Still Holding Out For You
By Clara
Summary: They didn�t kiss goodbye.
Spoilers: Lady Heathers box
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Category: CG, character death (tissue warning)
Rating: PG-13
Archive: Working Love, Shipperworld, Graveshiftcsi, Infinitely Better, my site
and Catherine Willows.
Author�s notes: Inspired by �Shedaisy-Still holding out for you� I recommend
listening to the song while reading this.
Dedication: Jo, since I kinda made her cry with this!
***
~Never thought I'd be in this place
It's someone else's life I'm living
Wish I were living a lie~
She�d never thought this would happen, not to her. She saw death everyday, but
it wasn�t meant to touch so close, not when things were finally the way she
wanted them to be after 16 years.
Their line of work had always held an element of risk, but it wasn�t supposed to
end with his death, they were meant to deal with already dead bodies and help
find the living who had hurt them. They weren�t supposed to fall to the same foe
as the victims they tried to help.
She dropped to her knees and placed her hand to her mouth, trying to hold back
the tears but to no avail.
She hardly noticed when Warrick wrapped his arms around her, trying to quieten
the sobs that now wracked her body, all she could focus on was the fact that he
was gone and no amount of praying or crying would bring him back to her.
She�d been in a rush to pick Lindsey up and had barely had time to shout a
goodbye through his door when their shift had ended, so he�d gone back alone to
the crime scene they�d been working. The rest was still being pieced together,
but he was gone.
So many things she�d change. She would have kissed him goodbye and warned him to
wait for her before it did anything. Told him she loved him and to come over for
lunch later. Anything that would have stopped him from going out alone.
When she did look up it was only to see Sara standing at the door, Nicks arm
around her, tears streaming down her face. How were they going to get through
this a second time? Holly�s death had been so hard to move past and she had been
new and none of them had had the chance to get close to her. Gil was different,
he was their boss, their friend, their mentor and her everything.
She had to tell Lindsey next. Tell her the man who she�d hoped would become her
stepfather, was never going to come through the front door again. She knew this
was going to be the hardest part. Gil had had so much to do with Lindsey
learning to deal with her father�s death, Catherine didn�t know how she�d come
with this.
She could still feel him from the last time they made love. His hands running
over her skin making her shiver, his breath as he whispered he loved her and his
lips as he kissed her softly, again and again.
Catherine let out a shuddered breath and tried to keep some control, but the
tears continued and she shut her eyes again against the pain, not sure how she
was ever going to face life without him.
She knew he wouldn�t want her thinking like that and she could hear him telling
her stay strong and stay with her daughter.
Knowing what he would have wanted didn�t translate into fact though and the
numbness began to settle in as her tears started to fade. She needed him and
despite her daughter and the 3 friends stood around her, she�d never felt so
alone.
~Some things a heart won't listen to
I'm still holding out for you
Holding out
Holding out for you~
Full lyrics can be found at: http://www.quicklyrics.com/lyrics/Shedaisy_Still-Holding-Out-For-You.htm