Unhappily Ever After
By Clara
Summary: She wonders how she got to the stage where the idea of getting into bed
with her husband makes her shudder
Disclaimer: They're not mine
Category: Grissom/Sara, dark and bitter, future fic
Author's Notes: This wasn't the original idea I had for this fic but while
hiding from Nip/Tuck fic ideas this emerged. Thanks to SuzVoy who didn't
complain when I said I was stealing the title of her much happier Sam/Jack fic
;) Also Rachael who did a great job of betaing this for me.
Dedication: Ash. You'll always be my favourite Grissom/Sara shipper!...but never
ask me to write Sara fic again ;)
***
She can hear his soft snores from the next room and wonders how she got to the
stage where the idea of getting into bed with her husband makes her shudder.
She'd loved him once, of that she's sure, but somewhere along the line they'd
both changed and suddenly love wasn't enough anymore.
After four years of no contact, she had enjoyed chasing him again in Vegas. It
had taken another four to make him realise that they could have something
special; four more found her here, sitting on the couch, staring at the TV and
trying to pretend that she wasn't tired. All to put off walking into that room
and climbing into that bed.
Sometimes she thinks about leaving, but it's their daughter that keeps her
there. Ella needs a father as much as she needs her mother and Gil is a good
father, even if he never got around to being a good husband.
He's not completely to blame though. She's as much of a workaholic as he is and
somewhere in between looking after Ella, building their careers and solving
crimes, they'd forgotten about each other.
She doesn't even care enough to fight anymore, something that makes her sad and
that alone confuses her. Fighting would mean communication, something they
didn't do anymore.
She hears movement in the bedroom and turns her head in time to see Gil standing
in the doorway, his face half in shadow.
"Sara?"
"Yeah?"
He tilts his head to one side and gestures to the room behind him, "Are you
coming to bed?"
"In a minute, I want to see the end of this." She looks away from him and
pretends to focus on the TV again as he sighs and returns to the bedroom,
pretending not to notice that only a cosmetic infomercial fills the screen.
He'd been in love with her once, and he's convinced that he could be again, if
only he had the energy.
He knows she wants to leave. The healthy thing would be to tell her to go, but
his daughter means everything to him, and he can't risk losing her. He wanted a
life with Sara and Ella in it. He needed a life with them.
He feels like screaming at her to give him something to work with, some emotion
that he can use to figure out what's changed and how to fix it, but he doesn't.
He stays quiet and blames himself.
He wishes that he could spend more time with her, just the two of them and but
he can't bring himself to when he knows that the thought of them together
disgusts her just as much as it used to excite her.
He climbs into bed and stops himself from rolling over and looking at her
through the still open bedroom door. He wishes he could be a big enough man to
tell her to go and put them both out of their misery. The temptation is strong
but he refuses to give in and he hates them both for it.