Letting go
By Amanda Hawthorn
RATING: PG-13 (sexual contents)
PAIRING: Grissom/Sara
CATEGORY: Angst/eventual romance
ARCHIVE: Sara and Grissom
FEEDBACK: Love it, but no flames please I’m fragile!!
SUMMARY: Sara can’t take anymore and takes drastic actions. ( There is a mention of Griss having someone in his life, but very tiny mentions)
DISCLAIMER: CSI belongs to CBS and Alliance-Atlantis
Productions. No
infringement intended.
AUTHORS’ NOTES: This is my first attempt at g/s fic. Hope you like it.
***
Sara Sidle stared out of the break room window feeling emptiness engulf her heart. Things seemed so helpless now, so pointless.
The man she loved, her boss and friend Gil Grissom had all but ignored her for weeks. He seemed distant and uncaring towards her now, ever since he’d found out about her relationship with another man, Hank.
Relationship, she thought bitterly, there is no relationship, and we go to movies, why can’t he just believe me on this?
Feeling the tears pooling behind her eyes, she hurriedly wiped them away. It wouldn’t be good for any of the others to see her like this, to see how vulnerable she was.
She could feel the depression eating away at her heart as she tried to figure out what she should do. Leave? Could she actually do that? Could she bare the thought of never seeing him again?
She knew if she didn’t get away soon, everything she loved would slowly be destroyed, and she couldn’t let that happen.
Sighing heavily, she made her way to Grissom’s office, not quite sure of what she was going to say to him.
He was talking on the phone when she arrived. Talking in quiet hushed tones and he was smiling as he spoke.
Tears once again laid unshed behind her eyes, her fears that he had already moved away from her started to become a reality, and that’s when she felt her heart break.
Grissom looked up and glimpsed Sara at the door, the anguish in her eyes shining clearly. Saying a quiet goodbye into the phone, he waved her in.
Sara felt as if her legs were going to give way as she came in slowly and closed the door behind her. She kept her back turned away from him while she screwed up her courage. Slowly turning around to face him, she wrapped her arms around her waist as if to protect herself.
“Sara,” he began.
“No,” she breathed looking up into his face “please, I need to talk to you and you have to let me finish ok?”
“Ok,” he agreed worriedly.
“ I can’t do this anymore Griss,” her voice was quiet and he had to strain to hear her. “ I don’t know what you want from me, I’m so scared I’m going to lose who I am and I can’t go on like this.”
Grissom stood slowly and walked towards her “Sara?”
“No,” she said then as she looked into his eyes, the tears pooling there finally breaking free to roll down her face “ I thought you knew me Griss, I thought you cared about me, but like everything else about you lately, I got it all wrong.”
“ I do care about you,” he told her softly.
“No,” she told him through tears “you don’t. If you did you wouldn’t think I lied to you, you wouldn’t believe what everyone else tells you about me”.
Grissom stepped closer, he couldn’t bear to see her in such pain, and he did care about her, a lot, a whole lot.
“Then why do you keep pushing me away?” her eyes found his again.
“ Sara, you have someone in your life now, and so do I,” he told her quietly.
The final crack in her heart gave way, to completely break it in two “ I don’t have anyone,” she sobbed quietly “there hasn’t been anyone since I met you.”
“But Hank?” His voice was rough with emotion “you have Hank now.”
“Hank?” she laughed bitterly “ he was a friend, we used to movies together, so we didn’t have to go alone.”
“Oh,” he said sadly, feeling guilty.
“ I need to get away from here Griss, I can’t stay anymore.”
“What?”
“ If you don’t let me go I’ll resign, I just can’t be here anymore, this, you, are killing me,” she unwrapped her arms from around her waist and moved towards the door “ be happy,” she told him before she left.
It took him a few minutes for the information to sink in before he went to look for her. He found her in the break room pulling on her coat, tears rolling down her face unchecked.
Behind Grissom Nick and Warrick came into view. Nick gasped at the sight of his friend “God Sar what’s wrong?” Pushing passed Grissom to wrap his arms around her.
“ I’m leaving Nick,” she pulled him to her fiercely, and then moved away to look up at him. Placing the palm of her hand on his face she smiled through tears “You promise me you’ll take care of yourself ok?”
“ You can’t go,” he protested.
“Promise me,” she told him firmly.
“I promise you,” he told her, pulling her to him again.
Warrick came further into the room “Where will you go?”
Pulling away from Nick, she turned to him; sniffing back more tears “ I don’t know yet, back to Frisco maybe.”
“ Damn girl, come here,” he groaned as he pulled her to him, holding her close “ You stay in touch you hear, I don’t care where you are, you let us know ok?”
Pulling back from him, she wiped the tears away. Leaning up to kiss his cheek she felt the fresh onslaught of tears “ I promise.”
Turning to Nick she did the same. He held onto her for a little longer than before.
When she pulled away from him she wiped her eyes with the palms of her hands “ I really love you guys, you know that don’t you?” Seeing their sad nods, she turned towards her boss.
“Goodbye Griss,” she told him sadly before turning to walk away from them for the last time.
He watched her walk away from him, desperately trying to find something to say. He saw her in the distance, hugging Catherine goodbye, then she was gone.
“ Jeeze man,” Warrick turned on him “what the hell did you do?”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you know she would do anything for you, why the hell didn’t you try to stop her?” Nick started pacing.
Catherine came into the break room breathless “ What the hells going on?”
“ Sara has gone,” Grissom told her emotionlessly, although his heart was pounding in his chest.
“I got that but why?” she asked confused.
“Oh god,” Nick looked at him, anger in his eyes “it’s you isn’t it? I swear if you’ve hurt her I’ll..”
“ Look it was her decision to leave, now we have work to do.” Turning his back on his team he walked back into his office and closed the door.
Sara came into her apartment slowly closing the door behind her, she sadly scanned the darkness of the room.
Well, it had been easier to tell him she was leaving than she thought it would be, just one more piece of proof that he didn’t love her, one more painful crack in her heart.
Reaching out to click on the light, she threw her keys onto the table. Everything was such a mess, her life, and her sanity. Gil Grissom had come into her life and stolen her heart away from her right before her eyes, and now it was too late to get it back. Moving over to her bookshelves, she picked up the one photo frame that stood on it. Tracing her fingers over the mans face, her eyes once again started their tidal wave of sorrow. The one photo she had of him in the days when they first met, one photo of them both looking so happy.
“ What the hell are you doing Sidle,” she cursed “ the man doesn’t love you, so stop the damn crying.” Anger took the place of sorrow as she swiped the tears away.
Looking down once more at the photo in her hands sadly she made a tough decision, it was time to let go.
Grabbing one of the boxes, she threw the photo into it, and then went to one of the draws in her bedside cabinet. Reaching in she pulled out a small cardboard box that was fraying at the edges. She regarded it for a long moment before carefully lifting off the lid.
At least a dozen letters sat neatly in the box, a treasured possession that she needed to rid herself of if she was going to go on without him. Taking the top one, she opened one of the letters, tears stinging her eyes as she read the loving words in Grissoms own unique handwriting.
Dearest Sara,
I miss you. I never thought starting a new job would be so difficult.
I thought I would settle once I got to Vegas, but I can’t, there’s
Something missing in my life. It’s you, Sara, I miss you so much.
I’ll call you over the weekend ok, I need to hear your voice.
I love you
The tears once again began to fall as she remembered all the times they had enjoyed being together. All the times he had told her he loved her. Sadly folding the letter back up, she placed it in the box and returned the lid. Time to forget and move on, she thought to herself.
Sighing heavily, she walked back out into the living room and placed the letters inside the box with the photo.
Some time later a persistent knocking on her door awaked her. Opening her door, she saw Catherine stood there with coffee in her hands.
“Thought you could do with some company,” she smiled.
Sara opened the door wider for her to enter, trying to put on her best smile. Catherine came in and sat herself down on the couch, watching her intently.
“ Are you ok Sara?” she asked.
Feeling her eyes start to pool with tears she quickly nodded “ I will be I think.”
Catherine patted the seat next to her “ Might help to talk about it.”
“ Nothing to talk about really,” Sara said sadly, moving over to sit beside her “ I just need some time away that’s all.”
“ You know I’ve known Gil a long time, and he’s hurting Sara,” Catherine watched her face intently.
“ Yeah well so am I,” Sara snapped jumping to her feet “ I have this ache inside that just won’t go away,” she looked up at the ceiling, the tears slowly rolling down the side of her face “ I can’t live like this anymore, I need to let go and move on.”
“ Sara you have people here who love you, don’t forget us in your bid to leave all this behind,” Catherine stood to gently touch her shoulder “ You know I didn’t really like you too much when you first arrived.”
“Yeah,” Sara laughed sadly “ I wasn’t that fond of you either.”
“ Yeah we did get off to a bad start didn’t we?” she smiled “, but you know what? After just a few weeks of knowing you I came to respect you and even like you.”
“ Same here,” Sara smiled looking at her.
“ You know Greg is heartbroken,” she smiled “ and poor Nick, he just doesn’t know what to do.”
“ I told Nick I’d keep in touch, I love him, he knows that.”
“ I know you do,” she smiled “ he doesn’t want to lose you, none of us do.”
Sara sank to the couch, tears rolling down her face as she sobbed quietly. Catherine came beside her, putting a comforting arm around her “ It’ll be ok hon,” she whispered “ just remember we’re here for you.”
Gil Grissom stared intently at his tarantula, deep in thought. What had happened to him and Sara? How had their relationship changed so quickly to where it was now? Thinking back to earlier when she had cried openly in front of him, he couldn’t help the sinking feeling deep inside him. The thought of losing her scared him more than he ever thought possible.
He’d been so stupid. How could he have not seen the love she still carried for him in her eyes when everyone else could? How did he let things get into such a mess?
This relationship he had now, well if you could call it a relationship, didn’t compare an iota to the feelings he still carried for Sara. All those years ago when they first met, she had filled him with such wanton abandonment. The age difference hadn’t bothered them back then, but as time went on and he started to lose his hearing, he couldn’t knowingly hold her back when there could be someone out there younger and fitter to give her all the love she so deserved.
Sighing, he put the container holding his tarantula back in its resting place.
Thoughts of Sara clouded his mind. When had he started to fall in love with her all over again? Did he ever stop loving her, he wondered.
Just then his door opened. Looking up he saw a tearful Catherine in the doorway.
“ You got a minute?” she asked.
“Yeah, actually I have a few,” his eyes followed her as she came into the room.
Walking into his office, she put a box on his table, eyeing it silently before she spoke.
“ I’ve just come from Sara’s,” she looked into his face “ she’s a mess Gil. What did you do to her to make her want to run away from us? We’re the people who love her.”
“ I…” he stopped and took his glasses off to rub his eyes “I don’t know what happened Cath.”
“ All I know Gil is that she is so sad, there’s hardly any of the Sara we know and love left.”
Standing, she moved to the door. “You need to fix this Gil, whatever you have to do to make her stay, I suggest you do it. I don’t think you realize just how much Nick and Warrick love her.” When he didn’t answer her, quiet anger flared inside her “ Have you been out there?” She pointed through the glass window to the break room “ The guys are walking around like they just lost everything. They want answers, and they want their friend back,” opening the door, she stopped before stepping out “You’d better hurry Gil, she flies out to Frisco in two days.” Grissom watched her quietly, not knowing what to say to her, he knew he had to find some way of repairing the damage.
“ Um,” he spoke “ Catherine, you forgot your box.”
Turning to look back into his questioning eyes she smiled sadly “ It’s yours Gil, from Sara.” Then she was gone, closing the door behind her.
Grissom sat staring at the box in front of him, afraid to open it. He dreaded to think what she could have put in there. Reaching up finally with shaking hands he started to pull the tape off of the box.
From outside, Warrick was passing with Catherine “ What’s in the box?”
“Not sure,” she told him “ it’s some things Sara wanted him to have.”
“ This is all wrong,” he said miserably “ even a blind man can tell that those two are crazy about each other, I mean what the hells wrong with him?”
Reaching up to Warricks shoulder and giving it a squeeze she smiled sadly “ I don’t know. I just wish he would do something before she leaves.”
“ We’re going to see her off right?” he asked determinedly “ I mean we can’t let her go without saying goodbye.”
“ She doesn’t want us there War,” she sighed, pulling his arm to take him away from Grissoms window “ she wants to leave without the emotional ties, she’s scared if she sees us she’ll change her mind.”
“ Well then I’m going, you know her flight right?”
Looping her arm in his she beamed up a smile at him “ Oh yeah, I know the flight, the time and the gate number.”
Grissom felt his hands shaking as he lifted out a small tattered box which he placed it on his desk. Opening the small box carefully he saw lots of letters. Picking one out and opening it he recognized his own handwriting.
He smiled to himself as he read his own words, remembering the feelings behind them. She had completely blown him away with her personality and her beauty, breezing into his life finding a way to break down the defensive walls he’d erected around his heart over the years, and now he new she had never left. Turning the letter over in his hand, he gazed at it in wonder, he didn’t think she’d kept these; some were dated from over ten years ago. Something caught in his heart, as he thought of the pain on her lovely face as she was saying she needed to get away. Standing quickly to his feet, he reached out to grab his coat. Gathering the letters to replace them back into the box, something else caught his eye. Putting his hand into the box he pulled out a heavy photo frame with a yellow post it note attached to it. He stared at the writing that was distinctly hers, blinking a few times as tears started to gather in his eyes.
‘ These belong to you now.’
He peeled the note away from the glass of the frame to reveal a picture taken a few years ago of the two of them. They looked younger and so much in love. A tear splashed onto the glass of the frame as he sank back down into his chair.
Sara busied herself with packing her cloths into the large suitcase she intended taking with her. Stuffing the last of her sweaters into a small space and zipping up the case, she heaved it off the bed onto the floor.
Her cell phone beeped with a new message and she found herself hunting around her bag for the small object. Dragging it out of her bag she pressed the menu for her message. Smiling, she saw Nicks name on the screen.
‘I miss u so much already,’ his message said ‘are u sure u have to go?’
Hitting reply she keyed in a message of her own ‘ I miss u too, and yes I have to go. Will text u every day promise’ pressing the send button, she scrolled down to her saved messages. There were six messages saved, all from Grissom. Every message was nothing special, mostly work related, but she’s kept them anyway. Sometimes, when she felt the need for his presence she would go to her saved messages and just read them, knowing they came from him, that seemed to make her feel better, but not this time. Her finger hesitated over the delete button. Biting her bottom lip to stop more tears from falling she pressed down, deleting every message of his. There, he was gone now; every trace of him was gone. She’d finally done it, so why did she feel so miserable?
Inside his now darkened office, Grissom stared intently at the photo of him and Sara. Everything inside his heart yelled at him to go to her and make this right, but could he make her listen to what he had to say? Pulling out his cell phone, his finger hesitated over the speed dial for a few seconds before pressing in her number.
Placing the phone to his ear, his heart pounded so loudly he could hardly hear her quiet voice on the other end.
“ Sara,” he spoke softly “ please don’t hang up.”
She was quiet for a long moment before she answered “ What is it Griss?”
“ Look, Sara, I..” he stopped, not knowing how to say this “ I need to see you.”
“ No Griss,” she gasped, “ I can’t take anymore ok.”
“ Please, I need to see you, I have to explain..”
“ It’s ok Griss I know ok? I know you don’t have any feelings for me anymore and I will get over you eventually,” her voice caught in her throat “ I just have to be away from you to do that.”
“ I do,” he spoke quickly “ I do still have feelings, it’s just. Look I have to see you, and I’ll explain.” When she didn’t answer he tried again “ please Sara?”
He heard her voice wavering, an obvious sign of her cracking emotions “ Ok,” she said quietly.
Grissom let out the breath he was holding “ I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
Sara hung up the phone with a heavy sigh. What had she done? She had just spent the last few hours ridding herself of everything that reminded her of him and now? Why for once couldn’t she be strong enough to tell him no? Sinking further into the sofa, her hands came up to cover her face as she cried.
It took Grissom less time than he thought to make his way to her apartment building. His eyes wandered up to her window, seeing the slight glow of the lamp in the window. Reaching over to the passenger seat, he picked up the box she had sent to him and stepped out onto the road. His heart was racing wildly at the thought of what he was gong to say to her as he made his way into her building. He hoped what he had to say would change her mind about leaving.
Inside, Sara had her head laid against the arm of her couch, tears sliding silently down her face. The last few hours had been a living nightmare, one that she wished she could wake from.
When the small tap sounded on her door, she knew the time had come to face the truth.
“ It’s open,” she called softly from her couch, having neither the strength or the will to go to the door, he would have to see what he had done to her, she was through trying to be strong.
Hearing her voice, Grissom pushed open the door slowly. The apartment was in virtual darkness, the light from the hallway filtering into the room.
“ Sara?” he asked in a whisper.
“ I told you I’d listen Griss,” she told him tiredly “ I’m sorry if I’m not jumping with joy to see you.”
His eyes moved to her still form, drinking in the sight of her. She was laid on her couch, her hair spilling down the sides of her face.. Moving further into the apartment, then closed the door behind him. He reached for the light switch.
“ No,” she said quietly “ leave it off.”
He regarded her for a long moment before he came slowly over to sit beside her. For a long moment he just watched her, the light from the lamp luminating her beautiful face. He wanted to touch her, he wanted to comfort her, but his hands were shaking so much he couldn’t.
“ I brought back the letters,” he told her quietly placing the box on the table “ I gave them to you, they are yours.”
“ They were written a long time ago Griss when we were both different,” her voice was so quiet he had to strain to hear her “ well no, you’re different now.”
“ I…Sara,” his voice seemed to catch in his throat, the words he wanted to say tangling into silence. Closing his eyes he tried again “ I’m sorry for everything Sara.”
Turning her head away to the window, she tried to hide the tears creeping into her eyes once more “ I didn’t think this would be so hard,” her voice shook painfully as she spoke “ I tried to forget you.” Turning to face him squarely so he could see the tears coursing freely down her face, her voice trembled “ I really tried.”
Griss found his emotions running wild as he tried to control the lump building in his throat “ Sara.”
“ No,” she cried softly “ it doesn’t matter, I know now you don’t have those feeling for me any more, but you have to understand Griss, I can’t ever love anyone again, it’s too hard.”
“ Sara please listen to me,” he reached out to her “ I don’t want you to leave me. I never stopped loving you.”
As his hand made contact with her arm, she jumped away from him “ No don’t do this Griss,” her voice was trembling as she turned away from him “ it won’t work this time, I won’t listen to any more of your beautiful words to make me stay. I can’t go through this again. How can you claim to love me when you’re with someone else?”
Standing to walk behind her he reached to place a hand on her shoulder “ Sara please look at me.”
“ I can’t,” she sobbed quietly.
“ I thought you deserved better,” he told her, his voice trembling “ I thought you deserved someone younger.”
“ I don’t want anyone else. I want you dammit,” she sobbed painfully, her arms coming around her stomach protectively “ I LOVE YOU, when will you get that through your head?”
Her body shook violently, still turned away from him. Placing the other hand on her shoulder he turned her slowly around to face him. He gasped when he saw her face totally consumed with sorrow. Without hesitation he pulled her into his arms holding her so tightly, trying to absorb her sobs into his body “ Honey please don’t cry anymore,” he whispered into her hair “ I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She buried herself into his embrace, her body shaking with whacking great sobs. He held her tighter to him, his own eyes wet with sadness. Moving them backwards towards her couch, he maneuvered them down pulling her into his lap, cradling her body in his arms.
Some time later her sobs quietened to hiccups. She hadn’t moved from his arms, afraid to move incase he let her go again.
“ What are you thinking?” he asked quietly.
Moving one of her hands from his chest, she wiped her face of tears and sniffed back the onslaught of more. One question kept burning inside her head. One answer she needed to know “ Do you love her?”
Grissom moved his head down, trying to see her eyes “Who?”
Moving away from him slightly so she could see his face, she tried again “ You told me you had someone else in your life,” as she spoke a single tear slid down her face “ are you in love with her?”
Her question jolted his heart as he reached up to brush the tear away “ How can I be in love with her?” he asked softly “ when I’m still in love with you?”
As Sara heard his soft admission, a sob escaped her throat and the tears started again. He pulled her into his body again, kissing her hair “ Shh, it’s ok, I’ve been so stupid, I shouldn’t have tried to push you away.”
Shaking her head against his chest she sobbed quietly “ No it’s not that.”
“Then what is it?” He asked as he pressed soft kisses all over her hair.
Moving to sit up, she gazed into his eyes, silent tears sliding down her cheeks “ I erased your messages from me cell phone, I don’t have them anymore.”
“ Oh Sara,” he smiled, cupping her face in his hands. Placing a soft kiss on her lips, he pulled back to gaze into her eyes “ Then I’ll send you dozens more.”
Sara found herself being pulled upwards to straddle his thighs, all the time gazing into his intense blue eyes. Smiling, she placed a kiss on his head, before holding her forehead against his, both breathing unsteadily. Her hands slid around his shoulders, to meet at the back of his neck, as she met his eyes. Slowly they gravitated towards each other, their lips touching, once, twice, until they sank into each other. She opened her mouth to deepen the kiss, seeking entry into his, which he granted readily, his tongue dueling with hers in a passionate frenzy. His hands trailed up her body to tangle in her hair, pulling her head closer to his with a force so strong she thought she was going to ignite right there. Somehow one of her hands had found it’s way inside his shirt, moving over his chest leaving a trail of fire in it’s path.
Pulling her mouth away from his abruptly, her breath coming in ragged gasps. They gazed at each other; both shocked by the intenseness of the kiss. Dark desire shining so clearly from each other’s eyes. “ I want you,” she gasped as his lips found her neck. All thoughts flew in a thousand different directions as he began placing small nuzzling kisses over her soft flesh.
“ You have me,” his told her in between kisses. She gasped again at the sensations he was evoking in her body; it had been so long, raising her head to give him better access to her neck.
“ Will you stay?” she asked in a ragged breath, her body shaking.
“ Forever,” he spoke again, as he pulled her head down into a deep drugging kiss.
Moonlight streamed through the window, silhouetting the couple on the couch, their bodies tangled together. The moonlight highlighted their skin, still glowing from the hours of lovemaking.
Sara breathed in a deep contented breath as she slowly opened her eyes. Griss had his arm slung over her bare stomach, holding her firmly to him. She could feel his hair tickling the back of her neck and his breath warming her skin.
Smiling to herself, she couldn’t believe this night was happening, the man she had loved for an eternity was here, now, with her and everything was going to be all right now.
Reaching down a hand, she placed it lovingly over his, stroking his fingers gently with hers, rousing him from sleep. His fingers opened to take hers in his, threading them together as he placed tiny kisses over her bare shoulder.
“ You know,” she smiled as she brought their joined hands to her lips for a kiss “ I do have a bed.”
He shifted behind her so he was leaned up on one elbow over looking her body “ I know,” he smiled, leaning down to kiss her gently on the lips. Moving onto her back, so he was directly above her, she released his hand so she could pull his head down to hers more firmly, deepening the kiss and at the same time igniting passions for the fourth time that night.
Their lips slowly parted, only a mere breath apart. She found his eyes with her own, seeing the love she felt for him mirrored in his eyes.
“ I love you so much,” she whispered softly, pulling his mouth to hers again, swallowing the words of love from his lips. The sounds of gasps and sighs filled the room as they made love again.
Hours later they were awoken by the shrilling of a cell phone. Sara blinked the sunlight from her eyes a few times, turning to the man beside her “ Ignore it,” she whispered, capturing his lips with her own. He readily complied, kissing her back, but the damn phone wasn’t going to shut up.
Pulling his lips reluctantly from hers, he groaned, “ I swear I am going to kill whoever is on that phone.”
“ Poor baby,” she smiled up at him, distracting him with tiny kisses to his chin.
Smiling, he reached over her to his jacket on the floor fumbling blindly beside the couch. Climbing over her, he finally found his phone and sat on the edge of the seat in front of her legs while he put the phone to his ear “ Grissom,” he spoke.
“ Well it took you long enough,” Catherine grumbled.
“ Yeah, sorry I was busy,” looking down at Sara he mouthed ‘Catherine’ to her. He couldn’t help but be distracted by the beautiful woman lying naked on the couch beside him. His eyes skimmed over her body, drinking in every curve. Seeing his distraction Sara smiled wickedly and couldn’t help herself as she trailed a hand over his back making him shiver.
“ Gil are you ok?” Catherine asked worriedly.
“ Yeah, um, yeah, I,” he gulped when Sara moved to sit behind him and began placing suckling kisses over his earlobe and down his throat.
“ Gil?” Catherine asked again.
“ I’m fine,” he said on a gasp, moving his neck to give her better access “ I’ll see you later.” Hurriedly pressing the phone off he threw it on the floor and turned around swiftly, pushing Sara back down to the couch, kissing her with a passion as he devoured her body, savouring every inch of her skin with his mouth.
“ Griss,” she moaned pulling his head from her breast to her mouth, kissing him ferociously, passion once again erupting into blissful heaven.
Sometime later, Grissom opened his eyes sleepily. He thought he had heard something. Smiling down at Sara’s sleeping face, he leaned down to kiss her parted lips, rousing her from sleep. She returned the kiss without opening her eyes, looping her arms around his neck in a loose embrace.
“mmm,” she hummed, slowly opening her eyes “ I could get used to this.”
He smiled, running a hand down her body, then following the same path back up again, opening his hand wider causing her to shiver.
“ Griss,” she beamed a smile at him “ that’s six times already, sure I won’t kill you if we go again?”
“ We have to make up all the lost time,” he grinned, leaning down to graze her lips with his “ why did we ever stop doing this?”
“ Well this was one of the things we were always good at,” she smiled “ don’t know, temporary insanity maybe?”
“ Yes,” he said softly, his eyes searching hers “that must be it.”
Reaching up, Sara ran a hand through his hair, the other cupping his face above hers “ I missed you.”
“ I was always with you,” he smiled lovingly down at her, “ even though at times you thought I wasn’t.”
“ I’m sorry I lost control,” she whispered “ I thought I was loosing you forever and I didn’t know what to do.”
‘ Hey,” he told her softly, placing a finger to her lips “ it’s good you did, you gave me a much needed kick in the pants.”
“ I never want to lose you Griss,” she told him honestly “ yesterday all I wanted to do was run away and bury myself away so no one would be able to find me, but, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself it was what I had to do, it broke my heart to leave you.”
“ Sara,” he leaned down to kiss her head “ the thought of losing you terrifies me, and it’s not something I ever want to feel again. We’ll just both have to promise to never leave each other behind again.”
“ I promise,” she smiled.
“ So do I,” he told her as he caught her lips with his.
Later that day, Sara wandered around her kitchen adorned in Grissoms discarded shirt from the night before. A smile tugged at her lips as she felt the material against her skin. Her hair was still wet from the long shower she’d just taken with Grissom. Grinning to herself, she never though a shower could be so much fun. The poor man was exhausted, she mused happily, a satisfied grin on her face. Life was damn good right about now.
A loud knock sounded on her door bringing her out of her daydreams. Walking over to look through the spy hole she saw Catherine standing there. Looking behind her to the bathroom she was torn between opening the door and admitting everything or pretending she wasn’t home. Knowing that Catherine wasn’t going to give in that easily she opened the door. Catherine had a huge grin on her face “ Is Grissom here, I saw his car parked outside.”
Sara felt the blush start from her chest all the way to her face. Panic setting in, as she realized she was wearing Grissoms shirt. Opening the door wider to let her in, she knew there was no point in denying it.
“ Yes he is.”
“ Great so you guys talked?” Catherine beamed.
“ Um yeah,” she blushed again “you um could say that.”
Catherine looked around “ So where is he?” Sara felt herself going redder by the second, she was just about to think of a lame excuse when he emerged from the shower, wearing just his trousers “ Honey have you seen my..” he stopped dead in his tracks “ Catherine. What, um, what are you doing here?”
Catherine’s mouth hung open as she stared at the two of them, a slow knowing smile creeping up her face. “I actually came to check on Sara. After the strange phone call this morning I thought you were with someone..” something seemed to register in her brain as she spotted his phone in the middle of the floor. “Oh,” she grinned “ but seeing as you are doing such a good job yourself I’ll leave you guys to it.”
Backing over to the door she stopped and grinned back at them “ This is so great, I’m really happy for you. Sara this means you’re staying right?”
Sara looked over at the man she loved, an adoring smile on her lips “ Yes I’m staying.”
A strange noise came out of Catherine’s mouth as she beamed a huge smile “See you guys later.”
“ Uh Catherine,” Sara came to the door “ not a word to the guys ok? I want to tell them myself tonight.”
Reaching out to her friend, Catherine pulled her into a tight hug “ I won’t say a word. It’s so good to have you back.”
Moving away, Sara reached out to squeeze her friend’s hand “ It’s good to be back.”
“ See you later,” Catherine mouthed as Sara closed the door, grinning wildly. Once the door clicked closed she turned to look over at Grissom who seemed to be watching her with smoldering eyes.
“ Something you want Griss?” she smiled.
His eyes never left hers as he walked slowly towards her, his hands rising to the top button of the shirt “ I need this,” he whispered in her ear, knowing full well what his closeness was doing to her.
“ So?” she asked seductively, her arms moving up his bare chest to circle around his neck “ why don’t you take it?”
“ You know,” he leaned into her body and began to kiss his way up her throat “ I might just do that.”
Sara’s reply was lost on her lips as the shirt fell to the floor. Her last thought before he found her mouth with his was how the hell was she going to get through the shift?
That night, Sara closed her door behind her and turned to the man leaning heavily on her doorframe. “ You ready to go?” She smiled, resisting the urge to run a hand over his face.
“ Yeah,” he grinned, leaning down to kiss her head “ First we’ve got to swing by my place so I can change.”
“ Ok,” she reached for his hand, entwining her fingers in his, giving him a gentle pull as she led him towards the exit of her building “ we taking your car?”
“ Uh hum,” he nodded “ and no, we are just going long enough for me to change, nothing else.” He instantly saw the mischief dancing in her eyes and knew he was in serious trouble.
“ I promised to behave didn’t I?” she grinned, as she gave his hand a squeeze “ and I did give you your shirt back eventually.”
The images that popped into Grissom’s mind were far from her behaving herself. The image of his shirt draped over her body sent his senses into overdrive, and the fact that she’d seduced him while wearing it. Shaking himself mentally, trying to clear his mind of erotic images, he was more than thankful for the cold air that hit him, sending a cold chill through his body extinguishing the fire Sara had started.
His eyes wandered to her face, god he loved her. Here she was, with him when she could have her pick of any man she wanted. The love he felt burst into his heart, so intense that he stopped suddenly, bringing her to an abrupt halt beside him.
“ Griss?” she asked worriedly, her eyes scanning his face “ are you ok?”
The sheer adoration she saw in his eyes shook her to her core. She loved this man so completely she didn’t know where she ended and he began. Reaching up the hand that wasn’t clasped in his up to cup his face; she smiled directly into his eyes.
“ I love you,” he told her softly, emotions bubbling in his chest “ I love you so much.”
Sara felt the tears sting her eyes, how could she have been so lucky to find the one person who made her complete? “ I love you too Griss, I don’t think you know just how much.”
“ Oh I know,” he breathed as his lips touched hers briefly, just long enough to leave a promise of more to come.
“ We should go,” she said as she planted a kiss on the palm of his hand “ we need to get you out of those cloths, um, I mean you need to get out of those cloths.” Without another word, she pulled on his hand again, leading him over to the car. As they both got in and slammed the car doors, he knew she had known exactly what she’d just said. Groaning to himself as he started the engine, how late were they going to be tonight?
True to her word, she behaved while he changed, sitting on her hands the whole time. She did however send seductive longing looks in his direction, knowing the effect she was having on him. She couldn’t help herself; she just couldn’t seem to get enough of him. He did things to her that no man had ever been able to do, and most of the time he didn’t even realize he was doing anything.
Walking out of his bathroom, he watched her adoringly, catching the smoldering look in her eyes. She set him aflame with the passion in her eyes, and he gravitated towards her, his body having a will all of it’s own.
Sara sat motionless as he came towards her, a satisfied smile tugging at the side of her mouth. She kept her hands beneath her so she couldn’t reach for him and rid him of his cloths. Their eyes communicated wordlessly as he came within a breath of her.
“ Honey there is nothing more I would rather do than kiss you senseless and take you to bed,” he whispered so close to her lips that they were almost touching “ but we have to work.”
“ One kiss,” she whispered hoarsely, as she closed the distance to meet his lips, drawing his body closer to hers with her mouth. Her hands twitched beneath her, itching to reach out and touch him, but she knew if she did they wouldn’t get out of here on time.
Reluctantly she broke the kiss to smile up at him lovingly “ We should go.”
“ Yes,” he sighed, as he started to draw away, watching her curiously as she moved her hands from beneath her. “ Um, Sara?” he said softly “ why were you sitting on your hands?”
“ You told me to behave,” she grinned innocently as she got up off the couch and walked to the door “ I was just making sure I didn’t get the urge to touch you.”
“ Oh,” he chuckled, as he reached down to grab his jacket “ well what’s say we continue this after work, touching permitted?”
“ Oh yeah,” she smiled as she opened the door to wait for him outside.
Following her out and locking the door, he jumped with surprise when he realized how close she was to his ear “ I like that idea,” she whispered, her breath tickling his neck.
He gulped visibly as she moved away from him, a huge smile on her face “ Come on Griss, we’ll be late.” Then she turned and started to walk away.
Letting out a huge shuddering sigh, Grissom wondered for the hundredth time that night how he was going to survive the shift.
“Come on Griss,” she called happily, and he realized he didn’t really care as long as he came home with her at the end. Smiling to himself, he followed her, feeling happier than he ever had before.
Catherine buzzed excitedly around the break room. She was just dying to tell the guys that Sara was coming back, but she had promised to keep quiet and it was killing her.
“ Hey Catherine,” Nick sighed as he came through the door “ Griss not here yet?”
“ No not yet,” she smiled, lifting her coffee to take a sip.
“ Well aren’t you just the happy one?” Nick said glumly “ what’s got you in such a good mood?”
“ Who’s in a good mood?” Warrick asked as he came into the room.
“ Catherine,” Nick nodded over towards her “ though I can’t see why.”
“ Oh cheer up you two, anyone would think someone had died,” a voice came from the doorway.
Both men whipped around so fast they almost collided “ Sara?” Nick gasped, making his way towards her to gather her off the floor and spin her around. She clung to him, grinning wildly.
“ Sweetie put me down,” she laughed “you’re making me dizzy.”
Replacing her feet on the floor, he held onto her for just a little longer, then moved away to hold onto her hands “ Does this mean you’re staying?”
“ I’m staying,” she grinned as she felt herself engulfed in his arms again.
“ Hey,” Warrick moved closer to them “ mind if I have some of that?”
Sara couldn’t resist as she moved away from Nick, “ Well go ahead honey,” she smiled at Warrick “ he’s all yours!”
Warricks face lit up like a beacon “ Come here,” he grinned pulling her into his arms, rocking her from side to side “ don’t you ever leave us again you hear?”
“ I promise,” she smiled into his shoulder.
At that moment Grissom entered the break room, smiling at the happy scene before him. Catherine looked over and winked at him, making a slow blush rise up his face.
“ Hey,” Nick looked over at Catherine “ you knew didn’t you?”
“ Yeah,” she grinned “ sorry.”
“ Hey, she’s back that’s all that matters,” Nick smiled, reaching over to take her hands again.
“ Well, shall we get to work?” Griss asked as he handed out their assignments.
“ Aren’t you going to welcome her back Griss?” Catherine asked, a wicked gleam in her eyes.
His eyes shot to hers then over to Sara, who was finding the whole thing highly amusing.
“ Oh it’s ok,” she smiled sweetly “ he already took care of that.” She took the folder from Grissom, meeting his eyes for a brief moment, flashing him with a hint of fire, then turned to grab Nicky’s hand, pulling him out the door “ Come on sweetie, let’s get to work.”
Warrick watched them leave, a smile gracing his face “ Damn, it’s so good to have her back.”
“ Yes, it is,” Grissom nodded wistfully, then turned back to the rest of his team “ Well shall we get started?”
Warrick nodded and walked out the door, followed by Catherine, who on passing Grissom patted him on the shoulder “ Way to go,” she grinned as she moved past him.
A smile began to creep it’s was over his face. Taking one last look around the break room, he opened the folder in his hand. ‘Yep,’ he thought ‘ life doesn’t get much better than this.’ Reaching up he clicked off the light then followed his team, yes life was good.