Silent intruder

By Amanda Hawthorn

RATING: PG-13

PAIRING: Grissom/Sara romance, Nick/Sara friendship

CATEGORY: Angst/ romance

ARCHIVE: Sara and Grissom

FEEDBACK: Love it, but no flames please I’m fragile!!

EMAIL: Tealcette@aol.com

SUMMARY Griss and Catherine inadvertently discover things about Sara that were kept secret and Sara’s past comes back to haunt her

DISCLAIMER: CSI belongs to CBS and Alliance-Atlantis Productions. No
infringement intended.

AUTHORS’ NOTES: I’ve had this written for a while, but never posted it.

***

Nick eased himself down onto Sara’s couch, grimacing at the pain, which shot, through his chest. Every part of his body ached. Sara had stepped in and offered him her spare room for a few days while the ceiling in his apartment was repaired. She was his best friend, the one he could always turn to in a crisis, and she always had a knack of cheer him up. They’d shared many secrets with each other over the past few months. He had finally told her of the time he was abused, and felt the huge relief of being able to tell someone the whole story. She’d listened, and she’d cried but most of all she shared the one secret with him that she had kept from everyone else, and it rocked him to his very core.

He looked up as she came in from the kitchen, carrying a glass of water and handing it to him, before sitting down on the couch beside him.

“Are you sure you’re ok? I can stay if you want me to.”

He turned his head and smiled affectionately at her, she was probably the most important person in his life. The little sister he had always wanted, and he loved her.

“I’ll be fine,” he told her as he reached up to push her hair behind her ear.

“ If you need me you call me ok? There’s food in the cupboards, help yourself.” She told him as she leaned over to kiss his forehead.

“ You bet,” he grinned “ now leave me be woman so I can sleep.”

Sara pulled herself to her feet, grinning wildly “ No wild parties unless you invite me.”

“Are you kidding, you’ll be the first on my list,” he watched her walking towards the door.

Before closing it behind her she turned “ Remember, call if you need me?”

“ I will now scat or Grissom will have your hide,” he chuckled. As soon as the words left his mouth he knew it was a mistake. She was in love with that man, and all he did was cause her heartache.

“ Sara, I’m sorry, I didn’t think,” his eyes watched hers, seeing the small sheen of tears pooling in her eyes.

“It’s ok Nicky,” she told him quietly “, and you get better ok?”

“ Listen how about we watch one of those movies you like so much when you get back,” he told her, struggling to get off the sofa “ we can have dinner, anything you like.”

Her face lit up with a huge smile as she beamed at him “ Ok, I’ll bring dinner and you get some sleep.”

She watched as he walked to the door, taking her hand and kissing it “ I’ll see you later.”

Smiling up at him she moved into his arms and pulled him closer to her “ Love you sweetie,” she said kissing his head.

“ I love you too, now go,” he grinned at her, watching as she made her way down to her car.

Smiling he closed the door and returned to sit on the couch as sleep came to claim him.

Grissom sat in his office with Catherine watching another tape from the batch they had found at the stalkers house. Popping another one into the machine, he waved to Sara, indicating her to come into his office.

. “ How’s Nicky?”

“ He’s a little sore, but otherwise ok,” she told him, her eyes moving to the television.

“ My god,” Catherine said in disbelief “ I can’t believe that he was watching Nicky all this time without being noticed.”

Sara’s eyes flew to Catherine, then back to the screen, suddenly feeling sick.

“ What?” she said warily “ he was watching?”

“ Yeah,” Grissom looked up at her pale face “ for months apparently. Are you OK?”

Her eyes watched the screen in horror as she saw a grainy picture of her and Nick on his couch. Some intruder had listened in on a private conversation of her pouring out her heart.

“ Sara?” Grissom asked again, his eyes following hers to the screen.

“ Turn it off,” she ordered.

“ I beg your pardon?” He asked indignantly, watching her face growing paler.

“ Catherine,” she gasped, her eyes threatening with tears “ please just turn it off.”

Catherine looked over at her friend and reached out to turn off the TV when she heard her name mentioned. With morbid fascination, her eyes focused on the screen, listening intently.

Sara felt ready to throw up. She turned abruptly and practically ran out of the door, almost knocking Warrick over in her haste.

“ Hey Sara?” he called after her, but she’d gone before he could shout her name again. Moving over to Grissom/s office he opened the door “ Hey what’s up with Sara?”

His voice trailed away when he heard Sara’s emotional voice on the screen.

“ I think Catherine hates me,” she said.

Grissom and Catherine watched as Nick reached out to pull her into his arms “ No she doesn’t.”

“ She does,” she told him sadly “ I only came here because Grissom asked me, I didn’t want to get in her way or make her think that I was a threat.”

“ Honey you are not in anyone’s way,” he said soothingly “ Catherine just takes time to get to know people that’s all.”

“ I’m so tired of all this Nick,” she said sadly “ I’m considering taking that job offer at Quantico.”

“ What,” he sat her up “ Honey promise me you won’t do anything hasty.”

“ I’ve thought about it a lot Nick,” she sighed, “ it would solve everyone’s problems.”

“What problems?”

“ Catherine could go back to the way she was before. I could finally put Grissom behind me and try to move on. He doesn’t have the feelings for me that he once had, and I am too tired to try any more.”

“ You know you’ve always got me,” he said softly pulling her into his arms “ he’s a fool to have let you go.”

“ Yeah that’s what I tried to tell myself, but I wonder if he ever really did love me,” she told him sadly.

“ Come on,” he smiled as he pulled her to her feet “ get some sleep, I’ll take the couch tonight.”

“ I am tired,” she yawned taking his hand as he led her to the bedroom.

The screen went blank, Catherine’s mouth was gaping open “ I had no idea she thought I hated her, I didn’t mean to make her feel that way.”

“ Yeah well if you ask me we’re all to blame,” Warrick sighed as he moved to the door.

“ Where are you going?” Catherine asked him, her stomach rolling in waves of nausea.

“ Well for starters I have to find Sara, she needs a friend right now,” he said, closing the door behind him.

Catherine jumped up to follow him “ Warrick wait, I’m coming with you.”

Grissom ‘s heart felt heavy, as he sat alone in his now quiet office. How could he have ignored the pain she was in, when it was so obvious to others? Right now he felt raw, exposed, betrayed even. No the biggest emotion he could feel burning inside him now was jealousy, jealousy that she couldn’t come to him, but she could open her heart to Nick?

Standing angrily, his hand moved over to eject the tape when the screen came to life again. As Sara’s voice could be heard again, he knew he should turn off the machine, but something stopped him. Sara. His Sara was crying.

“ Please Nick,” she sobbed, “ Make his face go away.”

Nick was rocking her, his arms holding her tight “ It’s ok Sara, it’s ok.”

“ No it’s not ok,” she cried, huge whacking sobs coming from her tiny body “ make the nightmares stop, please make them stop.”

“ Shh,” he soothed running a hand over her hair “ look I’m gonna call Grissom.”

“ NO,” her voice became one of panic, “ don’t, he’ll blame me, he’ll hate me.”

“Honey no he won’t,” he told her firmly “ A man attacked you, that wasn’t your fault.”

Grissom stared at the screen, frantically trying to process what he was hearing. Someone hurt Sara? Some man? Anger began building in his chest at the thought of anyone touching her.

“ I was mad at him for leaving,” she sobbed, “ He told me not to go out that night while I was so upset.” She moved away from Nick, huge tears rolling down her face “ I was so mad at him.” Her voice trailed off as she sat back pulling her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them.

“ He’ll hate me,” she sobbed quietly, her head buried into her knees “ I know he will.”

 Grissom watched as Nick crawled over the bed beside her and held her while she cried. Emotion washed through him with the images he’d seen. He needed to see her, how could she think he could hate her?

The screen faded to black, and he pulled the tape out with disgust. Without a second thought, he grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.

Down the corridor, Catherine stuck her head around Greg’s lab door “ Hey Greg has Sara come by this way?” she asked.

His head shot up, “No, was she supposed to?”

“ Doesn’t matter,” she snapped before calling to Warrick “ She’s not here either.”

Greg watched until they were out of sight before he went over to his desk. Crouching down he moved to touch Sara’s arm      “ It’s ok Sara they’ve gone.”

“ Thanks,” she whispered, shying away from his touch before climbing to her feet “ I owe you Greg.”

“ Well, you know you could come out with me sometime?” he smiled hopefully.

His eyes searched her pale face, alarmed at the tears lying unshed in her eyes. He couldn’t remember a time when he had ever seen her cry “ Are you ok?”

“ I’m,” she stopped, rubbing a weary hand over her face “ I need to go.”

“ You know you don’t look too hot, you want me to get you some water or something?” He moved to touch her arm.

Sara jumped away from him as if he had burned her with his hand. Turning to face him, her eyes were ablaze with fire,

“ DON’T TOUCH ME,” she spat through gritted teeth “ Don’t you EVER touch me.”

Greg snatched his arm away, and watched dumbfounded as her face went paler, as if the blood had drained out of her body.

“ I’m sorry,” he stepped backwards, moving swiftly away from her and watched helplessly as she bent over to promptly throw up into his bin.

He didn’t know what to do; there was something wrong with her, something really wrong. Without a backwards glance he made his way out of his lab in search of their boss.

Grissom almost smacked into Greg as he came running round the corner. “ What the hell,” Grissom growled “ Greg, I don’t have time for this.”

“ It’s Sara,” Greg panted, bending to rest his hands on his knees.

“ What about Sara?” Griss asked, shaking Greg’s shoulder impatiently.

“ There’s something wrong,” Greg raised himself up and began walking with Grissom back towards his lab “ she came in to see me and asked me not to tell anyone I’d seen her and then she freaked when I touch her.”

“ WHAT?” Grissom stopped, grabbing Greg’s arm in a vice like grip “ You touched her?”

“ Hey man,” Greg gulped “ I only wanted to make sure she was ok, that’s all. I didn’t do anything. I wouldn’t do that to her.”

Sighing heavily, Grissom tried to calm his breathing, “ I’m sorry,” he released his grip of the younger mans arm “where is she now?”

“ In my lab, throwing up, that’s when I left her to come find you.”

They came to a stop outside the glass window where Sara was hunched over in a chair, head in her arms breathing in shuddering breaths. Greg moved to the doorway when Griss pulled him back “ Take a break Greg.”

“I..” he started to protest until he saw the thunderous glare from Grissom’s eyes. Moving backwards he stuck a thumb over his shoulder “ I’ll er, I’ll take a break.”

Grissom moved slowly into the room, coming to stop beside her shaking body “ Sara?” he said softly.

“ Go away,” she wailed into her folded arms.

“ I’m afraid I can’t do that,” his tone was gentle and caring “ please look at me.”

When she didn’t respond, he reached out a hand to touch her back. She tensed under his hands, until he moved her around so he could see her face.

“ Oh Sara,” he gasped.

“ I asked you to turn it off,” her voice was devoid of emotion, scaring him for a moment “ that conversation was private, you had no right to listen.”

“ Sara, when this involves us I have every right.” He reached down to one of her hands “ why couldn’t you have come to me with this? Why did you go to Nicky?”

“ Us?” she said through gritted teeth “ You made it clear there would never be an us. So why the hell do you care now? And what the hell has it got to do with you who I confide in? Nicky was there for me, he listened when I needed someone, and anyway, you left without even casting a second thought of how I was feeling. You gave up that right when you left me.”

“That’s not how it was Sara,” he tried to keep his voice low “ I had to leave.”

Their eyes met squarely, the pain and anguish shone intensely from her eyes, making him draw in a shuddered breath.

“ Is that what you told HIM?” she turned on him angrily “ Is that why HE tried to….?” Her voice broke off.

“ Sara,” he pleaded, “ please tell me what happened? I need to know”

She turned away from him; tears falling unchecked down her face “ You want to know?” she laughed bitterly “ you really want to know?”

“ Yes, Sara I need to know what happened to you.” As he spoke, Catherine and Warrick came to a stop in the doorway. He held up his hand to stop them from speaking.

“ I loved you,” she spoke in a quiet voice “ I really loved you.”

“ I know,” he stepped closer “ I loved you too.”

“ But not anymore?” her eyes closed, tears leaking out the sides of her eyes.

“ That is something for us to discuss another time,” he told her quietly “ but I need you to help me understand what happened to you.”

“ What is there to understand?” she snapped angrily, “ you left, you made your choice.”

“ Sara,” he asked again, trying to stop his voice from raising a notch “ Who hurt you?”

She was quiet for a long moment, her shoulders shaking as she kept her back turned from him. He was about to speak her name again when he heard her voice speaking quietly “ He called me your little whore.”

Grissom felt his heart jolt, thudding painfully in his chest “ Sara?”

“ He said that as you were leaving he wouldn’t mind getting some of what you had,” her voice was shaking heavily “ Grissom’s little whore, that’s what he called me. He took something so pure and perverted it into something disgusting.”

“ Who called you that?” he asked, his voice rising in anger “ tell me his name and I swear I will make him pay.”

With his words she turned, her attackers name on her lips. Her eyes focused on Catherine and Warrick, then back to Grissom, his betrayal stopping her heart “ You bastard,” she sobbed, “ you total bastard.” He reached out a hand to calm her down, but she pulled away from him.

“ So you want the whole place to know do you?” angry tears rolled down her face “ thought you’d have a laugh at my expense?” She started to pace “ Ok, you want to know who tried to rape me then Grissom? Well I’ll tell you.” She turned on him; her eyes mixed with grief and anger “your best friend.”

Grissom’s body seemed to deflate as he sank into a chair, the colour drained from his face. Sara backed away from him, her tears coming in gulping sobs as she pushed past Catherine and Warrick to run down the corridor

Catherine’s eyes were wet with tears “ Sara,” she called, breaking into a run behind her “wait.”

“ Leave me alone,” she yelled, pushing the doors open with an angry shove.

Catherine caught her arm, pulling her to a halt. The pain in her friend’s eyes was too much to bear, so without thinking, she pulled her into her arms and rocked her while she sobbed.

“ It’s ok,” she soothed “ it’s ok.”

“ He hates me,” Sara sobbed painfully, clinging to Catherine desperately “he hates me.”

“ Oh Sara,” Catherine cried with her “ no he doesn’t, none of us do. I promise you.” She maneuvered them away from the prying eyes of unwelcome onlookers, taking her into the women’s washroom and locking the door.

Sitting them both down, she waited patiently until her sobs started to subside. Holding onto her hands she moved to brush the hair from Sara’s eyes “ We’re going to get through this ok?”

“ I want it to stop,” Sara sniffed, “ I should never have come here, this is all my fault.”

“ Sara,” Catherine told her firmly, making Sara’s eyes meet her own “ A man forced himself on you, honey that is not your fault, and as for not coming here?” She smiled tearfully “ Well I for one am glad you did.”

Sara’s eyes filled with tears again as she leaned into Catherine’s shoulder, drawing strength from their newfound bond.

“ We’ll work this out,” Catherine whispered sadly, leaning into her friend, offering her all the support she needed.

Grissom clenched his jaw, anger mixed with guilt eating away at his heart. “ Son of a bitch,” he cursed, crashing his fist onto the table with a loud bang, sending pens and paper flying to the floor.

“ Hey man, I’m with you on this,” Warrick seethed through clenched teeth “ I want to rip that guys heart out with my bare hands.”

“ No,” Grissom told him, his voice strangely low “ I am going to find him, and when I do he is going to pay, I will hunt him down and by god he will be sorry.”

“ No offence Griss,” Warrick snapped, “ I want justice for Sara too, but first I want that guys head.”

“ Justice?” Grissom looked up at him sharply “ He betrayed my trust and he hurt my Sara. I will give him justice for hurting her, I swear,” his voice trembled in anger. He hadn’t even noticed he’d referred to her as ‘my Sara’.

Standing up abruptly he stormed past Warrick, his face full of anger. His pulse rate thumped wildly in his throat as he marched into his office, slamming the door behind him.

“ Hey was that whirlwind Griss?” Greg joked as he came through the door. His eyes looked from Warrick to the floor of his lab “ Oh man, look at this.”

“ It’s paper Greg,” Warrick snapped angrily “ that’s all it is.” Turning, he left a confused Greg, who shook his head sighing, what was with everyone today?

In his office, Grissom sat at his desk, head in hands. The door opened slowly, as Warrick snaked his head around the door.

“ What?” Grissom said angrily.

“Look Griss I know you’re upset..”

“ Upset?” he asked, his head snapping up to meet Warrick’s worried eyes “ I am damn angry, no I am beyond angry. At this moment I want to find that bastard and kill him.”

“ I know you do and believe me there’s nothing I want more, but think of Sara. How’s she gonna feel if you wade in there with fists flying?” He came over to sit in a chair opposite Grissom’s desk “she’s kept this thing secret from all of us, hell she knew what you’d do if she told you.”

“ She confided in Nick,” Grissom told him, his eyes flashing with jealousy.

 Warrick nodded knowingly, things were starting to become clear “ So this isn’t just being angry, this is about Sara going to Nick for comfort.”

“ That’s enough Warrick,” Grissom warned dangerously, his jaw twitching in anger.

“ Look man, she loves Nick, those two are bound so tight I’m not surprised she went to him with this,” Warrick stood and walked towards the door “ Open your eyes Griss,” he told him before opening the door “ she loves Nick but she’s in love with you. She needs you.” Turning to look back at Griss before he closed the door he sighed “ Look, I’m gonna find the girls, Sara needs all of us, so stop thinking of ways to get even and concentrate on helping her through this.”

Grissom stared open mouthed as the door closed, leaving him alone again. Why was he shocked? He knew his own feelings for Sara had grown deeper over the years. There were times when he couldn’t breath just by the sheer sight of her. When had she become his life?

Getting to his feet, he moved to the door. Warrick was right, she needed his strength now and she would have it, for as long as she needed.

In the washroom, Catherine and Sara sat motionless. Catherine’s cell phone began ringing, making them both jump. “Sorry,” she smiled at Sara who she had nudged in her haste to answer.

“ Willows,” she snapped. She looked over at Sara who had hunched herself forward to rest her elbows on her knees.

She reached over to put a reassuring hand on Sara’s back “ Yeah she’s ok, we’re in the washroom. It’s alright we’re talking Warrick, just give us a few more minutes ok?”

She turned off the phone and looked worriedly at her friend “ That was Warrick, he’s worried about you.”

 “ He shouldn’t worry about me, I’m a bad person,” Sara said quietly, unmoving.

“ Why do you say that?” Catherine asked, reaching out to rub Sara’s arm.

“ He said I deserved it, that I wanted it,” she closed her eyes against the memories in her mind “ he accused me of sleeping with Griss to achieve, that I’d slept my way up to the top.”

Catherine pulled away to look into her face, holding firmly to her hands “ Sara, what did he do to you?”

“ I lied Catherine,” she whimpered, a tear escaping to roll down her face “ I wanted to protect Griss, I know how passionate he can be, especially when he needs to protect his friends.”

“ Sara?” Catherine was starting to get the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach “ Did he?” she stopped, drawing in a breath “ Was you raped?”

“ I tried to fight him off,” she whispered, her eyes focusing on the floor “ he was so close to my face, trying to kiss me but I kicked him and I think I bit him,” Sara’s eyes glazed over, zoning out into space, detaching herself from the demons that haunted her. “ He laughed at me and asked me if I liked playing rough with Griss. All I could think of was that I was alone, I’d lost Grissom that same day, and I’d lost the only man I would ever love. I don’t blame him for not wanting me, I don’t deserve anyone.”

“ Oh Sara, we all love you whether you think you deserve it or not. Something terrible happened to you, it wasn’t your fault.”

“ What if he was right? Maybe if I hadn’t gone out that night, maybe if I hadn’t worn that skirt,” she turned tearful eyes to Catherine “ I loved Griss, I really did. I didn’t spend time with him to get higher marks, you have to believe me.”

Catherine gasped, pulling her into hug her again “ Honey I never doubted you, and you are not the one to blame, you hear me? But you have got to tell Griss. The man raped you, he has to be punished for what he did to you, and Griss can help you do that.”

 “ I can’t tell him,” Sara’s voice sounded so lost and fragile, it broke Catherine’s heart.

“ Would you like me to?” she asked softly, raking a hand through Sara’s hair, brushing it off her face.

Sara’s eyes closed, she was so tired. Nodding her head sadly, she stood shakily to her feet “Do you think you can call Nicky? I really need to see him.”

“ Of course I can. You really care about him don’t you?” Catherine asked, standing beside her, placing a comforting arm around her shoulder.

“ Yeah,” Sara smiled “ he’s my best friend. I don’t know if I could have done this without him.”

“ Listen I’m sorry I made you think I hated you,” Catherine told her “ I didn’t mean to make you feel that way, it just takes me time you know?”

“ Yeah I know,” Sara nodded sadly “ I’m sorry I said it.”

“ We’re friends Sara,” she smiled “ you can tell me anything in confidence, you know that don’t you?”

“ I do now,” she smiled tiredly.

Catherine maneuvered them towards the door, “ Are you ready?” At Sara’s slow nod, she clicked the lock for them to step outside. As they exited the room, a very worried Warrick and Grissom were waiting outside to greet them.

“ Sara?” Griss came closer, reaching out to pull her into his arms “ I am so sorry, will you ever forgive me?”

She stood in his embrace, hands hanging limply at her sides. She felt him pull her closer, his lips in her hair. Slowly, her arms moved up his sides to hold him, returning his warm embrace, silent tears soaking his shirt. He pulled her tighter as she cried, burying his face into her shoulder, hiding his own cascading tears. They would get through this.

Catherine watched the scene before her with a strange mixture of emotions. It seemed so sad that these two souls had wasted a lifetime apart when they should have clearly been together. She only hoped Grissom could help heal the wounds in Sara’s heart, and give her the courage to love and be loved.

Moving away from them, she pulled out her cell phone. Noticing her silent retreat, Warrick came to stand beside her “ Is she ok?” he asked, his voice worried.

“ I don’t know Warrick,” she sighed sadly “ she’s been through so much already, I don’t know how she managed to cope through the years.” He nodded slowly, his arm coming to snake around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. He glanced down at her phone “ If you’re calling Nick, I’ve already called him, I’m gonna head out and pick him up in a few minutes.”

Catherine looked up into his face, a smile tugging at her lips “ How did you know?”

“ Just look at her,” he said softly “ he’d want to be here with her.”

“ Yeah,” she sighed “ Sara’s gonna need him when I tell Griss what I have to tell him.”

“ What?” his head snapped down “what you gotta tell him?”

A heavy sigh escaped her lips and she felt his other arm reach around her body, she squeezed his arm on hers “ Let’s just say it’s not over, she’s going to need all of us to get through this Warrick. I’m not sure if she told Nicky the whole story, but I know it’ll break Griss’s heart.”

It took a few seconds for her words to digest when he realized what she was trying to tell him “ Oh god,” he said closing his eyes “ please tell me she wasn’t,” he stopped to look down at her tearful face “ Catherine?”

“ I wish I could tell you it wasn’t true,” she whispered, tears gathering in her eyes “ but that bastard put her through something that no woman should ever have to go through.” She moved a hand up to her eyes, brushing the beginning of a tear away “ Get Nick here Warrick,” she told him “ she needs him.”

Nodding, Warrick took one last look at his two friends still entwined in a powerful embrace, then leaned down to kiss her head before turning to walk away from her.

Catherine watched him leave, her heart feeling the heavy burden of pain for Sara. Sighing heavily she slowly moved towards them, breaking them from their embrace.

“ We should take this somewhere private Griss, like your office,” she told him quietly “ Sara should get some rest.”

Grissom nodded, reluctant to break contact with her body. Leaning down again, he buried his face into her hair, placing tiny butterfly kisses over her head. “ Sara,” he mumbled softly into her hair “ honey we should go.”

He felt her start to slowly disentangle her arms from around his waist to slowly pull away. She looked up to him, loving eyes scanning his face “Ok,” she said softly.

Grissom felt his breath catch in his throat. Her beautiful eyes were so trusting. He trailed his hand down the side of her face, feeling the softness under his fingers; he’d missed this, touching her, being close to her. Without thinking, his head bent down to place a soft chaste kiss on her lips.

As she watched them, Catherine felt a tear trickle down the side of her face. She couldn’t remember a time when she had seen Griss so gentle, but the nagging urgency to whisk them away from the prying eyes became her main objective.

“ Griss,” she pleaded, “ we really have to go.”

He nodded silently, pulling one of his arms from around Sara’s body, to keep one firmly around her shoulders. “ Sara?” he asked softly.

“ I’m so tired,” she told him quietly, her voice heavy with exhaustion. Her body felt like huge lumps of lead, and when she tried to move one of her legs, she felt her body start to crumble.

Grissom was there in a heartbeat, lifting her effortlessly into his arms as she passed out into his shoulder.

Catherine felt her emotions rising again. Sara looked so fragile, a far cry from the strong woman she always projected, and she just prayed that they could help her put the demons to rest.

Silently, she walked beside Grissom and the now sleeping Sara towards the sanctuary of his office, sending warning glares to anyone who dared to make a comment.

Ten minutes after he’d left, Warrick pulled up outside Sara’s apartment. Catherine’s words ate away at his insides. How could any man do something so degrading to a woman? He would never be able to figure out why people turned to violence.

Stepping out of the car, he hadn’t taken a few steps when Nick was there, bag in hand and ready. “ What took you so long?” he asked breathlessly “ I should be there.”

“ Hey calm down, she’s with Catherine and Griss, they won’t let anything happen to her,” he opened the passenger door for Nick to climb in, his stomach rolling with nausea, he wasn’t sure how much Nick knew about Sara’s past, they were pretty close. As he climbed into the drivers seat, he noticed Nick’s jaw clenching. “We’ll be there soon Nick.”

“ How is she man?” Nick asked worriedly “ is she ok?”

“ I’ve never,” Warrick stopped, drew in a breath, then turned to the man beside him “Let’s just get you there ok. She needs you..” Nick nodded his head, his eyes staring out of the window as they sped away, both desperate to get to their friend.

Back in his office, Grissom had laid Sara down on two chairs pulled together, draping his jacket across her shoulders, keeping her in a warm cocoon. His eyes crept over her face watching her as she slept. She looked so fragile laying there, the paleness of her face standing out against the darkness of the room. He wanted to kill the man who had put her through so much pain, a man he had once called friend. Closing his eyes against the anger rising in his body, he knew he had to push it to one side for now, she needed him to be strong, to be there for her. Opening his eyes, he found her again, the love he felt for her bursting into his chest. Impulsively he reached out a hand, to gently smooth the hair from her face. It still amazed him how soft her skin felt beneath his fingers. He had missed her, being so close to her that he could drown in her presence.

She breathed in a deep breath then turned onto her side, catching his hand in her sleep to tuck it beneath her chin. He gasped as her hand clasped his. She ignited him, her mere touch sending soaring fire through his body. He found himself gazing down at her. Realizing in that one single moment just how strong his feelings were for this remarkable woman. Her pain became his pain, and he felt it right through to his soul. The moment she had entered his life all those years ago she had enchanted him, holding him captive, binding him to her in a way he never thought possible, and no matter how many times he had tried to deny her hold on his heart, he couldn’t keep up the pretense any longer. He needed her like he needed his next breath, and that feeling shook him.

Leaning over her, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, then sat back to watch her sleep, keeping his hand entwined in hers.

Outside the office, Catherine found herself mesmerized by the intensity of the scene before her. They had all witnessed the special bond that Grissom and Sara seemed to share from the very beginning, but never had she seen such a beautiful intimate moment. She smiled as she saw the longing gaze that had settled over Grissom’s face, and realized he had the look of a man in love. Maybe things would be ok after all, she mused silently. Moving away from the window, she decided to grab a cup of coffee before Warrick arrived with Nick. Let Griss have this blissful moment, she decided, after all, later he would have to know the truth and she knew it would break his heart.

Catherine sat down in the break room with a deep sigh. Taking a sip of her coffee, her mind returned to the emotional scene between her and Sara earlier, feeling the protective bond she now felt with her friend return.

She only hoped she could tell Grissom the awful truth without breaking down herself. She felt Sara’s pain, raw inside her heart, dreading the time for truth. She was afraid of Grissom’s reaction, afraid of her own escalating emotions, but most of all she was afraid for Sara. She knew in her heart that Griss with all his best intentions would want closure for the woman he loved, he would go into protective overdrive, and she was afraid that Sara wouldn’t be able to relive the terrible events all over again, hell, she was a mess now just with memories. Her whole body started to shake as she thought of what a court case would do to Sara.

Warrick brought her out of her thoughts. “ Hey,” he smiled sadly.

“ Hey yourself,” she sighed, replacing the cup onto the table. He saw her turmoil right away, it haunted her eyes.

“ What’s wrong?” he asked as he came to sit beside her, his hand reaching out to link with hers. Opening her mouth to answer, she was interrupted by a very irate, out of breath Nick “ Where is she?”

“ Sit down Nicky,” she smiled sadly “She’s asleep right now, Griss is with her.”

Nicks eyes left hers to the outside of the glass, his eyes strangely bright with unshed tears “ What happened?” his voice caught in his throat, coughing to hide his emotions.

“ It happened by an accident,” she told him softly “ none of us knew until she ran away.” Feeling a tear escape to roll slowly down her face, she looked up into Nicks sad eyes “ I’m so sorry Nicky, she asked me to turn it off, but I heard you two talking about me, and I had to listen.”

“ Why?” he demanded angrily “ it’s bad enough some stranger listening in on us, but you? I thought you were my friend.”

“ I am your friend,” Catherine told him firmly, silent tears starting to roll down her cheeks, one after the other.

 “ Hey man,” Warrick’s voice broke “ We all love Sara, turning on each other isn’t the way to do this.”

“ I’m sorry,” he gasped, his eyes searching from Catherine to Warrick, the distress plain to see on their faces “ I just want to see her, make sure she’s ok. It’s not your fault that some nut decides to listen in on two people that he had no right to.” Moving over to his fririds, he eased himself down on the other side of Catherine, holding on to her other hand.

“ God Nick,” she sniffed back against the sob in her throat “ how did she cope all those years? How did we not know?”

“ She tried to tell us,” Warrick said softly, making Catherine and Nick turn their heads to look at him.

“ We all saw how rape cases affected her, we should have known something was wrong when she came apart right in front of our eyes, but she’s so strong….”

“ No she isn’t,” Nick spoke; his voice cracked with emotion “ she was totally broken that first night she told me, so unlike the Sara we know. God,” he gasped, closing his eyes against the dampness in them “ I held her all night when she told me. I’ve never seen her like that before, she just cried and cried. I didn’t know what to do to help her.”

“ You helped her more than you know Nicky,” Catherine told him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze “ she confided in you something terrible, she took the first step with you, that’s helping a lot.”

“ I just wish,” his voice cracked into a sob, as he brought a hand up to cover his face, trying to hide the tears dripping from his chin..

“ Oh honey,” Catherine disentangled her hand from Warricks, to turn in her seat to hold him, her own body shaking with her cascading emotions.

Warrick always considered himself to be the strong type, not letting his emotions get the better of him, but now, even he had a hard time keeping the wetness from his eyes. He sat quietly, not saying anything, not knowing what to say. So, he reached out a hand to Catherine’s back, in his own way reassuring her he was hurting too.

Back in Grissom’s office, Sara started to stir in her sleep. Griss found his eyes searching every part of her face, loving every line, every tiny freckle. His mind wandered back to their first meeting, and how she had taken his breath away. The first time she had smiled at him, he knew he was totally lost.

She was a wonderful burst of energy; making his senses come alive with a mere touch. Before he knew what was happening, she had managed to slip through the defensive walls that he’d erected around his heart, breathing life into his body. He remembered how he would count the minutes until he could see her again, feeling lost until she was there to find him and light up his heart. He remembered the day he broke her heart by telling her he was leaving. She had been so strong at first, pretending she was happy for him, pretending that she would be ok without him. But as the days wore on, she became more and more upset, holding onto him for a little longer than she had before. His heart had been hurting too, there she was, the most wonderful, beautiful and remarkable woman he had ever met in his life, and he left her. If he had been honest with himself back then, he would have admitted she had gotten too close to him, and he was as scared as hell.

The door to his office creaked open slightly, Catherine’s head creeping around the door. “ How is she?” she whispered.

His eyes never left Sara’s sleeping face, “ she’s restless.”

“ Nicky’s here,” she told him softly “ he wants to see her.”

“ She’s sleeping right now,” he answered quickly “ he can see her later.”

Opening the door to fully step inside, she came over to him, her eyes moving to her sleeping friend before crouching down so she could see his face “ Please Gil, he needs to be with her as much as you do.”

“ I don’t want to leave her,” he sighed heavily, “ she’s been through so much already.”

“ Nicky will be here, he’ll stay with her until you come back. Please Gil I have something I need to talk to you about.” Catherine moved a hand to his shoulder, rubbing it gently.

“ Can’t it wait?” he asked incredulously, turning his head to look at her. It wasn’t until he saw the sadness in her eyes that he knew something was wrong.

“ Sara wanted me to talk to you, she didn’t feel strong enough to tell you herself,” her eyes were pleading “ Gil please, I promised her I would do this, don’t make me break that promise.”

His eyes left her face to watch over Sara again, a doomful feeling lying in the pit of his stomach. Silently, he nodded.

“ Thank you,” she told him standing to her feet “ I’ll call Nick, then we’ll go somewhere to talk ok?”

She watched him for a long moment dread spreading through her heart. He hadn’t answered her, his eyes still gazing down at the sleeping woman.

Nodding slowly, she retreated back to the break room for Nick.

Grissom had heard her, he didn’t want to leave Sara, not for even the briefest of moments, but he had an awful feeling that whatever Catherine had to tell him was bad, and if Sara had asked her to speak to him…

His thoughts were scattered as Nick came slowly into the room, moving closer to Sara. “ Hey Griss,” he spoke softly “ how is she?”

Grissom looked up at the younger man, mixed feelings of gratefulness and jealousy shining from his eyes. He knew how much Sara and Nick cared for each other, and he had to be thankful to Nick for helping Sara through the worst nightmares. He just couldn’t seem to shake off the anger that it was Nick she had turned to and not him, but he had to push it aside for Sara’s sake.

“ She’s not good,” he told him quietly.

“ Catherine’s waiting for you outside,” Nick told him quietly “ I’ll stay here with her.” He had already crouched down beside her sleeping form to run a hand along her leg gently.

Griss watched him with a new awareness. He saw for himself how gentle and caring Nick was towards her, how he spoke in soft loving tones at her sleeping face. She would be in good hands, he decided, as he slowly withdrew his hand from hers making her stir slightly. Standing, he smiled down into her face, she was so beautiful even in sleep, he thought. Leaning down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead, he moved away slightly for Nick to sit in his seat.

“ If she wakes up..”

“ I’ll call you,” Nick nodded, his eyes on Sara. Griss moved towards the door, taking one last look back before opening the door.

Outside Catherine came to stand beside him as he watched Nick and Sara through the window. Putting a hand on his shoulder, she smiled “Come on Gil, lets go and grab some coffee, she’ll be fine with Nick.”

He nodded wordlessly as she turned him away from the window, not sure if he was ready to hear what he thought she was going to tell him. He was afraid, and that scared him. Gil Grissom didn’t scare easily.

Grissom sat wordlessly in the small diner, staring into his coffee cup, absentmindedly watching the swirls of steam that rose into his face. Closing his eyes tiredly, he waited for Catherine to speak, afraid that she would confirm his worst fears.

Catherine watched him silently. He was pale, and so quiet. Compared to the Gil Grissom she knew, this man was a mere shell. Her heart pounded in her chest, making it hard for her to concentrate on the speech she had rehearsed in her head a thousand times over. She found her eyes moving up to his face, wanting to ease the pain he was feeling, but knowing she would only cause him more. Reaching out across the table she took his hand.

“ Gil,” she started quietly, looking down into their clasped hands “ I need to tell you something.”

She heard him exhale, letting out the breath he had been holding. His hand tightened on hers as he opened his eyes to look at her.

“ Sara..” she started, then found her voice cracking, the raw emotions making it hard for her to speak. She took a deep breath and tried again “ Sara, wanted me to tell you something.”

“ He hurt her didn’t he?” he said suddenly. Catherine’s head snapped up to meet his face, feeling her eyes begin to fill with emotion.

“ Yes,” she whispered, her eyes never leaving his. She saw him gulp a shuddering breath as he waited for her to continue.

“ There’s no easy way to say this,” she found her eyes dropping from his, back to their hands “ she,” Catherine stopped again trying to scrape up the courage to continue.

“ He raped her,” Grissom spoke in a detached voice, sounding devoid of all emotion “ didn’t he?”

“ Oh god,” she gasped, a sob escaping from her throat as tears started to cascade down her face “ I’m so sorry Gil.”

“ I will kill him,” he seethed, his voice scaring her. He snatched his hand from beneath hers and stood up abruptly “ I will find that bastard and I will kill him.”

“ Gil, no you’re not thinking straight,” she was on her feet beside him in seconds, trying to find some of the Gil she knew “ Sara needs you to be strong for her.”

He pulled his arm from hers angrily, to turn away and walk towards the door. For a second she watched him stunned, until she came to her senses to run after him.

“ GIL,” she yelled behind him, racing to his side as he strode angrily back towards the labs. “ Talk to me,” she pleaded.

“ Go away Catherine,” he told her, anger rising in his voice.

“ NO,” she yelled, yanking on his arm to bring him to a halt “ You are not going to do this to her. She needs you.”

“ I can not stand back and do nothing,” he was so angry, all he could think of was killing the man who had hurt Sara, making him pay with his life, “ I want justice.”

“ And what about Sara?” she choked angrily “ are you going to leave her again? Leave her to face this mess while you’re out there getting even?” When he didn’t answer her, anger flared in her heart “WELL ARE YOU?” In an instant her words seemed to impact into his heart, melting the anger away, turning it into the deep sorrow he had tried to keep at bay for hours.

“ Oh god Catherine,” he gasped in a quiet voice, “ how could he?” One tear followed another, followed by more, as he crumbled, falling forward for her to catch him in her arms.

“ I don’t know Gil,” she said through tears, holding him as he broke his heart “ all I know is that she needs you right now, and when she’s ready we will help her put him away.”

She held him, his body shaking against her in complete and utter sorrow. Bringing her own soaring emotions under control, she pulled him to her tightly “ It’s ok,” she soothed “ it’s ok.”

Nicky sat quietly watching Sara as she started to stir. He wanted to protect her, to stop the nightmares from returning, anything to change her back into the Sara they all knew and loved.

He felt her hand tighten on his as she slowly opened her eyes “ Griss,” she whispered softly.

“ No Sar it’s me,” he smiled, bringing her hand up to his lips “ how’re you feeling?”

Pulling herself to sit up, the jacket on her shoulders fell onto the chair. She found herself looking down at it, the scent of Grissom still lingering on her body. She looked at him “ I should be asking you that.”

“ I’m ok,” he told her, not meeting her eyes.

“ Nick,” she asked worriedly “ Does he know?”

“ Catherine’s taken him to get coffee,” he reached out to brush the hair from her eyes “ she was going to tell him.”

“ Oh,” she looked down, feeling the hopelessness blind her once again as she thought of Grissom’s face. She wasn’t sure if she could handle his rejection a second time.

“ Sar, he loves you,” he told her softly, placing a finger under her chin to lift her face “, we all love you.”

“ I lied to him Nick,” she told him in a quiet voice “ what if he never forgives me?”

“ Honey, it wasn’t your fault,” he told her, as he moved into the seat beside her, picking up the jacket to place it on the back of her chair. He slowly pulled her into his arms, placing her into his protective embrace. She wound her arms around him, seeking his warmth. Slowly, she laid down again, her head in his lap, keeping her eyes fixed on the door, waiting.. Nick watched with her, one hand coming up to comb through her hair, the other resting on her hip.

“ What if he hates me?” she asked nervously.

“ He won’t.”

“ But what if he does? What will I do Nick?”

His answer died on his lips as the door slowly opened to reveal a very solemn looking Gil Grissom.

For a long moment, Sara didn’t move. Her body tensed worriedly, as she tried to bury herself further into Nicks lap, trying to make herself invisible. As Grissom came further into the room, Nick’s hand stilled in her hair and she felt him moving her to sit up while he got to his feet.

Her eyes darted from Grissom to Nick, before reaching out to grab firmly onto Nicks hand. He looked down at her, seeing the tears starting to gather in her eyes. She was afraid, and it shone clearly in her eyes.

“ Honey it’s ok,” he told her quietly, giving her hand a gentle squeeze “ I’ll be outside, and I promise I’ll be in here in a second if you need me.” When she looked over to Grissom again, he felt her slowly begin to loosen her grip on his hand.

“ Ok,” she said quietly before pulling away from him completely.

Her eyes watched him as he walked towards the door, only breaking away as he closed the door behind him.

Grissom stood still in the same spot for what seemed like an eternity. The silence deafening . Sara watched him, a tear escaping to roll down her face as she felt the words bubbling on her tongue.

“ I’m sorry,” she told him as one tear followed another “ if..” she stopped to rethink her words before continuing “ do you hate me?”

She heard him gasp, his eyes darting to her defeated body, but the words wouldn’t come. She kept her eyes diverted, looking anywhere but his face, she couldn’t bare to see the rejection in his eyes. His silence only fuelled her fears, allowing tumbling words to continue.

“ I guess I don’t blame you,” she said sadly as her voice started to crack “ I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve anyone.”

“ Sara,” he said at last, finding his voice. The emotions riding on every word “ Oh Sara.” As he spoke he slowly took a step closer to her.

“ He told me he would hurt you,” she cried, her eyes now finding her hands “ he said he would ruin your career, bring you down and you’d never work again.” Finding a tiny piece of courage inside her, she found her eyes meeting his “ I couldn’t let him do that to you.” Her eyes dropped away from his face back into her hands “ So I went back home and never told anyone what happened. I couldn’t let him hurt you,” she had begun to rock back and forth, tears dripping off her chin.

Her words hit him like a ten-ton truck, leaving him reeling from shock. She had tried to protect him, even after she had gone through this terrible ordeal; she had protected him, his career. He found himself shaking, as he came towards her to slowly kneel down in front of her.

 “I could never in a thousand years ever hate you Sara,” he told her through tears. Reaching forward, he took her hands in his, clasping their fingers to entwine them together “ you deserve so much love,” he told her, as tears fell from his face onto their joined hands.

 She shook her head, sobbing as she spoke “ No, I’m no good. I can’t..” Her voice was lost in a sob as he pulled her forward into his arms, bringing her onto his lap.

“ I love you,” he sobbed into her hair, rocking her back and forth “ I will never stop.”

She turned in his arms, sobbing uncontrollably into his chest, as he held her tighter. He closed his eyes against the wave of tears that seemed to hit his body, making him tremble with grief.

“ Don’t leave me,” she begged into his chest, pulling her to him desperately as wave after wave of tears left her tired body.

“ Never,” he said fiercely into her hair “ never again.”

Outside, Nicky turned away, sad relief washing over him.. He would do anything to protect her, even if it meant standing up to Grissom if he ever hurt her. It was clear from what he’d just witnessed that they needed each other, both needing to heal. For the first time in a very long time, he allowed himself to smile.

“ Hey Nick,” Greg came up to him with a file in his hand “ What’s gong on? Everyone’s acting real weird.”

Steering him from Grissom’s office, Nick pushed Greg forcefully along the corridor into the break room where Warrick and Catherine were sat on the small couch.

Greg looked over at Catherine, a smile creeping over his face. She was leaned against Warrick, his arm around her shoulders, and they looked very cozy.

“ Hey when did this happen?” he grinned.

“ Shut up Greg,” Nick snapped.

“ What? I only asked..”

“Well don’t ok,” Warrick told him angrily.

“ What’s going on?” Greg’s eyes darted from one to the other “ it’s Sara isn’t it?” When neither of them answered, he started shaking his head “ it is. What’s wrong, is she ok?”

“ She’s,” Nick started, trying to think of what to say, but luckily Grissom saved him by stepping into the doorway.

“ How’s Sara?” Nick asked quickly, ignoring an open mouthed Greg at his side.

“ I’m going to take her home.” He told them, his eyes resting on Catherine “ you think you can handle things here tonight?”

She sat up quickly, Warricks arm falling from her shoulders “ Yes we’ll be fine, just take care of her.”

“ I’ll go see her before you leave,” Nick told him, pushing past him in the doorway.

Grissom just nodded, his eyes giving away the signs of his still raw emotions. Bringing his hand up to his face, he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

“ Hey you ok?” Catherine asked softly, standing up to reach out and touch his arm. Greg feeling slightly out of place began to move out of the room “ I’ve got work, I’ll just go.”

“ Greg,” Grissom called him, stopping him from going any further “ Not a word of this to anyone, you hear me?”

“ Yeah, not a word, I know,” he nodded.

“ I mean it Greg,” he told him, his eyes sending a warning “ if I find out you have spoken of this to anyone I will find you.”

“ My lips are sealed, not a word,” he nodded, as he turned on his heel and quickly left.

Catherine’s eyes scanned Grissoms face “ How are you doing Gil?” she asked him, giving his arm a squeeze.

 His eyes met hers briefly, drawing in a deep shuddering breath “ Ask me again tomorrow ok?”

“ Ok,” she nodded, as she drew him into a warm hug.

They were brought apart by Warricks swift movement to the door “Sara,” he gasped. She smiled at him weakly, her face more pale than usual. “Hi Warrick,” she mumbled into his chest as he held her in a bear hug.

“ Damn girl,” he whispered rocking her back and forth “ you had us all worried.”

Her arms wound around him, pulling him tighter before moving away to look up into his face “ I’m sorry.”

“ Hey,” he smiled, cupping her face in his hands “ that’s what friends are meant to do for each other. Don’t you ever be sorry you hear me?”

Sara found herself nodding, tears once again pooling in her eyes. “Ok.”

Grissom came to her side, and she felt his warmth radiating into her body. Smiling up at him, she reached out to hold onto his hand, seeing love emitting from his eyes.

“ You get some rest ok?” Catherine smiled, moving towards her. Sara’s eyes broke away from the man she loved, into the warm eyes of her friend. Opening her arms, she fell into Catherine’s embrace, feeling the warm relief wash over her. “Thank you,” she whispered into Catherine’s shoulder.

“ Hey anytime,” she smiled, moving away to release her “ you need anything, you call me ok?”

“ I will,” Sara nodded, before looking over to Nick.. Wordlessly, he opened his arms to her, and she walked to him, burying herself in his embrace, tucking her head under his chin. He held her tightly to his body, placing kisses in her hair before releasing her to lean down and kiss her forehead “ You get some rest you hear me?”

“ Yes dad,” she smiled, the first real smile for a long time.

He found himself chuckling, pulling her to him again for one more hug “ I love you squirt,” he smiled. Moving backwards, she smiled up into his eyes “ Love you too.”

Leaving his arms, she moved closer to Grissom, who held out his jacket to wrap around her shoulders “ You ready to go?”

She nodded, her eyes gazing into his. Wordlessly, he turned her to hold one arm protectively around her shoulders, as they walked down the corridor towards the exit and home.

Grissom slowly opened her apartment door and gently pushed her inside. She had been so quiet in the car; her eyes closed most of the time.

“ Can I get you anything?” he asked her as he sat her on the couch. Her head slowly rose so he could see her eyes, gasping at the intensity behind them “ Sara?”

She dropped her gaze, pulling his jacket tighter around her shoulders, breathing in the scent of him from the soft material.

“ Griss?” she asked softly, not looking at him.

He found himself holding his breath for a long moment before moving towards her, to stop by her feet “Yes?”

Her eyes lifted to his face again, seeing the fear inside them. She knew he was afraid for her, afraid that she was going to lose control of the already fragile balance on her life. Part of her wanted to reach out and hold him to her forever, but another part, the more dominant part, wanted to question his actions, push him away for fear of being hurt again.

“ Why do you love me?” she asked quietly, her eyes watching him silently for any sign of rejection.

He came closer to sit down beside her, his eyes meeting hers. “ I have always loved you.”

“ I don’t know why you do,” she said sadly looking down at her body still encased in his jacket “ I’m not even pretty.”

“ God Sara,” he gasped again, moving a hand to cup her cheek, turning her to face him “ You are beautiful, and not just on the outside either.”

She started to shake her head, her eyes closing, until he shook her gently, making her open her eyes again.

“ I love you,” he told her firmly “ I fell in love with you a long time ago, you were everything to me. You still are everything to me.”

He watched her face change, as tears started to gather in her eyes. She gazed at him with sadness, her eyes wide with worry   “ Even now? After what I did?”

“ You did not do anything Sara,” he told her firmly, trying to keep a firm check on his emotions, he couldn’t break down again, not while she needed him to be strong “ he took something from you that wasn’t his to take, he betrayed my trust in him to keep you safe, and I will never for as long as I live forgive him for that.” He watched as a tear escaped to roll down her face to drop off the end of her chin. He moved his thumb over her cheek, brushing the moisture away with ease.

“ I tried to protect you,” she said again, more tears following the tracks of the first “ he told me if I ever told you he would make sure everyone knew about us. I couldn’t let him do that to you Griss, I still loved you even after you left me, I just couldn’t.”

Grissom found his eyes fill with tears again, and as much as he battled to stop them they came anyway, dropping onto his cheeks to roll down his face “ You should have told me,” he sniffed “ I would have killed him for hurting you. I’d have come to get you, anything to keep you safe.”

She shook her head; her body shaking as tear after tear fell from her eyes. Falling forward she fell into his body, his arms encasing her in his warmth, holding her to him as they both released the pain in their hearts. He pulled her tighter to him, moving the jacket from her body so he could feel her skin under his hands, trying to get closer to her, needing to heal her with his touch.

“ I’m sorry,” she sobbed into him “ I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid.”

“ It doesn’t matter anymore,” he moved his head to tuck hers under his chin, tears falling onto her hair dampening the silky strands “ we’ll get through this together,” he whispered, holding her body until the shaking slowly died away.

Sometime later, Griss woke to the sun filtering through the blinds casting rays of light onto the floor. Shifting slightly, he moved his head to look down at Sara’s sleeping face. She looked so peaceful; all the pain seemed to have eased away, leaving only the streaks on her face the only visible sign of her heartache.

He loved this woman that much was apparent, but there was loving someone and them there was being in love with someone, and he was in love with her.

She moved in his arms, a sigh escaping her as she slowly opened her eyes. She was confused at first, wondering why she was on her couch, that was until she looked up to see the smiling eyes of Grissom gazing down at her.

“ Morning,” he smiled, placing a kiss on her head.

“ Is it morning already?” she sighed, replacing her head on his chest again “ I don’t want to move just now.”

“ Well then don’t,” he smiled, moving a hand to brush his fingers through her hair.

“ I’m sorry I cried all over you again,” she whispered “ you must be sick of me by now.”

“ Hey,” he scolded softly, moving to kiss her head again “ I could never get sick of you, so stop talking like that, ok?”

Closing her eyes against his chest, she nodded slowly, knowing she would have to tell him everything eventually.

“ I’m sorry,” she said again, her voice muffled into his shirt “ he told me you hated me.”

Grissom felt his chest tighten at her words, feeling anger rise inside him, burning with the fierce desire to main the man who had done this to her “ I would never hate you, and he knew that, never, you hear me?”

“ I know Griss,” she said sadly “ but he said some things to me that made me doubt everything, I was so scared.”

“ Honey, I’m here,” he whispered, tightening his hold on her body “ you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“ I need to,” she breathed into his chest “ promise me you won’t let me go?”

“ I’ll never let you go,” he told her, his lips finding her hair again as he waited for her to speak.

“ Remember when we said goodbye?” she started “ I was crying so much as you left, and I can remember thinking I was never going to see you again.”

He closed his eyes against her words, the night he left her behind coming back to haunt his thoughts, dreading her next words.

“ I was so mad at you,” she closed her eyes as a tear soaked into his shirt “ I started walking after you left to try and clear my head, I didn’t know where I was going, I didn’t care.” She moved a hand from his chest briefly to wipe her face, then replaced it back on his chest. “ I came back I don’t know, around 11.30. I must have looked a mess because people kept staring at me, but I just kept on going until I got to your office.”

She felt Grissom’s sharp intake of breath as his arms instinctively pulled her tighter. “ I sat in your chair for hours,” she said softly, as more tears started to pool in her eyes “ I couldn’t seem to accept that you were gone, it was like the other times I’d wait for you there. I expected you to open your door any second and be happy to see me like you always did. So when your door opened that night, I thought it was you, until..” her voice trailed off as she tried to control her breathing, the memories of that night returning in one foul swoop, making her heart beat with fearful memories.

“ It’s ok,” he told her softly, trying to hide his emotions by whispering into her hair “ I’m here.”

“ He locked the door,” she shuddered “ he told me I was just a stupid little girl who needed a lesson in growing up and he was going to give it to me.” Her body started shaking violently against him, her head burying itself further into his chest, averting her face from the world outside his embrace. “ I tried to fight him,” she sobbed “ he was too heavy and I couldn’t get away.”

“ It’s ok, it’s ok,” he soothed her shaking body, his body seething with angry tears. Now more than ever he wanted to kill the man with his bare hands, to squeeze the life out of his body.

“ He did it on your desk,” she sobbed “ he took control of my life in the one place I felt safe and he killed it, he killed me.”

She couldn’t take much more of this, her body was so tired, so fragile, but strangely, released from it’s burden at finally telling him the truth, and he was still here, he hadn’t run away like her attacker told her he would.

“ Promise me you’ll never leave me,” she whispered through tears, as she moved her head to look up at his face. Feeling her movement, he inclined his head to see her eyes, tearful and sad, but oh so beautiful.

Leaning down, he kissed her softly on her lips, sealing the promise of his presence forever.

An hour later, Grissom’s cell phone began to ring, demanding his attention. His eyes darted to Sara, her eyes closed as she rested her head on his chest.

The insistent ringing had failed to awaken her, so he tried to reach inside his jacket, which was draped over the end of the couch. She stirred slightly, opening her eyes slowly to gaze up at him, sleepy longing in her eyes. He smiled, his eyes meeting hers “ I’m sorry I woke you.”

“ S’ok,” she mumbled, moving off him just enough for him to retrieve his phone. As he sat back against the couch, she waited for him to speak before lying back down onto his chest and snaking her arms tightly around his waist.

“ Yeah,” he spoke into the phone, one hand moving to her back tracing lazy circles around her shoulders.

“ Hey Griss,” Nicky spoke “ is Sara awake?”

“ Yes she’s here, you want to speak to her?” hearing the affirmative reply, he smiled down at her, and passed her the phone.

Sara didn’t want to move from his chest, his warmth heating her body, healing all the hurt places inside her battered heart. Keeping her head laid on his chest she put the phone to her ear “ Hey sweetie,” she smiled sleepily.

“ Hey,” his voice softened “ how are you doing honey?”

“ Better,” she smiled into the phone “ what’s up? You sound tired.”

“ I am, that’s’ what I was calling for. I’m gonna crash on Warricks couch today. It’ll give you and Griss time to talk and stuff, I didn’t want you to start your mother hen routine.” He started laughing as he pictured her indignant face in his mind.

“ Well excuse me,” she giggled sleepily “ I do not mother you, when have you ever seen me motherly towards you sonny?”

She heard him let out a huge laugh at the other end of the phone “ sweetie I said you could stay here, you don’t have to go to Warricks, all your things are here.”

“ I know, but you and Griss need some time.”

“ Nicky, I want you here, this is your home too, well for at least a week anyway,” she smiled “ besides if I want to be alone with Griss we can just go to his place.” She felt Grissom’s hand slow to a stop on her back, his body started to tremble slightly. Leaning her head into him, she placed a small kiss on his chest and hugged him a little tighter, reassuring him that he was her world.

“ Ok,” he chuckled softly “ I’ll see you soon. Pass me back to Griss ok?”

“ Ok,” she smiled.

“ Hey love you,” he told her before she handed the phone back. She just smiled “ You too sweetie.” She inclined her head up on Grissom’s chest to look at his face “ He wants to talk to you.”

Smiling, he leaned down and placed a delicate kiss on her nose before taking the phone from her hand. He felt her settle back against him again, her body soaking up his heat greedily.

“ Hey Nick.” He listened and just started to nod and agree with whatever Nicky was saying, then pressed the phone off.

Sara’s eyes lifted to his face questioningly “ What was all that about?”

“ What?” he smiled, as he leaned back and closed his eyes, his arms encircling her again, pulling her closer to him.

“ All that nodding and mumbling?” she smiled into his chest, loving the feel of his protective arms around her body. She closed her eyes again; she loved this feeling of total contentment. It had been so long since she had felt this safe and slept without a nightmare

“ Oh, the guys want to know if you’re up for a meal out on Sunday night, somewhere nice. You know they’re all worried about you.”

“ Oh,” she said quietly, her eyes snapping open.

“ What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly, opening his eyes to look down at her. The contented feeling of only a few seconds ago had all but disappeared from her heart to be replaced by tight anxiety.

“ I,” she tried to pull out of his arms, her stomach rolling in waves of nausea “ I can’t.”

“ Hey it’s ok if you don’t want to,” he released her from his embrace, still keeping her close enough to touch her.

“ No it’s not that,” she sat up slowly to look down into her hands. Grissom was beside her in a heartbeat, his arm tracing reassuring patterns on her arm “ You can tell me honey, you can tell me anything.”

 “I don’t want to wear a dress,” she bit her bottom lip worriedly “ I don’t want people to see me, and I’ll have to dress up to go for a meal, I don’t think..”

“ Hey it was only a thought,” he soothed “ we don’t have to go.” He pulled her back into his arms again, resting them back against the couch tucking her head beneath his chin.

“ I’m sorry,” she said quietly “ you must think I’m some kind of freak.”

“ Honey no one thinks that, especially me,” he leaned his head down to kiss her head.

“ I don’t wear dresses,” she told him, her voice sounding detached “ not since that night.”

He closed his eyes, pulling her closer to him. She was like a roller coaster, up one minute and down the next, but he loved her, and he would be there for her every step of the way.

“ It’s ok,” he soothed.

“ What’s wrong with me Griss?” she asked sadly “ why can’t I get past this?”

“ Honey it’s just going to take time that’s all,” his hand began rubbing over her back, trying to sooth her pain away “ and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, you are perfect. It’s him that should be suffering for his actions, not you, you hear me?”

She nodded against him, feeling the familiar wetness in her eyes “ He took everything away from me,” her voice was so quiet he had to strain to hear her “ I got home after he..” she stopped, took a breath “ I scrubbed my skin till it bled, I just wanted to get his smell off me. He made me feel so disgusting, I hated myself, I wanted to die.”

“Sara,” he breathed, “ you are beautiful. I love you, Nicky loves you, and if I had known what he’d done I’d have done everything in my power to put him behind bars for hurting you.”

She closed her eyes tightly against his chest, his words giving her the courage to say what she had to tell him “ Will you help me hurt him Griss?”

At first he thought he hadn’t heard her right, was she asking him for help? Looking down into her face he saw her eyes closed, a single tear making a wet track down her cheek “ Honey I would do anything to help you, but you know as well as I do that without evidence we don’t have a case. He would deny everything.”

Without a word, she sat up, disentangling his arms from around her body. Standing up she moved slowly to a draw in her hi-fi cabinet and took out a large brown envelope. She eyed it carefully, swallowing hard against the nausea rising in her throat.

Grissom stood up warily, walking to her side. She handled the bag in a way she would handle garbage. Her eyes slowly met his, as the tears began to well in her eyes “ You will need your gloves,” she told him quietly handing him the bag.

He took it from her, the knowing dread spreading in his stomach.

“ It’s all there,” she told him, her hand coming to her mouth as she darted from the room, reaching the bathroom just in time to throw up the contents of her stomach.

Grissom stared at the bag in his hand, unable to move. She had kept the evidence of her horror all this time, and no one had ever known.. This one tattered item he held in his hand could be the key to helping her put her demons to rest, and although he should be elated that she’d preserved what he needed to help her bury this man, he was afraid, afraid of losing his faltering self control.

He looked up as she came back into the room, her eyes showing signs of obvious distress. Coming back towards the couch she sat down tiredly.

“ Sara?” he asked, placing the bag on her table to go and sit beside her. She was shaking, her eyes staring off into space, trying to escape her nightmare.

“ I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she whispered as she closed her eyes “ My parents sent it a few months ago with some of my other stuff from home. I was doing ok till then.”

Reaching out a hand, he touched her shoulder gently “ I will be with you every step of the way,” he told her firmly “ I will help you put Andrew Chase behind bars where he belongs. I promise you Sara.”

 At hearing her attackers name, her eyes grew wide with untold fear, making everything seem so real and not like some awful dream.“ I’m scared,” she said in a small voice, as she moved closer to him, crawling into his arms.

“ I know,” he told her softly, placing tiny kisses in her hair “ I won’t let him hurt you ever again ok? I promise.”

She nodded against him, her eyes glazing over with tears “ Then it’ll all be over won’t it?” she asked through tears as they made their way down her face “ I want it to be over.”

“ Yes it will,” he pulled her closer, holding her tightly to his chest so she could feel his heart beating against hers “ we will all help you, Sara, you have so many people who love you, do you know that?”

She nodded against him, crying harder in his arms “ Make it go away Griss,” she sobbed, his chest muffling her cries. He pulled her tighter, clamping his arms around her shaking body, letting his own tears mingle in her hair. “I promise.” He told her fiercely, making a silent vow to whoever was listening that he would help her.

 He held her till her shaking began to subside and her breathing became deeper. She was asleep again, clinging to his body and he knew there was nowhere else he would ever want to be. Slowly, he made himself more comfortable to accommodate her body and closed his eyes.

The key in the lock of her door broke him out of his thoughts. Opening his eyes, he saw Nick and Warrick come through the door.

Right away Nick’s eyes went to the sleeping woman in his arms, the tears still wet on her face “ Griss?” he asked worriedly.

Grissom gazed down at Sara for a long moment, before moving her gently to lay her down on the couch. His hand lingered over her hair for a brief moment before turning to his two friends.

“ Sara has given us what we need,” he said softly, moving away from the couch to pick up the bag Sara had given him. He held it up, disgust in his eyes “ She preserved the evidence of her attack, it’s all in here.”

“ What? How?” Nick’s eyes darted back towards Sara’s sleeping face, then back to Grissom. He suddenly started to feel sick. He knew what was going to be in that bag, and that it would lead to Sara’s attacker, but he couldn’t process that kind of evidence knowing it was hers. How could he? He loved her, and to think that someone had touched her. He shook himself mentally.

“ I know Nick,” Grissom nodded as he saw the mixed emotions crossing over Nick’s face “ I feel the same way. This is Sara, not some stranger, but she needs us to do this.”

Warrick nodded, “ How did she manage to keep it all this time? I mean it’s not something you’d want hanging around.”

“ She told me it was in with some things her parents sent her from home, I think that’s when this all started again, drudging up old memories.”

“ Oh god,” Nick gasped suddenly, fighting the urge to keep his stomach from rolling “ she came to my apartment in the pouring rain one night three months ago.” His eyes once again found her face, remembering the horror on her face as she threw her arms around him, begging him to let her stay. He found himself moving over to the couch where she was sleeping, and crouched down beside her “ she told me her folks had sent her something that she wished they hadn’t.”

“ Well however she came by this,” Warrick spoke up “ we have got to get this processed. We’ve got to help her.”

“Yes we do,” Grissom nodded “ I need to get to the lab, Nick stay with her ok?” he asked, knowing full well that the younger man would never leave her side. Turning to Warrick he held up the bag “ I need to go.”

“ I’m coming with you,” he told him hurriedly, moving towards the door and opening it before Grissom could even grab his jacket.

He gazed down at Sara, drinking in the sight of her. The love he felt for her was beyond any words he could ever describe, he didn’t want to leave her, but he knew he had to.

“ She’ll be fine with me,” Nick told him, seeing his hesitation.

“ I know, but if she needs me you call me ok? I’ll be back here as soon as I can.”

“ Griss you know I will,” Nick nodded, his eyes never leaving Sara’s face “ get that bastard Griss. Get him and put him away.”

Taking one last look at Sara, Grissom backed away from her slowly, his heart yelling at him to stay with her. He knew what he had to do, and he had promised her.

Turning, he moved towards the door, and closed it behind him, leaving Sara in Nicks care.

Greg was just about to leave for home when he saw Warrick and Grissom charging towards him with determination in their eyes.

“ Hey guys, what you doing here? Thought you’d all gone home.”

Grissom reached out a hand to his shoulder and leaned close to his ear “ We need your help Greg.”

“ Well you know, I am going home,” he replied jokingly “ I do have a life outside of the lab.”

“ It’s about Sara,” Warrick told him, knowing that Greg had a crush on her and would drop everything to help.

“ What can I do?” he asked quickly, unzipping his jacket and removing it from his shoulders.

“ Good man Greg,” Grissom smiled patting his back proudly. Holding up the bag he eyed it cautiously “ What we have to tell you is not to leave this room is that clear?”

“ Of course,” Greg nodded, his eyes fixed on the bag Griss was holding “tell me what I can do?”

“ In this bag could be the evidence we need to put someone away for a very long time,” Grissom told him.

“ And this is about Sara?”

“ Yeah Greg,” Warrick told him sadly “ there will probably be semen stains on the clothing, Sara’s clothing.”

 Grissom watched as Greg’s face started to pale “ You mean? Oh god, no, not Sara?”

Grissom nodded, trying to keep the anger from his eyes “ Yes, that’s’ why we need you.”

“ Tell me what you need,” Greg told him firmly “ I’ll do anything.”

“ I know you will,” Griss nodded, motioning him to follow them to his lab “ we need to get this guy, and put him away, for Sara.”

Warrick slapped Greg’s arm as they followed Grissom in silence, both fighting the emotional revenge they both sought for a woman they all loved.

It was a while later when Greg rushed into Grissom’s lab “ Hey Griss, I’ve got it.”

“ You have a match?” Grissom stood up and followed Greg back to his lab. As he entered he saw Warrick already waiting impatiently, arms folded.

“ Well, what did you get?” Griss asked quickly, coming to stand behind Greg’s chair.

“ Well I ran the prints on Sara’s,” he stopped, drew a breath “ the prints matched one Andrew Chase, formerly of San Francisco.”

“Formerly?” Warrick asked, moving closer to the screen.

“ Yeah, it seems he was convicted in 1998 for the rape of one of his students, he was given 10 years, without parole, but,” he turned to Grissom “ You’re not gonna like this.”

“ What?” he asked angrily “ Greg, WHAT?”

Turning towards him, Greg took a deep breath and started to explain.

Warrick’s eyes watched intently as Greg started to squirm under Grissom’s stare. He held up the paper in his hand, which was shaking with nervous tension.

“ Spit it out Greg,” Grissom demanded angrily. He was starting to lose patience; all he wanted to do was get back to Sara. Without her presence he felt lost, his body craved her warmth, her closeness, her love.

“ He killed himself,” he told him quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth.

 Warrick unfolded his arms “ You mean after all he put Sara through, he killed himself?” Seething angrily, he stomped out of the lab, slamming his fist against the wall as he went.

Greg’s eyes turned back to Grissom who had paled slightly, trying to comprehend what he had just heard “ How?”

“ Apparently he hung himself in his cell, but there were no witnesses.” Swallowing hard he turned his eyes to another paper on his desk “ Um I found something else.”

Griss found his eyes wandering back to the paper in Greg’s hands, his heart aching and at the same time wishing this would be over, for Sara, for him. “ What did you find?” he asked, his voice tired and deflated.

“ I found a second set of DNA,” Greg’s eyes met his, fear hiding behind them

“ Oh god,” Griss groaned into his hands, how could this be? Could this nightmare get any worse? He was broken out of his heartbreak by Greg, his voice almost whispering.

“ Is there something you want to tell me?”

“ Excuse me?” Griss was confused, what the hell was going on?

“ I found your DNA Griss,” he told him quietly “ The semen on..” he stopped, took a breath “ one of the samples belonged to you. I mean Griss do you need me to spell it out for you?”

Grissom drew in a breath, his mind reeling with this new information. He remembered the night he left; she had taken him to the airport in her car. He closed his eyes against the powerful memory hitting his senses, of him and Sara, so desperate to be together if only for the briefest of times. They had never got as far as making love, he always found an excuse to dampen her passion, knowing that if he crossed that line with her he could never let her go. But he had crossed that line. One passionate encounter of desperation, in her car. Oh god, he left her that night, that one night of pure heaven. He left her with his love and that monster turned in into pure hell, not just for her but for him too.

“ I have to get back to Sara,” he stood shakily, his mind reeling with guilt, knowing that she was still carrying the essence of his love that night when she was raped. Andrew Chase erased their love in one violent action, taking away their tender caresses forever.

 “ Griss what do you want me to do with this?” Greg asked, pointing to the scattered evidence, his eyes oddly bright with emotion.

“ Bag it Greg, I can’t think about this right now ok. Sara needs to know it’s over, he’s gone and he’ll never be back.”

“ Do me a favour,” Greg told him, his voice quiet.

Griss turned to look back at him, nodding his head. He waited for Greg to find the words that he wanted to say, knowing that Sara was important to him too.

“ Give her my love and you have my word, this will die with me ok?” He turned away from Griss back to his desk, not wanting the older man to see the turmoil in his eyes.

“ I’ll tell her Greg,” he nodded quietly “ and thank you.”

Sara slowly opened her eyes, she felt like she had been hit with a truck. Everything hurt, her head, her eyes, hell her heart felt like it had take a battering.

She felt someone move beside her, knowing instantly it was Nick by his presence. Her legs were on his lap with his hand resting on her calf. He had the TV on with the volume turned down “ Hey Nick,” she smiled sleepily.

“ Hey baby,” he grinned, moving a hand over to her arm, helping her to sit up.

“ Where’s Griss?” she asked, her heart jolting with disappointment at his absence.

“ He’s gone to the lab with Warrick, he’ll be back soon. I can call him if you want.” His eyes swept over her tired face, she was so pale.

“ It’s ok,” she yawned, moving over to him and curling into him to lay her head in his lap “ I wish I didn’t feel so tired.”

“ You’ve been through a lot Sara,” he soothed, his hand instantly coming to her hair, combing his hands through the strands, soothing her back into slumber.

“ Aren’t you tired?” she asked sleepily, as she took his other hand on her shoulder to clasp it with hers, cushioning it beneath her chin.

“ I’ll sleep when you sleep,” he smiled, squeezing her hand gently in his and smiled “ so if you stop yacking for two minutes we can both sleep.”

Through her tiredness, she couldn’t help the soft smile that spread across her face, as she tapped his knee playfully “ Well you’re the one who keeps talking.”

“ Hey Sidle,” he grinned, leaning over her body to kiss her head “ shut up.”

“K” she mumbled, her eyes closing on their own.

Nick found himself watching her. The darkness under her eyes seemed to stand out against the paleness of her face. He knew it would take time, and he would help her, just how she had been helping him all these months to bury a bad memory he would sooner forget. She had been his strength when he thought he couldn’t go on anymore, and he vowed to her now, his eyes filling with the ever-present liquid emotion, that he would be there for her as long as she needed him. Together, he and Griss would bury her nightmares, to replace them with their love for her. Two separate kinds of love for one perfect woman.

As he watched her sleep, his eyes began to close and he gave into the tiredness he felt.

Grissom stopped outside Sara’s door. His heart ached. Part of him knew she would be relieved that she could move on from this and the other part of him knew she would be angry. She needed closure from this horrible ordeal and she would never have the satisfaction of seeing her attacker brought to justice. Although it brought some comfort that he had been punished for one of his crimes, there was still that knowledge that he had raped someone else, putting them through the unimaginable horror that she had suffered.

He knew Sara, he knew she would be wracked with guilt over someone else’s suffering, thinking in some way she could have prevented it.. She would blame herself for something that she couldn’t have possibly prevented.

Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the key she had given him. He looked at it thoughtfully in his hands before he placed it into the lock. Taking a deep breath, he turned the key and opened the door.

Sara’s eyes snapped open the second he entered, watching him with fearful uncertainty. There was something in his eyes that filled her with alarm he looked tired and broken. Carefully she disentangled herself from Nick’s arms, easing herself from his embrace. He mumbled something in his sleep, his hands unconsciously searching for her. Smiling softly she leant over to him again to run a hand over his hair, whispering soft words to ease his restlessness. Grissom watched in awe at her gentleness. A pang of jealousy soared through his heart as he saw her reach out to guide Nick so he was laying on the couch, instead of the upright position he was in. He seemed to calm with her presence, his muttering ceasing. Reaching out to the back of the couch, she pulled down the crochet blanket that rested there, placing it over him, making him settle into it’s warmth. She watched him as he sank into a deeper sleep, her eyes watching for any signs of distress. It was only when she saw his face relax in slumber that she left his side to make her way over to Grissom. She saw him watching Nicky, something unreadable in his eyes. She smiled her best smile for him, reassuring him that her heart was his “ He has nightmares,” she explained softly “ We both have things that haunt us. I hope you understand.”

“ He helped you when you needed him,” he told her his voice soft “ I understand Sara, I really do, it’s just..” His voice trailed away sadly, not knowing what he was going to say.

“ What the matter?” she asked him worriedly as the emotion formed in her eyes. Needing his touch she brought a hand up to lay on his chest, at once feeling his beating heart beneath her fingers. Lifting her eyes to his, she saw his concern in their depths, along with the ever-present love that shone behind them for her.

“ I have something to tell you Sara,” he told her softly, his eyes darting to Nick’s sleeping form on the couch. He wanted to be alone with her to tell her what he now knew, and in that one brief moment he resented the fact that Nick was there, even in sleep. Sara’s eyes followed his and smiled warmly at the other man in her life “ He’ll be asleep for hours, he could sleep through an earthquake believe me.” She turned her eyes back to his, capturing his heart as well as his soul with her gaze.

Griss watched her carefully; his heart pouring with love that flowed into his body, warming him like sunshine. “ You wasn’t the only one Sara,” he told her carefully, watching her eyes for any sign of fear. Taking hold of her hand, he steadied her, as her legs seemed to buckle beneath her. He caught her with ease, pulling her to his body in a fierce embrace, soothing the shakes away with his touch.

“ Oh god,” she gulped back the tears forming in her eyes “ this is my fault I should have said something, I should have..Oh Griss I’m so sorry.”

“ No Sara,” he soothed into her hair “ it wasn’t your fault, believe me honey it truly wasn’t.” Moving forward, he picked her up in his arms, holding her shaking body to his as he carried her to her bedroom and sat down with her on the bed. She wound her arms around his neck seeking the comfort he offered her, pulling him closer, trying to burrow herself into his body.

“ It’s over now Sara,” he whispered “ he can’t hurt you anymore.” He started to rock her, his body taking on a rhythm all of it’s own as he found himself holding her tighter, trying to heal her with his touch.

“ What if he does?” she sobbed, “ I don’t know if I can do this Griss, I know I have to make him pay for what he did, but I don’t know if I am strong enough..I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“ Honey please don’t cry,” he whispered, his own ragged emotions finding their way into his heart as he spoke “ he’s dead Sara, he’s gone, he can’t hurt you again. I promise you honey, he’s gone.”

“ Oh god,” she choked out a sob, clinging to him as if her life depended on his contact “oh god,” she started to wail, her battered soul crying out in torment begging for release from this nightmare. Grissom didn’t know how to help her come to terms with this new turn of events, so he did what he thought she needed the most, he held her until the sobs started to subside and her body went limp in his. He sat with her in his arms until his back began to ache with the awkwardness of the position he was in. Reluctantly, he moved her so she was laying on her bed, her hand still entwined in his. He found himself bending over her to place a tiny kiss on her head, as the emotions in his heart began to rise with alarming power. He found he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her face, he could watch her forever to willingly drown in her beauty. His eyes lingered over her soft features, gazing with pride at her courageous beauty in trying to deal with this on her own. As he watched her sleep, the lines in her forehead started to smooth out, as her body relaxed, at last released from it’s torrid burden, letting her finally start to heal.

Reaching down, he pulled the comforter over her body, tucking her into a cocoon of warmth, then sat down on the edge of the bed to watch her sleep, at last releasing his tears to roll freely down his face. This was love, he realized then, real love, and he had found it with her.

EPILOGUE

Two months later, Sara’s life had seemed to change into something resembling normality. The whole team were closer than they had ever been before, united by the one single nightmare that had affected them all so deeply.

Even Nicky was better; his nightmares seemed to die away as soon as she had started to heal. Both of them drawing strength from the other in their bid for release.

Catherine had been her tower of strength, taking her out for things like shopping and lunches, giving her the boost of confidence she needed to venture out into the world again. She felt better than she had in a very long time and was now at the point in her life where she needed to move forward, with Grissom and her life.

“ Are you ready honey?” Grissom’s voice called from outside her bedroom door.

Her eyes turned back to the mirror, giving herself a mental shake at her stupidity. It was only a dress, she told herself, that’s all, and if she wanted to move on she had to get over this fear. She heard the handle turn as the door opened to reveal the man she loved as he slowly entered into the room.

“Sara,” he gasped, his eyes lingering over the long black dress that fell to her ankles, and exposed a wide expanse of her shoulders “ You look breathtaking, absolutely beautiful.”

She pushed the fear inside her to the back of her mind as she closed her eyes, trying to be strong. Turning to him she smiled, trying to hide the fear lingering in her eyes. She knew the instant her eyes met his; he would see her uncertainty hiding behind her depths. He knew her too well.

“ I will be with you the whole time,” he told her, stepping closer to place his hands on her shoulders, rubbing his thumbs over her smooth skin “ I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise you Sara. I love you so much.”

Her eyes closed at the sensations he was evoking in her body, his touch igniting her like fire coursing through her veins.

He felt the slight tremble that shook her body. He felt it too, every time they touched, but he would wait for her forever if need be, until she was ready to take their relationship to a higher lever.

Her eyes opened slowly to meet his again, seeing the fire burning behind his blue depths. She loved this man with every ounce of her being, wanting to give him the part of her that she had denied him for so long.

Moving forward, she pressed her lips to his, kissing him tenderly as she left a promise of her love forever. His eyes closed as she deepened their kiss, his heart pumping wildly in his chest. He longed to touch her, but feared his movements would scare her away, and that terrified the life out of him, so he let her take the lead, following willingly to whatever depths she wanted to take this.

Her arms wound around his neck, moving closer to his body urging him to hold her, which he did willingly. Breaking their kiss suddenly, she gazed up into his eyes, love and adoration shining into his, telling him in silent communication that she wasn’t afraid anymore.

“ I need you to show me how to love,” she whispered softly “ I don’t know what to do.”

“ Honey, you don’t have to do anything,” he smiled, kissing her on her nose tenderly “ you show me you love me every day just by being beside me.” He kissed her again on her lips soundly, then drew away to gaze lovingly into her eyes “ we’ll be together, I promise, we don’t have to do this if you’re not ready, it’s ok, I’ll wait for as long as you need.”

His words filled her eyes with tears as she reached up to trace a finger over his lips “ I’m ready now Griss, I don’t want us to be apart any more.” Drawing away, she held onto his hand “ Show me how to love you Griss.”

His eyes watched her intently, how could he deny her when he wanted so much to show her what making love really meant when you shared it with the one person you loved with your life.

“ Are you sure?” he asked her softly, his body already telling him he needed her. He watched the fear leave her eyes as she nodded, stopping his heart with such a simple action. They still had an hour before they had to meet the others at the restaurant, and how could he deny her this?

Taking her hand, he led her to her bed, kissing her gently as they sank down into mattress, his gentle touches soothing her fears away. She followed him willingly, letting him take her to places she had never been before, and as she cried out his name in her release, she knew that she would be with him forever, he was her heart and her soul.

“ I love you,” she whispered up into his face, smoothing away the beads of sweat on his forehead.

His heart exploded in his chest as he leaned down to capture her lips with his again. She had made him a whole person, teaching him how real love was meant to feel. Lying down beside her, he pulled her into his arms, kissing her head feeling more relaxed and happy than he had ever been.~/p>

“ I love you Sara,” he whispered against her ear “ forever.”

As they laid there in the afterglow of their love, Sara at last allowed him to heal her completely, feeling more at peace than she had ever been. The nightmare she had suffered for the last few years had been chased away, replaced by his love for her. At last, together they had found their piece of heaven; their life was now beginning………