them as she retreated back towards the doorway. She knew by Sara’s records that this man wasn’t her husband, but he might as well be. Turning her head one last time, she saw then once again engaged in a loving gaze, and knew she couldn’t make him leave even if her job depended on it. 

 

 Warrick had been surprised at the amount of people coming up to him to pass on their wishes and to give him gifts to give to Sara. He didn’t even know half the people who seemed to know her, but he promised to pass them on anyway. One woman stood out in particular. She was very well dressed and looked unlike someone none of them would know personally.

“Hi can I help you?” he asked her. She seemed to be looking for someone and was slightly confused when she couldn’t find whoever she was looking for.

“ Well I was trying to find Sara actually, you wouldn’t know where she is would you?”

“Sara?” he asked confused “ Sara Sidle?”

Her eyes watched him cautiously as if she was weighing up his words “Yes Sara Sidle, that’s her, would you tell me where I can find her?”

“ Sorry she’s not here,” he told her “ She’s in hospital. Look are you a friend of hers?”

“ I’m her, um, I’m her aunt,” she stammered, “ I wanted to surprise her.”

“ Hold on I can call our supervisor Gil Grissom for you, and he’ll tell her you’re here,” he offered.

“ Gil?” her smile seemed to fade away a little at the mention of his name “ no it’s ok, I’ll catch up with her when she comes home.”

He watched her as she turned away sadly, and he had to admit he felt a little sorry for her and if she was Sara’s aunt? “ Hey she’s in St Johns if you’d like to visit.”

She turned and smiled brightly at him “ Thank you, thank you very much.” Then she was gone.

“ Hey,” Catherine asked coming to stand beside him “ who was that?”

“ Said she was Sara’s aunt,” he told her “ Hey you coming with Nick and me to the hospital?”

“ I’ll go later this afternoon,” she smiled “ I have a few errands to run first. Give her my love won’t you?”

“ Of course, see ya later.”

Nicky and Warrick walked along the corridor towards Sara’s room, arms laden with flowers, soft toys and cards. Nick grinned at Warrick “ Hey man, look at all this stuff, who’d ever have thought our Sara was so popular?”

“ I know,” he grinned.

  As they approached her room, Sara’s giggling could be heard drifting through the doorway. The two men exchanged confused smiles before entering the room.

The sight that greeted them was one that they would never have believed in a thousand years if they hadn’t seen it for themselves. Sara was propped up into pillows, laying into the softness behind her as not to strain her chest wound. Grissom was perched on the edge of her bed holding a spoon to her mouth. He held the bright green jell-o to her lips giving her one of his most firm looks, knowing his own laughter was bubbling under the surface.

“ I refuse to eat that,” she laughed, pushing his hand away to topple the spoon back into the bowl with a clatter. She broke into giggles again as his face crumbled into a stifled chuckle. Wincing she held a hand to her chest “ Don’t make me laugh,” she told him, trying to stop the laughter starting again “ooh that hurts.”

“ Sorry honey,” he smiled as he leaned over to plant a kiss on her lips soundly. Sitting back he held onto her hands, content to sit and watch her. Her eyes met his, holding his gaze. She had never felt love to these depths before. She would gladly stay here forever if she could just be with him, like this.

Warrick couldn’t contain himself any longer. Exchanging an amused look with Nicky he mouthed ‘honey’ before they burst into the room, making the pair on the bed jump visibly.

“ Hey there you,” he grinned, coming over to Sara to plant a big kiss on her cheek. She smiled up at him releasing one of Grissom’s hands to take the cards he gave her.

“ Hi Warrick,” she beamed. Her eyes looked down at the cards splayed over her bed, there must have been a dozen if not more.

Before she could ask about them, Nick came to stand beside Warrick, bending down to kiss her head “ Hey Honey,” he grinned down at her, happy to see she had more colour today. He turned towards Grissom, who hadn’t moved from her side and smiled “Hey Griss, you’re here early.”

Grissom’s eyes met Sara’s, the slow blush creeping up his face as she beamed a smile at him. “ I came back last night.”

“ Ah,” Nick nodded, turning his attention back to Sara.  He handed her a huge pink teddy bear wearing a big white bow “ This is from Greg,” he grinned “ He told me to tell you to get back to the lab soon coz he misses you.”

“ Oh that’s sweet,” she smiled happily, taking the teddy from him as he pushed a bunch of yellow roses towards her “ These are from me.” His eyes left her face to see the already enormous bunch of red roses already dominating her nightstand. He knew without even thinking who they would be from.

“ Oh sweetie they’re beautiful,” she smiled, motioning for him to come closer so she could kiss him, which he did willingly, “thank you.”

Grissom smiled over at Nicky impressed with his choice of flowers. His thoughts were lost as Warrick handed Sara a small white rabbit “ I have been told by David to tell you to get better, he sent you a card too, it’s in there somewhere,” he told her indicating the pile of cards on her bed.

“ Oh that’s nice of him,” she smiled “ tell him thanks for me.”

“ I will, and hey, these are from me,” he handed her another large bunch of mixed flowers, the brightest ones he could find, knowing she loved those the best.

“ Oh War,” she gasped up at him “thank you, I love them.” She smiled up at him adoringly, pulling on his hand so he would lean down so she could kiss him. Grinning, he leaned over for her to plant a kiss on his cheek. Sara was overwhelmed with the love in this room. Everything seemed to fade into the background as she let herself absorb their love, letting it heal her from the inside out.

“ I’m so glad I have all of you,” she smiled up at them in turn, her eyes growing wet with tears.

“ Honey you’ll always have us,” Griss smiled, squeezing her hand gently “ Now,” he got up off the bed “ how about I find some vases for these flowers?”

Sara smiled up at him, reluctantly releasing his hand to let him go. As he left Nick came to sit on the edge of her bed, taking her hands in his “ How you feeling honey?”

“ Sore,” she smiled “ but I’m ok.”

“ That’s good then,” he smiled. He exchanged glances with Warrick before speaking again “ Hanks going to be charged with attempted murder, Ecklie came by to tell us this morning.”

“ Well at least he can’t hurt anyone else,” she said sadly, the memories beginning to haunt her once more “ I never thought he could be so..”

“ Hey,” Nick smiled, clutching her hand to his lips to plant a kiss on it “ let’s not talk about him, not now. You need to get better..”

“ Oh and your aunt stopped by,” Warrick told her “ said she’d come to surprise you.”

“ My aunt?” she said, her voice confused “ aunt Selma?”

“ She didn’t tell me her name, but I told her you were here, so you’ll probably get a surprise visit.” Warrick grinned down at her “ So come on, open your cards.”

Sara looked from Nick to Warrick, feeling so loved and protected, she couldn’t ever remember a time in her life when she ever felt so content. Smiling again, she passed a card to Nicky for him to open.

 

Sara smiled happily as she settled back against the pillows listening to the friendly banter going on between the three men in the room. Grissom had returned to his earlier position on her bed, his hand automatically reaching for hers, stroking her fingers gently, his touch soothing her into peaceful contentment.

Her eyes lingered on his face, watching him as he laughed with Warrick and Nick, and at that moment she thought she had never seen him look so beautiful. A smile crossed her lips, warming her from the inside as she felt the love for him erupt in her heart. She knew now as she had all those years ago that there would never be any other man who could hold her heart.

Grissom’s eyes turned to her face, watching her warmly as her eyes met his. The look that passed between them could only be described as absolute adoration, their gaze fixing into each other both reluctant to look away.

“ Hey, I’d better get some sleep before shift starts,” Nicky spoke up as he noticed the looks passing between his two friends. He shifted himself off of her bed, indicating for Warrick to leave too, he had a feeling these two needed to be alone right now.

“ Yeah, me too,” Warrick spoke up, he too noticing that the temperature had seemed to rise in the room with the sparks flying between their locked eyes “ I’ll come see you tomorrow Sara.”

His words seemed to register in her brain as she tore her eyes away from the man she loved to look over at the other two men in the room. The expression on Nick’s face started a blush creeping up her chest to her cheeks as she realized what she had been doing.

“ You get better,” Nicky grinned as he leaned over to kiss her soundly “ you want me to bring you anything from home?”

She smiled up at him lovingly, a hand coming up to cup his face “ I could do with some more pajama’s and other stuff,” her face changed again, a huge grin on her face as she knew he would know exactly what she had been referring to. As much as she loved Griss, she didn’t feel that comfortable in asking him to bring her changes of underwear. She had a strong relationship with Nicky; they shared everything from nightmarish ramblings to each other’s laundry, so she knew he wouldn’t have a problem with it.

“ Will do,” he grinned, leaning over again to kiss her “ I’ll come by before work.”

“ Ok,” she smiled, letting go of his hand reluctantly as he moved away. He smiled down at their hands, fingertips still touching before breaking contact. His eyes met hers warmly, mouthing ‘love you’ to her before stepping away. A huge smile warmed her face before he left ‘you too,’ she mouthed back, feeling his love wash over her.

Warrick grinned down at her, grabbing her hand to bring it to his lips “ Feel better.”

“ Thank you,” she smiled up at him, squeezing his hand as he pulled away to move towards the door.

Grissom turned to watch her again, his face awash with love. “ You know, you have a lot of people who love you?”

“ I know,” she smiled “ I’m so lucky.”

His hands found their way towards her again, linking their fingers together to entwine tightly. “ Did Warrick tell you about Hank yet?”

“ Yeah he mentioned something,” she sighed, her eyes dropping to their joined hands. The mention of his name seemed to fill her with a pain that had nothing to do with the wound he had inflicted in her. This pain was one of regret that had caused a rift between her and Griss, bringing with it a void that had been growing wider and wider between them for weeks, until now.

“ I’m sorry I went out with him,” she told him softly, her eyes lifting to his face, trying to read his eyes.

Grissom had to admit he had been hurt by her seemingly betrayal, but at the same time he had betrayed her too, in some ways a deeper betrayal that he was not proud of.

“ It doesn’t matter now,” he told her gently “ I was guilty of that too.”

“ Your date,” she asked sadly, squeezing his hands in hers “ you two seemed close.”

He watched her intently, trying to get the words right “ She was a replacement Sara,” he told her carefully “ I thought I’d lost you and well I..”

“ Griss it doesn’t matter,” she told him sadly, a tear escaping to roll down her cheek “ we’re together now.”

“ Yes we are,” he told her, as he leaned over to kiss the tear away from her face, its salty wetness glistening on his lips. He lingered there for a long moment before trailing a line of butterfly kisses over her cheek to her lips, kissing her with all the love and passion he felt. Her lips took what he offered her, greedily pulling him deeper into their kiss.

Grissom felt her arms come up around his neck to join in his hair as their kiss deepened, lulling them both into a world full of love.

Slowly, reluctantly they pulled away, their lips still clinging to each other in tiny kisses unwilling to be apart. “ Sara,” he whispered between kisses.

“Shh..”

She silenced the words he wanted to say by kissing him again, opening her mouth to take the words from his lips. He was powerless. He sank into her willingly, kissing her back with a passion he never thought he would ever possess. His body wanted her, bringing with it an alarm bell in his head telling him this wasn’t the time or the place, she was still healing. Breaking the kiss soundly, he pulled back, shocked to see the passion in her eyes matching his. She was breathing heavily, her cheeks flushed with wanton passion.

“ When you’re better,” he sighed heavily, moving closer to press his forehead against hers.

She nodded her head, her eyes closed at the feelings he had erupted in her. Here she was, recovering from a wound that still caused her pain and all she could think of was his hands on her body, taking her to ecstasy.

“ Yes,” she said on a shuddered whimper, unwilling to let him go, even for a second. Slowly as he disentangled himself from her arms, he moved to sit back on her bad, a ‘safe’ distance from her lips. As their hands reached for each other again, she was contented to just lay back and drown in his gaze, feeling the stroking of his fingers lulling her into sleep.

Griss watched her closing eyes, feeling the contented haze wash over his soul. He loved this woman with everything he was. Life, he thought as he continued his gentle strokes, was pretty damn good right now.

 

 

A few hours later, Sara had fallen into a peaceful sleep. She seemed to be healing a lot better now and was much more relaxed. Grissom watched her as she slept, feeling a peacefulness come over him.

Sara’s nurse came quietly into the room offering him a smile, her eyes scanning the cards and flowers in the room. She hadn’t seen as many loving tokens in one room before, just another sign that this woman was very much loved.

Grissom smiled up at her, his hand still entwined with Sara’s on the bed. “ Sara’s friend Catherine is dropping by soon to sit with her. I’m going to go home and get cleaned up, can you do me a favour and not throw her out?”

The nurse chuckled despite her better judgment as she checked Sara’s chart “ Well technically it is only partners that are allowed to stay, but I know by experience if I ask one of you to leave you always seem to sneak back in again.”

“ Well we love her,” he smiled, his eyes drifting back over to Sara’s face. He kept his voice deliberately low, almost a whisper “ she’s a special p pson.”

“ I can see that,” she nodded.

 Shifting in her sleep, Sara stirred and started to open her eyes. She searched for him through tired eyes, granting him a sleepy smile as his face came into view, “ Hey.”

“ Hey honey,” he smiled, leaning over to kiss her “ how you feeling?”

“ Sore,” she sighed softly, “and really tired. Am I supposed to be this tired?”

Grissom’s eyes left hers to question the nurse that came to stand beside her bed “ It’s normal Sara,” she smiled “Your body is healing itself and sleep is one of the best healers.”

“ Oh,” she sighed, her eyes closing again “ok,” she mumbled.

Chuckling, Griss lifted himself off the bed to come and stand beside her. Leaning down he pressed a gentle kiss on her hair, rousing her slightly so he could see her eyes.

“ Hey,” he whispered lovingly, his voice soft like velvet “ I’m gonna go for an hour and freshen up while you sleep ok, I’ll be back soon.”

She managed a lazy smile as she gazed up at him, her eyes filled with sleepy longing “ Hurry back.”

“ You won’t even know I’m gone,” he smiled as he leaned down to kiss her softly. Lifting his head away from her, he could see the smile lingering on her lips where his had just been.

 “ I’ll know,” she told him on a sigh “ I can feel you.” Her eyes seemed to be fighting to stay awake, not wanting to miss a second of his presence. “ I know honey,” he told her softly, as he bent to kiss her eyelids closed “ sleep now, I’ll be back soon.”

 

Walking to his car, Grissom had never felt this happiness before, so as he climbed into his car and started the engine, he failed to notice a familiar woman in her car watching him. She watched as he drove away, waiting until he was out of sight completely before she pulled off her sunglasses and opened her door to step outside. Grabbing her bag out of the seat she delved her hand inside trying to find the small box that seemed to be elusive underneath all the papers. Finding it with her fingers she pulled it out, a satisfied smile on her face. Opening the tiny box she looked down at the delicate diamond ring that sat encased in the foam protectively. Reaching in, she pulled out the ring to place it on her wedding finger, a satisfied smile forming on her face.

Looking around her, she started to make her way towards the hospital entrance, this Sara Sidle would know once and for all that she had no place in Gil Grissom’s heart.

 

Caroline made her way through the sterile corridors, before coming to the information desk. She waited patiently for the computer operator to look up and smiled “ I’m here to see my niece Sara Sidle, could you tell me which room she’s in please?”

Tapping the keys for information, she looked back up and smiled “ Yes she’s in room 8A, just along the corridor.”

“ Thank you,” Caroline spoke as she walked away, her fingers twisting the ring on her finger nervously.

Her heels clattered along the floors as she approached Sara’s room, not knowing anything about this woman except that she had stolen Gil from her in one swift moment, and she was going to claim him back. Nearing the room she looked in. As soon as she saw the woman in the bed she took a double take, she recognized her from the restaurant, the same woman that Gil had defended when she put her down. The same woman he had called beautiful. Her heart began to thump wildly in her chest and for a second she considered walking away but the jealousy reared up again to take a hold of her senses and she found herself walking further into the room.

Caroline stood beside her bed, staring down at the sleeping woman. She was young, she observed, a lot younger than Gil, maybe too young.

Sara’s eyes began to flutter open slowly, her eyes trying to focus “ Griss?” she mumbled, reaching out a hand for him.

Caroline stood perfectly still, not knowing whether to run or to stay and confront her. As Sara’s eyes came fully open to stare at her, she knew she couldn’t turn back now.

“ Uh hello,” she muttered quickly, her body shaking from both anger and fear “ I wanted to talk to you.”

Sara tried to focus her eyes on the woman, wondering if maybe this was just a figment of her drug induced imagination. Blinking away the tiredness in her eyes she spoke slowly “ You were with Griss the other night?”

“ Yes I was,” Caroline answered, smiling cruelly “ In fact I was still with him when he got the call you’d been hurt.”

Sara’s mind was swimming; she had overheard Nicky asking Grissom what took him so long. She blinked her eyes a few times trying to clear her head, her heart already beginning to beat with dread, “ But he was here.”

“ Yes he was, but he came home to me once you were asleep. He was very worried about you.” Caroline was enjoying this immensely, “ he wanted to wait before telling you our news, but I just can’t keep it to myself any longer.”

Sara felt her chest begin to grow tight; her eyes swam with tears as she forced herself to listen to this woman, her voice causing her head to ache.

“ Gil asked me to marry him the night you was hurt,” she watched the colour drain from Sara’s face, as she carried on her verbal lies, “he didn’t want to tell you until you were out of hospital, but I told him I’d tell you instead.”

“ But, he just left,” Sara’s body was shaking; the pain in her chest began to ache as the tears came tumbling down her cheeks.

“ I’m sorry dear,” Caroline smiled “ he felt sorry for you that’s all, he told me as much just now before he left.” Her eyes scanned over the flowers on the cabinet, another bubbling assault forming on her lips “ I brought the flowers for him to give to you, men don’t seem to know anything do they?”

“ Please leave,” Sara begged, as her hand began pressing the alarm button beside her bed frantically. Her whole body was shaking with tears, “ GO,” she yelled, painful sobs overtaking her small body.

Sara’s nurse ran into the room, pushing Caroline out of the way “ Sara,” she asked firmly “ Sara listen to me, you have to calm down.” Blood had started to seep through the cotton of Sara’s shirt, indicating that some of the stitches had come open “ Sara come on, I need to have a look at you.”

Sara didn’t seem to hear her as she sobbed uncontrollably on the bed; huge whacking sobs rocking her body making more blood seep through her shirt.

Caroline’s eyes watched in horror at the scene before her, she had only wanted to warn her off not cause this. Quietly she moved towards the door, making her escape before anyone would notice and walked smack bang into Catherine.

“ Excuse me,” Caroline muttered, trying to avoid the woman’s eyes.

“ I know you,’ Catherine nodded “you were at the lab yesterday, Sara’s aunt right?”

She was about to answer when a doctor came racing down the corridor towards Sara’s room, breaking into a screeching halt outside her door.

“ WHAT DID YOU DO?” Catherine yelled as she heard Sara’s sobs, shaking Caroline roughly, demanding an answer. She clamped a hand on Caroline’s shoulder “ Stay where you are.”

“ I have work.”

“ Well that’s just too bad isn’t it?” she said angrily as she pulled out her phone.

“ Who are you calling?” Caroline’s eyes were wide like saucers; she realized she had just made a terrible mistake.

 

Ten minutes later, Grissom came into the hospital breathlessly. He had barely had chance to grab a quick shower when he’d received the frantic call from Catherine. His mind was racing. Something was wrong with Sara; he didn’t have the details, all he knew was that Catherine had told him to get here, so he had. He rounded the corner towards Sara’s room then came to a sudden halt as he saw who was with Catherine.

“ Gil,” Catherine barely tried to disguise the anger in her voice as she stepped closer towards them.

His eyes fixed on Caroline the beat of his heart increasing as he slowly started to realize what was going on “ You saw Sara?”

“ I’m sorry Gil,” her eyes were streaming with tears as she looked up at him, “ I only wanted to warn her off that’s all.”

“ Warn her off?” he asked incredulously, anger rising in his voice “ Warn her off what? Off me?” The anger in his voice matching the anger in his eyes “, I told you it was over.” He kept his voice deliberately low, the anger dripping from every word as he directed his blazing gaze directly into her eyes.

“ Hang on a second,” Catherine stepped in, directing her voice towards Caroline “ you mean to tell me that you came here to my friend while she is still recovering from a stab wound?” the barely contained anger in her voice started to break free as the realization of the situation began to hit “ You couldn’t wait until she was out of hospital?”

“ I needed to see her for myself,” Caroline kept her voice quiet, her eyes darting to Grissom for help when she saw the thunder in Catherine’s eyes.

Grissom shook his head at her angrily and turned away trying to control the anger coursing through his body. He tried to focus on Sara, bringing her face to his mind to stop him from lashing out at the woman who had caused this whole mess. He needed to see Sara but the door to her room remained closed. All kinds of thoughts raced through his head, what the hell had gone on in that room?

“ Oh you’ll see something alright,” Catherine seethed angrily as her hand balled into a fist. Caroline was so shocked that she didn’t have time to react as Catherine connected with her face, knocking her onto her backside.

“ That’s for Sara you bitch,” she told her as she bent close to her ear “ you ever go near her again I’ll come after you and I’ll kick your ass so hard you’ll be begging me to stop.”

Grissom turned around as he heard the loud smack, his eyes growing wide at the sight of Caroline on the floor with Catherine looming over her. He should have been shocked, but he wasn’t. Catherine had always been one to act on impulse, and her fierceness to protect her friends usually overtook logical thinking. Slowly he began walking towards them, his eyes suddenly noticing the ring sparkling on Caroline’s finger.

“ Oh my god,” he shuddered, as the truth hit him hard making him catch his breath “ you told her I gave you that didn’t you?”

Caroline pulled herself to stand up again, tears falling down her now bruising cheek “ Gil?”

“ You told her I had asked you to marry me?” He was seething, moving towards her slowly his eyes blazing.

“ I’m sorry, I thought..”

“ You thought what?” he growled, “ that I could ever ask you that question? How the hell could I do that when the only woman I have loved for the last ten years is in that room?” His hand pointed behind him without taking his eyes off of her “ I despise you,” he told her angrily as he turned away.

“ Gil?” she whimpered, her eyes following him as he moved away “please?”

“ Hey,” Catherine loomed closer once more “ word of advice, get your sorry ass out of here before I kick it out.”

“ Are you threatening me?” Caroline asked her angrily, her eyes still on the man pacing outside the hospital door.

“ Let’s see. You caused major injury to my friend who just happens to be a CSI, which of course is a crime in itself, you premeditated the crime by falsifying information, oh and of course there’s my own personal favourite,” Catherine stepped closer to her, “ you’re an out and out bitch, so yeah I’m threatening you.”

Caroline gulped visibly, her eyes darting towards the exit and Catherine “ I should go.”

“ Yeah you should, oh and don’t even think of coming back here or contacting Gil when you think this has all blown over,” the warning in Catherine’s eyes was enough to strike fear in any mortal being “ I will find you, I promise you.”

Ripping the ring from her fingers defeated, she dropped it on the floor, “They deserve each other,” Caroline spat angrily as she moved away, fixing her eyes on the exit. Calmly replacing her sunglasses over her eyes she moved towards the doors without looking back.

 

Grissom began pacing up and down outside Sara’s door. He was going crazy, his need to see her and reassure her that whatever Caroline had told her was all lies, burned deep inside his heart. His beautiful Sara, the one woman he had ever considered asking that one question to was in that room, thinking now that he had lied, that his spoken words of love and affection had been a mere act of sympathy. He had to make her understand, to believe that the trust in his heart had never faltered in her, that whatever had divided them before all this mess would never happen again, that he needed her to fill the huge void in his life and in his heart.

A hand came to rest on his shoulder, calming his strides. He turned to see Catherine smiling at him gently “ Come on Gil, when there’s any news the doctor will come and find us.”

“ I need to be in there with her,” he told her, his voice cracking with the overwhelming need to see her.

“ And you will be,” she soothed “ she’s going to need you to reassure her that what that bitch told her was a pack of lies.”

He smiled slightly at her referral “ You know I don’t think I’ve heard you use that term so many times in such a short time frame before.”

“ Well what can I say, she pissed me off,” she grinned.

He nodded his head slowly, he couldn’t blame her, the thought had risen in his mind more than once but he was too much of a gentleman to say it.

Just then, the door to Sara’s room opened as the doctor stepped out. He saw Grissom turn to him, questions in his eyes. “ Ms Sidle is going to be fine, she managed to burst a few stitches. I want her to have as little stress as possible, so keep it short ok?”

“ Ok,” Griss nodded, as he moved into the room. The nurse looked up as he entered, her eyes returning to Sara’s sad face.

“ Five minutes that’s all,” she told him.

He nodded, walking over to Sara’s bed and sat on the edge “ Sara?” he asked.

She kept her eyes trained on the ceiling, refusing to let him see the hurt in her eyes. Tears ran freely down her cheeks, her chest shaking slightly.

“ Sweetheart,” he spoke softly as he reached to take one of her hands “ I don’t know what she told you, but..”

“ When were you going to tell me?” she asked through tears, her voice shaking.

“ It’s not true, any of what she told you, I promise you Sara, and none of it is the truth.” He reached out his other hand to cradle it between both of his “ I love you Sara, only you.”

Sara wanted to believe him, wanted to let the love she felt inside rein free over her soul so she could ease this aching pain that had nothing to do with her injuries, she wanted to trust him.

“ She said you were only here out of sympathy, that you felt sorry for me,” she spoke, her eyes closing briefly only to open again and fix firmly on his face “ I believed you there for a while you know?”

“ Sara?” he pleaded, “ I would never knowingly hurt you, ever, you know me well enough to know that.”

“ I thought I did,” she sniffed, her eyes flowing with emotion “ but maybe I just wanted to believe that you wasn’t like the other men.” She pulled her hand from his grasp “ More fool me for letting you in. I knew there was a reason I didn’t do this before, love and me don’t mix.”

“ Sara please believe me,” he was desperate, he could feel her slipping away from him and he didn’t know what to do to make her see that he was here, always, holding both of them up in a world that was full of murderers and hateful people. She was his lifeline, the only person in this whole damn world that knew the real him. Her eyes had closed again, her head turned away from him in a bid to shut him out, but the trembling of her body only confirmed what he already knew, she was hurting.

“ Sara,” he told her again, moving off the bed to stand closer to her head “ I love you, I have always loved you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you believe in me again, I promise you.”

Leaning over he placed a kiss in her hair, nuzzling his face against her soft strands. He felt her shake beside him, a muffled sob coming from somewhere deep inside her throat as more tears slipped from her closed eyes.

“ I believe in you Griss,” she whispered hoarsely, her tears mingling with her words “ I want to trust you.”

“ I love you,” he told her again “ Believe me when I found out what she had done I told her a few things about you that she could never match up to.”

“ She said a lot of stuff Griss,” her eyes opened to focus on his again as his hand snaked up to her cheek to wipe the tears away from her face “ she told me you went home to her after leaving here.”

“ Honey I did go to hers when I left here, but that was to tell her it was over between her and I, that’s all. I told her, she yelled at me and I left. I came back here to be with you. Today was the first time I left you, I swear to you Sara, there is no way I would ever choose any other woman over you.”

Sara heard his words trickle into her heart warming the coldness that had formed there, melting it away to give her the hope of his love. Now as she gazed into his deep blue waters she knew that what she saw there shining right back at her was the truth. The truth that the love in his deep depths was real and all for her. Slowly, he moved closer to brush his lips against hers sealing a promise that he would love her forever. They shared the briefest of kisses in that one single moment but it held a promise of a lifetime, pouring all the love in their hearts into one simple action, confirming that the truth held them together and no one else. As he came to sit on her bed again, he held out his hand to take hers in his again, stroking his fingers across her skin as she closed her eyes. “Stay with me,” she whispered on the cusp of sleep, holding on tightly to his hand.

His eyes shone with unshed tears as he leant close to her ear “ Always,” he whispered before planting a soft kiss on her cheek before sitting back to watch her sleep.

 

Catherine let out a sad sigh from the doorway as she watched the scene unfold before her. She had known Gil a long time and in all those years had never heard him express his love openly for anyone before. He’d always been the one person closed off to everyone, letting no one in close enough to break through the defensive barriers protecting his heart.

Her eyes wandered over to the woman in the bed, her eyes now closed in an unsettled sleep. The two of them had only recently started to become close friends, overcoming the untrusting hurdles that had been erected between them, and she couldn’t help but feel the pangs of regret for all the time they had wasted before becoming friends.

 

Sara’s head started to move as painful mumblings left her mouth with a groan. She turned uncomfortably, her eyes snapping open as a wave of pain soared through her chest making his draw in a ragged breath.

“ Sara?” Grissom was there in an instant, his hand combing through her hair trying to sooth away her pain.

“ Hurt’s,” she breathed, scrunching up her face into a tight ball her hand squeezing his, turning her knuckles white. From her place at the doorway, Catherine came further into the room to stand on the other side of her bed. She reached out to take her hand, urging her to turn her face towards her “ Sara honey,” she soothed “ look at me.”

Sara complied, her breath raged as wave after wave of pain soared through her body, making her stomach roll violently.

“ Gil get the doctor,” Catherine ordered as she tried to calm her down. For a moment he didn’t hear her, his worried eyes still focused on the woman he loved, unwilling to leave her side.

“ Gil,” Catherine told him again, urging him to leave, her voice rising a little higher.

 It took all of two seconds for her words to register before he jumped up from her bed, looking back to Sara one last time as he raced out of the door.

“ It’s ok Sara,” Catherine told her softly, stroking her hand to ease her pain “ we’ll get you some pain relief and you’ll be ok, just stay calm, it’ll be ok.”

“ I’m,” Sara hissed through her teeth “ not in,” she wheezed “ labour.”

“ That’s our Sara,” Catherine smiled through tears “you fight girl, you hear me?”

Sara cracked open her eyes to look up at her painfully “ Tired Cath,” she moaned. Her other hand moved to the opposite side of the bed, searching for the other hand that had been reassuring her with it’s love. Unable to feel him, she turned her head trying to find him.

“ It’s ok,” Catherine told her, “ he’s gone to get the doctor, he’ll be back soon,” she laid a hand on Sara’s face, turning her head to face her “ he loves you so much Sara, never doubt that.”

Before she could answer Griss came back into the room with Sara’s doctor in tow. He came around to the bed to place his hand on her head. “ It’s alright Sara,” the doctor told her “ I’ll give you something for the pain ok, but you have to promise me you are not going to have an episode like earlier.”

“ I can promise you she will not,” Grissom told him angrily “ now can you give her the damn pain relief, she’s hurting.”

“ I assure you Mr. Grissom she will receive the best treatment I have to offer, now if you and ms..” his eyes turned to Catherine.

“ Willows,” she supplied helpfully.

“Ms Willows would leave the room,” he continued “ I can have the nurse administer the pain relief and get Sara settled.”

“ Alright,” Grissom nodded unwillingly, catching Sara’s eyes as he moved away.

“ Griss?” she gasped.

“ It’s ok, I’ll just be outside,” he soothed “ two minutes ok and I’ll be back here.”

“ Ok,” she told him, her eyes closing again as a wave of pain coursed through her chest. He barely had time to answer before he and Catherine were ushered out of the room, the door closing firmly behind them.

“ Damn doctor,” Grissom cursed as he resumed his pacing. He wanted to be in there with her, not stuck out here like some unwelcome visitor.“ Why the hell didn’t he give her pain meds before? Why leave her to get this far?”

“ She was thrashing so hard they couldn’t give her two things at once without making her sick. You really think her heaving her guts up would help the situation any?” When he carried on pacing, she resorted to the only thing she knew he would listen to

“ Gil, will you stop already,” she snapped “ they’re doing their best for her, so quit cursing and go for a walk or something.”

His eyes turned towards her abruptly, unsure if he had heard her right but as soon as he met her angry eyes he knew, and came to sit beside her with a heavy sigh.

“ Look, I’ll go and call Nick and Warrick,” she told him, a hand snaking out to rub his shoulder “don’t fall apart now Gil, she needs you to be strong. If she sees you like this she’ll take longer to recover.”

He watched her as she rose out of her seat, feeling her words wash over his heart with the knowing truth “ Thanks Cath,” he nodded as she began to walk away “ You’re right.”

“ I’m always right,” she smiled at him as she pulled her cell phone from her pocket and walked towards the exit.

He watched her leave, a smile tugging at his lips. He knew she would pull him up and set him on his feet again, she always did. The smile left his lips as the door to Sara’s room opened and he was allowed back. He was there in a heartbeat, stopping beside her bed as he gazed down into her now peaceful face “ I’m here,” he whispered into her ear, delighted by the tiny smile that appeared on her lips.

“ I felt you,” she whispered as she turned her face into his hand, letting him sooth her into restful slumber.

 

 

                                                            EPILOGUE

 

 Six weeks later, Sara had pretty much healed fully, letting Grissom take over caring for her. The two had become so much closer since her release from the hospital. Both of them letting their love take possession, embedding their hearts so deeply that they could never bear to be apart again.

He had insisted she come and stay with him at his town house while she recovered. At the same time taking full advantage of their time together before she returned to work.

Grissom watched her from the doorway of his bedroom, a smile on his lips. He couldn’t believe she was here, in his bed wearing nothing but his shirt. He could never give her up now, he knew they were both in too deep to ever let go. He needed her to make his life complete, in the way that only she ever could.

Moving further into the room, he came to sit on the edge of the bed and watched her as she slept. His mind wandered over to the time he almost lost her because of a woman enraged in jealousy. His whole body shook slightly at the thought of her lies, and the fact that she had lied about something so personal, taking away the one thing that he had saved just for Sara. Caroline had lied to Sara about his asking her to marry him, something that he would never ask yet, not until the timing was right. Moving closer to her he placed a soft kiss on her lips, rousing her from sleep. “mmMMmm,” she moaned happily, keeping her eyes closed, relishing the feel of his soft lips on hers.

“ If you’re coming into work you had better be getting up,” he smiled as he moved beside her, reaching out to stroke a lazy hand over her thigh.

Her eyes drifted open slowly, catching his gaze. The love she saw in his eyes made her catch her breath; surely no one had a right to be this happy? She didn’t know how this had came to be but for whatever reason she thanked the heavens for him, the man she couldn’t live without. Turning her gaze to look up at him longingly, she smiled her most seductive smile “ I have a better idea,” she told him as she reached out a hand to pull him down beside her “ I think you need to lie down,” she told him  “ you look tired.”

 He couldn’t help the happy chuckle that rumbled through his chest as she captured him beneath her, commanding his full attention by placing soft kisses down his throat. All thoughts of objecting scattered to the far corners of the universe as she captured his lips with her own, relishing the feel of his hands tackling the buttons on her shirt to expose her soft skin. And as she dipped deeper into his kisses she was lost forever, willingly taking him into her body and soul, giving him everything she possessed. Giving him everything she was, by loving him, bringing him to heaven all over again.

As they sank back down to earth again, both of them glistening with their lovemaking. Grissom thought he had never felt so perfect in all his life. Sara smiled into his chest, planting tiny kisses where her head lay. She had never felt so happy ever before; she doubted nothing could make this any more perfect than it already was. She felt herself shiver lightly as his hands raked gentle fingers in lazy circles over her back. Her eyes closed on their own, surrendering herself totally to him.

“ Sara?” Grissom spoke then, the words he wanted to say bubbling on the tip of his tongue. She lifted her head to smile into his eyes and knew she was lost. He could ask anything of her now and she could never deny him.

His hands came up to cup her face, holding her above his securely as he asked the words that he had wanted to ask her for weeks, “Marry me?”

She rewarded him with an earth shattering smile as she gazed down at him again, shattering his world into a glistening globe of love as she smiled into his eyes, her voice sealing the promise of forever in a single word “ yes,” she murmured as their lips met again, safe in their knowledge that they were forever…………..