A Thousand Reasons
By Clara
Summary: What he wants versus what can never be
Pairing: Jason/Sam
Set: During and after the second kiss
Rating: G
Disclaimer: They’re not mine!
Author’s notes: I said I wasn’t going to write GH fic…apparently I lied.
Dedication: To Krissy, thank you for keeping me supplied with tapes! I don’t
know what I’d do without you! *hugs*
He’s hesitant at first. Unsure of how she’ll respond now that neither of them
have any alcohol in their systems.
There are a thousand reasons why he should back away now before this goes some
place that he isn’t prepared to go but she’s intoxicating and part of him is
just so tired of playing down the chemistry between them and the reaction that
she can provoke in him.
So he kisses her, and for a moment, nothing else matters. Not Sonny, Courtney,
his job, nothing and he’d give anything to be able to keep on kissing her.
Slowly though, those thousand reasons begin to seep into his brain until he has
to pull away. He can see in her eyes what she wants him to say, but he can’t,
this couldn’t work and he shouldn’t have kissed her.
So he backs away and argues with her, a small war going on inside him as he
struggles with what he wants versus what can never be and it’s not just her he’s
trying to convince.
The last thing he has ever wanted to do is hurt her but that’s what he’s doing
and he doesn’t know how to stop, without compromising everything he’s been
fighting for for nine years.
He wants to be able to let her go so badly, but the truth is he cares too much
for that to happen, no matter how hard he’s trying to convince himself it’s the
best thing for them both.
He’s torn as the elevator doors close between them and the internal battle still
rages as despair sweeps through him at the thought of her truly being gone.
He wonders back into his apartment and for the first time, one side gains an
upper hand in his mind.
You shouldn’t have let her go.