The Distance

Written By Clara

Disclaimer: They�re not mine
Archive: CSI-Forensics, Graveshift and my site
Summary: Past, present and future
Rating: PG
Category: CGR

Song List: A complete list of songs used is available here
Author�s notes: This started as answer to a challenge over at �Working Love� and some how it turned into this! Thanks to Jo and Erin for the beta!
Dedication: To the wonderful Jo R. What would I do without ya? ;)

***

What If I Said - 2024

�Gil, wake up!�

Catherine shook the unconscious man and breathed a sigh of relief when his eyes began to open.

�Catherine? What are we doing out here?�

She glanced around at their surroundings and shivered before turning back to Gil and explained what had happened.

They had been working the crime scene of a mother and daughters shooting when Catherine had felt the cold barrel of a gun against the back of her neck. When Grissom had entered the room the person whom Catherine assumed was the killer, had panicked and shot him in the shoulder.

For some reason she couldn�t quite fathom, rather than leave them at the scene and make a run for it, the man had decided to bundle them in a car and drive out to the middle of Diablo Canyon before driving off and leaving Catherine and Gil deserted.

Catherine was more than ready to admit she was scared. This was the first time Gil had woken up since he�d past out from pain in the car and the wound in his shoulder didn�t look good.

Sighing, Gil blinking before sitting up slowly, wincing as his wound made it self felt. �Any idea how far out we are?�

She shook her head and looked around again, �No way to tell, took us awhile to get here though.� She knew she should have tried to keep an eye on the cars mile ohmmeter, but at the time she�d been more worried about trying to stop him bleeding.

�Any one see us leave?�

�No one.�

Gil brought his hand up and gingerly prodded his shoulder before getting Catherine to pull the cloth she�d found in the car and tied around the wound, tighter.

Assessing the situation he asked, �Any chance of walking out of here?� but wasn�t surprised when she shook her head again in the negative.

They sat in silence for awhile then, both trying to come up with ideas to get them out of their present situation. As darkness began to fall they huddled together, both knowing how desert nights could be and that they couldn�t afford to lose any body heat.

Catherine watched as Gil slowly fell into a fitful sleep, the pain in his shoulder obviously bothering him. It was only when he began to settle down that she began to reminisce about how they had reached this point.

"We�ve been friends, for a long, long time.
You tell me your secrets and I tell you mine."
What If I Said? - Steve Wonder and Anita Cochrane

***
While I Was Waiting - 1987

Catherine shivered as she stood in the doorway of the cheap bar. The rain had begun shortly after she�d come off stage and now she was soaked though from the short walk to the bar.

Shaking her head in an attempt to dislodge some of the water in her hair, Catherine pushed open the door and surveyed room looking for Eric.

She had met Eric shortly after her brief and destructive stay in Seattle and had jumped at the chance to go to Las Vegas. It had turned out nothing like she�d expected it to. He�d had to search for an age in order to get his current job as a badly paid bouncer, so to make ends meet Catherine had begun to dance, a job that she was good at, but not one she planned to spend the rest of her life doing.

Sighing when she realised he wasn�t there yet, Catherine sat down at the crowded bar between two men, she smiled at the one on the left and tried to stay away from the one on the right. She ordered a screwdriver before glancing around the room again, frowning when she realised he was 30 minutes late.

�Waiting for someone?� The man on the left smiled at her and she couldn�t help but smile back at him.

�Yeah, my boyfriend, guess he got caught in the rain.� She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink before looking back at him. �What about you? Are you meeting anyone?�

He shook his head. �Nope I�m new in town, I don�t know anyone to meet.�

Catherine smiled slightly and tried to figure out what it was about this man that made her trust him. Usually she was wary of people she met in bars and didn�t know, but he seemed different, as clich�d as it sounded to her. �Oh, well I�m Catherine.� She extended her hand and shook his when he offered it to her.

�Gil Grissom.� He smiled and withdrew his hand, using it to pick up his drink and swirl the half melted ice mixed with amber liquid around the glass.

�What made you move here?� Catherine placed her head on her hand and tilted her head towards him, now intrigued.

�Work. I�m with the criminologist�s bureau. What do you do?�

Catherine tried not to look embarrassed when she replied and was surprised not to see condemnation in his eyes as he nodded before ordering another drink and offering to buy one for her to. An offer she wasn�t about to turn down.

They sat discussing their lives and both were surprised about how easy it was to open up to the other, neither usually being the type to share their history with complete strangers. Grinning Catherine was surprised to realise that she�d completely forgotten to keep an eye out for Eric and had given all of her attention to Gil.

As time wore on the bar began to empty and Catherine glanced down at her watch, surprised at the amount of time that had gone by. She stretched slightly and glanced at her companion apologetically. �I should probably get going, find out where Eric is.�

Gil stood and pulled on his coat and helped her off the barstool. �Come on, we might as well share a cab.� Catherine protested that she really couldn�t afford it but he wouldn�t listen and before she knew it the cab was pulling up outside of her apartment complex. Rummaging in her purse Catherine found a piece of paper and a pen, she quickly scribbled down her number before handing it to Gil.

�Here, since you don�t know anyone you�d better give me a call sometime� I had fun.� She smiled at him once more before climbing out of the cab. He called goodbye and she waved slightly before turning and walking up the steps of the building, she entered her apartment and fell gratefully into bed, not realising how tired she was until then or that Eric wasn�t in the bed beside her.

"I sat up at the bar talking to a stranger
It seemed a safe thing to do,
While I was waiting, while I was waiting for you"
While I Was Waiting - Chely Wright

***

Forgive - 1988

She crossed her arms and stared at her feet, wondering how it had ever come to this. She could feel his eyes on her back and she waited until she was sure she wouldn�t cry before turning around.

Eric�s eyes bore into hers as she began to move around the room gathering her things together, stuffing them into an overnight bag.

�Where are you going to go?� His words were almost whispered and Catherine could almost forget that this was the same man she had just caught having sex with someone else, in their bed.

The anger returned and she glared at him before shrugging and walking into the bathroom, scooping up an armful of cosmetics and toiletries before tossing them in the top of her bag.

Quickly, she zipped it up and lifted it off the bed; it was only then that she let her eyes meet Eric�s again. �I�ll be back for the rest later.� With that, Catherine grabbed her keys and a coat before walking out of the apartment, slamming the door as hard as she could.

Once in her car Catherine let her head drop to the steering wheel and the first few tears fall. Now that Eric had mentioned it, she couldn�t think of many places that she could stay until this was over. In the few months that she�d been there she hadn�t become particularly close to any of the girls at Dream Dolls and although it was only a short drive to her sisters, she didn�t particularly feel like getting lost in the abyss that cocaine would give her. Later on she came to believe that she�d drove there deliberately, but for now it surprised Catherine when she pulled up outside Gil�s townhouse.

They�d become what she supposed you�d call friends over the last few months and there was a certain safeness that his company offered that she found irresistible that night.

Carefully, Catherine climbed out of the car, pulling her bag with her and started up the steps toward the door, before she had a chance to reconsider.

Ringing the bell, Catherine waited for him to answer, she took the time to try and brush the last few tears from her face and hoped that he would be home that night and not at the lab. If there was one thing she�d learnt about Gil since they�d met, it was that he was married to his job and could frequently be found there long past the time when he was supposed to have left. She smiled slightly then and looked up as the door opened.

Gil stared at her for a moment, taking in the bag clutched in her hand and the tears shimmering in her eyes. Without saying a word he opened the door the rest of the way, letting her in and grabbed her bag as she passed.

He hadn�t been sure, but he�d thought Catherine had been unhappy at home for a while. He hadn�t thought much of Eric after his first meeting with Catherine when her boyfriend had stood her up and his opinion hadn�t changed after meeting the guy. He�d seemed brash and Gil hadn�t been impressed with the way he had talked to Catherine, expecting her to take everything he said as gospel.

Carefully he set her bag down by the side of the couch and gently pushed Catherine into sitting down, before lowering himself down next to her.

He watched as Catherine wrung her hands in her lap before letting her eyes meet his. �He was cheating. I caught them in my bed and I didn�t know where else to go.� More tears fell then and she angrily pushed them away. She had always hated needing help from anybody and tonight was no exception, but she was also a person who knew when she had run out of choices and this was one of them.

She didn�t protest when he pulled her against him, although she could tell he wasn�t entirely comfortable with the action, but she let herself find comfort in him for a few minutes before pulling back and wiping her eyes again with the back of her hand.

�You know you can stay. I wouldn�t turn you away.�

She wondered how far his words extended but knew that tonight wasn�t the time to explore that. So she nodded and smiled her thanks at him before letting him pull her up and lead her towards the guest room, snagging her bag up as they went.

On impulse, she kissed him on the cheek quickly before turning and setting her bag down on the chair at the bottom of the single bed. She heard the click of the door as he closed it in order to give her some privacy.

Sighing softly, Catherine lay down on the bed, not bothering to change her clothes, suddenly too exhausted from the nights events. She let her eyes drift shut and wondering if there would ever be a night in Las Vegas that turned out the way she�d envisioned her life here would be like.

"Forgive; oh that�s a mighty big word for such a small man.
And I�m not sure I can
Cause I don't even know now who I am"
Forgive - Rebecca Lynn Howard

***

Your Faith In Me - 1989

�What�s this?�

Catherine took another bite of her French toast and reached for the paper Gil had just thrown down onto the table.

She yelped when he slapped her hand away and rolled her eyes. �What?�

He leaned back and glanced around the diner, �Don�t get too excited. But there�s a job opening� and I know how you feel about puzzles.�

Gil couldn�t help but grin as Catherine�s eyes lit up and she smacked his hand away from the paper and opened it, a smile growing steadily across her face. �Are you serious?!�

�Well I can�t promise anything but you�d be good at this and the hours are slightly better��

She smiled as she read through the information about the interview he�d set up. �So... what am I gonna owe you for this?� Catherine was knew she was flirting slightly then, but the giddiness of knowing that she could soon be in a somewhat safer profession was catching up with her.

�Oh I�m sure I�ll think of something.� He grinned back at her before downing the rest of his coffee and standing up, tossing a few bills on the table to cover the cost of their food. �You can pay next time.�

With that Gil turned and left the diner, leaving Catherine feeling happier than she had in a long time.

"Your faith in me,
It pulls me through when there�s nothing left
To hold on to."
Your Faith In Me - Jessica Simpson

***

Believe It Or Not - 1993

The ringing started and it took Catherine a moment to realise that it was nothing to do with the computer she had managed to fall asleep on.

Drowsily she reached across the desk and picked up the phone. �Hello?� When no one replied Catherine sat up properly in her seat, brow furrowing in confusion. �Hello?�

�Catherine?�

The voice was so quiet that she had to think for moment before recognition dawned on her. �Gil? Are you ok?�

Glancing at the clock on the computer screen, Catherine was surprised to see it was way past midnight and a sense of dread began to form in the pit of her stomach. It was then that she realised he was crying.

�Gil? What�s happened? You�re scaring me.�

It took a couple of moments for him to compose himself enough to answer and when it did she felt like her heart would break for him, the pain in his voice so evident. �My mother died.�

�Oh Gil��

Catherine knew how close he was to his mother. He�d taken her to visit her just after she had joined the crime lab and had immediately struck up a rapport with the woman, even through she had had to communicate through Gil.

The thought that she was gone hurt her deeply, but she knew it was nothing compared to what Gil was feeling.

�Where are you?�

�St Mary�s. The nursing home called about an hour ago.�

Catherine held the phone to her ear and began to search around for her keys, cursing when she banged into the coffee table before finally finding the keys stuck down the back of the couch.

Quickly she promised Gil that she would be right there before hanging up and heading out of the front door, slamming it behind her.
***

Catherine entered the hospital 20 minutes later and had to marvel about the fact that she hadn�t got a speeding ticket on the way over, she doubted she�d ever driven that fast in her life.

Shaking her head she glancing around the waiting room of the ER and eventually spotted Gil huddled in a corner, the look on his face making her just want to hold him.

Silently she walked over and sat down next to him, grabbing his hand as she did so. �Gil, I�m so sorry.� She ran her free hand through his face before letting it rest on the side of his face.

Carefully, Catherine brushed away the tears as they continued to fall down his already tear streaked face, finally she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her, relief ran through her when his arms came around her and she buried her face in his shoulder. Not realising until then just how much she had wanted to be held as well.

It felt like hours later when they eventually pulled away from each other, Catherine taking the opportunity to grab hold of his hand again and pulling him out of the seat, taking a deep breath as she did so.

Quietly they left the hospital and walked towards where she�d parked the car, hands staying entwined until they reached the car. Catherine pushed Gil into the passenger seat before climbing in and pulling out of the car lot and back onto the main road.

She didn�t ask him if he wanted her to take him home and simply drove to her apartment, knowing that he needed her comfort that night and would be more likely to except it, if he didn�t think she felt like she had to be there.

They stayed quiet the entire ride to her apartment block, Gil was lost in his own thoughts and Catherine alternated between keeping her eyes on the road and glancing across at the man next to her.

She�d never seen him this vulnerable before and it scared her to see him this way. Gil was a man who felt things deeply but hardly ever showed his true feelings and Catherine worried that he would begin to burry himself away, which she knew would be much worse in the long run.

When they arrived Catherine pulled him out of the car and into her apartment, helping him towards her bedroom. Carefully, she undressed him until he was sat on her bed with just his boxer shorts and a tee shirt on.

Without a word she pushed him into laying down, before taking a pair of sleep shorts and tee shirt out of her chest of draws and went into the bathroom to change, while brushing her teeth, she stared at the image looking back at her in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and she knew there was no way she would make it to work the next day.

Resolving to get up briefly the next morning to phone in for herself and Gil, Catherine finished in the bathroom and walked back into her bedroom, not surprised to see Gil hadn�t moved at all while she was out of the room.

She shut the light off before climbing into the bed next to him and pulling the covers over them, she wrapped her arm around his waist and snuggled up to his side, offering him her comfort.

After a while, Catherine felt his arm wrap around her and sighed when she heard his breathing even out. Lifting her head up, she looking at his face and was relived to see some of the tension had left him.

Laying back down she placed her head on his chest and quietly settled down to wait for the dawn.

"I don�t wanna believe you�re gone.
Something's are true,
Whether you,
Believe it or not."
Believe it or not - Rebecca Lynn Howard

***

Rainbow - 1995

The first stab of pain came around midnight and six hours later Catherine had no doubt that she was in labour.

She had been trying to reach Eddie on his cell for five of those hours and each time she was forwarded to his answering machine. Swearing she clicked the phone off again and threw it on the bed as she tried to figure out what to do.

There was no way she wanted to drive herself to the hospital and she was beginning to panic that her baby would be born on the bathroom floor.

Sitting down on the side of the bed, Catherine tried to breath and push the panic away long enough to think clearly. Her sister was out of town so she couldn�t call her and she doubted any of the dancers she had formerly worked with would be willing to help her out, which left one person, Gil.

Quickly, she snatched the phone up from where she�d dropped it and punched in his number, counting the rings. When the line clicked signalling someone had picked up the phone, Catherine couldn�t keep the fear out of her voice.

�Gil!?�

�Catherine?� Suddenly he sounded wide-awake. �Are you ok?�

She could have laughed then. �Not really� I�m been in labour for 6 hours and I can�t get hold of Eddie� Gil, I�m scared.�

She could here him the rustling of what she assumed was him looking for his car keys. �Hang on Cath, I�ll be right there.�

He arrived 15 minutes later she was sat on her front step waiting for him, bag at her feet. Quickly, he jumped out of the car and knelt down next to her, touching her arm softly. �Come on Cath� you ready to go?�

Nodding she let him help her up and didn�t protest when he grabbed her bag, throwing it in the back seat before helping her into the passenger side.

They drove to the hospital mostly in silence, Catherine�s face screwed up in discomfort. It wasn�t until they made it inside the hospital and to the reception desk that Gil allowed himself to relax slightly. He couldn�t help but admit that knowing Catherine was in safe hands made him feel a whole lot better.

It took just over 20 minutes to get Catherine settled in a room and then everything began to move quickly. Despite his protests that he should go and find Eddie for her, Catherine wouldn�t let Gil leave her and in the end he wouldn�t have missed it for the world.

After the nurses had gotten her all cleaned up, he watched as Catherine held her daughter for the first time. Lindsey seemed like the most perfect baby in the world to her mother and her �uncle� couldn�t disagree.

�You want to hold her?� She smiled at him which quickly turned into a grin at the look on his face. �Gil, you won�t break her.�

Carefully, he sat down on the edge of the bed and Catherine handed Lindsey to him. He looked down at her before glancing back at her mother. �She�s beautiful Cath.�

After a few minutes he handed Lindsey back to her mother, who placed her in the cot next to the bed.

�You should get some rest while she�s sleeping. I�ll be back in a little while.� He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead before straitening up. �Congratulations Catherine.�

She smiled back at him and watched as he left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. Then her eyes drifted shut to catch some sleep before her daughter woke up.

"Thunder,
Proceeds the sunlight,
So I�ll be alright."
Rainbow - Mariah Carey

***

I Wanna Know - 1999

�Grissom!�

Gil looked up as an excited Catherine walked into his office, his smile matched hers as she sat down in the chair opposite his desk.

�How come you didn�t tell me?!� She gestured to the new badge hanging around her neck, which proudly proclaimed her to be a CSI two.

�What and spoil the fun of seeing you like this? I don�t think so!�

She rolled her eyes at him the before replying �Naa, you�d have gotten this and a kiss as well.� She winked and stood up again, too excited to sit still.

�You know, I�m feeling pretty wired, wanna go get some coffee?�

�You want to drink caffeine while wired� worrying.� He grinned back at her before standing never the less.

Together they walked out of the office and Catherine was surprised to realise it was the end of their shift. She sent her companion a sideways glance before realising that was probably the only reason she�d gotten him out of the building without a struggle.

They made small talk as they walked towards the diner down the street, mostly about Lindsey and how well she was doing in Pre School.

When they reached the diner, Catherine placed her sunglasses on her head and sank down into the booth before reaching for the menu and trying to decide what she wanted to celebrate with.

Finally, she chose pancakes and coffee, while Gil stuck to just coffee. They continued to talk over coffee while waiting for Catherine�s pancakes.

�Is everything ready for Lindsey�s birthday on Saturday?�

Catherine grinned and nodded, her eyes lighting up again at the mention of her daughter. �She�s so excited. Keeps dropping hints about the presents she�d like.�

Gil chuckled before taking a sip of his coffee, �Want me to come early and help you set up?�

�Ugh, thank you, that�d be great! I�m not overly sure what Eddie will be doing.� Her eyes clouded over then and she looked down into her coffee cup.

He looked at her in concern then. �What�s happened now?�

Catherine shook her head and smiled sadly at him. �Nothing, it�s probably just me.� She really didn�t want to give Gil any reason to worry. She knew he�d spotted the bruises on her arms, but had known better that to mention it. Now she was starting to wish he�d call her on it, anything to get this thing out in the open.

Just then her pancakes arrived and she concentrated on eating them and avoiding Gil�s attempts at catching her eye.

�Catherine? If he�s hurt you, I want to help, I care about you.�

She did look up at him then, knowing that this was far more information that he usually let on and it helped to know he would be there for her. She reached across the table and grabbed his hand, squeezing it quickly before letting it go.

�I know. I care about you to.�

She smiled at him again before glancing at her watch. �I�d better get going if I want to see Lindsey before she leaves.�

They paid the bill before leaving and walking back to the office together, where Gil watched Catherine drive off and wondered just how much more she could take.

"I wanna know what makes you cry,
So I can be the one to always make you smile."
I Wanna Know - Joe

***

Falling Apart - 1999

Gil was slightly taken aback when a harassed looking Catherine opened the door and stared at him. �Uhh... Hey?�

He�d agreed to come over early to help her get ready for Lindsey�s fourth birthday, but from the sounds coming from inside the house the party had started early.

Snapping out of it, she offered him a half smile before ushering him into the house.

�Uncle Grissom!!!!� He was nearly knocked off his feet when a little cannon ball threw herself into his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck.

�Hey kiddo, happy birthday!� Slowly he let her slip to the floor before handing her a brightly wrapped present. He grinned as she ripped off the paper to reveal a chocolate coloured teddy bear which she quickly hugged to her chest before running off to show her friends, shouting thank you over her shoulder.

After she�d left his line of vision, Gil turned around the face Catherine, whom he noticed for the first time didn�t seem very happy.

�Cath what�s wrong?�

She sighed and crossed her arms, looking down at her feet. �Eddie�s not here.�

�What?�

She shrugged before continuing. �He didn�t come home last night and he hasn�t shown up for his daughter�s birthday party.�

Gil could feel his anger towards Eddie rising. This was getting ridiculous, it seemed like he hadn�t seen Catherine smile properly in weeks and he knew her husband was the cause, he just didn�t know how to bring it up or how he could help.

Sighing Catherine walked past him and ran her fingers through her hair before walking into the back garden and waving at Lindsey as she played with her friends.

�I don�t know what to do Gil. I know something is wrong, I just can�t seem to fix it.� She glanced at him over her shoulder, darkness clouding her features. �I don�t know how to make it better.�

Before she could cry, he pulled her into the kitchen where they could have some privacy and put his arm around her waist. �You know I can�t give you advice Cath, I�m not good with relationships�but you�re not happy.�

She nodded and turned her head into his chest letting the tears fall. They stood like that for awhile before they heard a sound at the door and looked up to see Eddie Willows, who Gil was almost certain, was drunk.

�Well, what�s going on in here?�

�Nothing Eddie. Where have you been!? It�s Lindsey�s� birthday!�

Eddie�s lip curled into a sneer as he glared at his wife. �What do you care? You�ve got your boyfriend here�� his words were slurred and Catherine shrank back at his accusation even knowing it wasn�t true.

Gil for his part didn�t back away and just stared back at Eddie, �Nothing has ever happened between us. You should know that.�

The heat of Eddie�s glare intensified before he turned it back to Catherine �Well, she is a whore, who knows how many people she�s sleeping with?�

Eddie didn�t know what hit him then when Gil lunged forward and punched him, sending him sprawling across the floor.

�Gil!� Catherine jumped forward and laid a hand on his arm. �It�s ok� you should probably go.�

Still angry, Gil glanced at Catherine before nodding and walking towards the door, stepping over Eddie as he went. �I�ll call you later.�

As he left the house Gil couldn�t help but be angry with himself, knowing that he�d just made things a hell of a lot worse.

"I�ve held it all inside,
For so long.
I feel like I�m falling apart."
Falling Apart - Clare McIntosh (aka Clara)

***

The Distance - 1999

He should have been surprised, but really he wasn�t. Gil stood in silence as he watched someone who looked remarkably like Eddie kissing a woman who certainly wasn�t Catherine.

Clenching his fists, he resisted the urge to go over and knock some sense into the man, knowing Catherine wouldn�t be thankful for his interfering in the long run.

Glancing over his shoulder Gil spotted Amanda, one of the younger CSIs, trying to get his attention. He acknowledged her with a nod before turning back to the scene before him and again wasn�t surprised to see staring back at him, a look of horror etched on his face.

Disgusted, Gil turned away and walked over to Amanda who filled him in on her findings before packing up her equipment while Gil�s mind continued to race about the scene across the casino floor.

He�d known that Eddie and Catherine were having problems and he couldn�t deny that he�d never been a fan of the man. His behaviour at Lindsey�s birthday party the month before and missing her birth all together had been just two of too many times when Gil had seen the pain on his friends face, put there by her husband.

Rubbing a hand over his eyes, Gil contemplated what to do now. Confront Eddie and risk doing something he shouldn�t, tell Catherine or forget what he�d seen. Frankly, he couldn�t see any of the options turning out well. He snorted then; Eddie was cheating on the one of the few people he considered to be friends, how was there ever going to be a chance of this turning out well?

Looking up, he realised the decision had been made for him as he spotted Eddie walking towards him. �Gil.�

�Eddie.�

Well� this was uncomfortable. Eddie had the good grace to at least look embarrassed and looked down, shuffling his feet. Gil cleared his throat and waited for Eddie to say something, not ready to help him out at all, right now he resembled a little boy just waiting to be told off and Gil didn�t want to give him the satisfaction of being right.

�Listen, it�s been over with Cath for a while now, she knows all about this.�

Gil was willing to bet money on the fact that Catherine knew very little about what her husband was up to that night and folded his arms in silence, waiting for Eddie to continue.

�Ok, she doesn�t exactly know. But I�m gonna tell her, all I�m asking is that you don�t say anything to her until I do.�

He could help but raise an eyebrow at that, the sarcasm obvious in his reply. �Oh? Is that all?�

Eddie�s voice developed an edge then, deciding playing for Gils sympathy wasn�t going to work. �Gil, do you really think she�d thank you for making it your business? For interfering?�

Gil started back, determined not to be intimidated. �Tell her soon Eddie. I mean it, or I will.� He didn�t wait for a reply then and walked out. Wondering how long it would be before things started to fall apart.

"I can�t stand the distance,
I can�t take the miles,
I can�t take a breath until the next time I see you smile."
The Distance - Evan and Jaron

***

Just About Now - 1999

Like nearly 10 years before when she had turned up at his home having broken up with Eric, he should have been surprised that he was the one she had come to, but he wasn�t.

He opened the door and let her in, Lindsey fast asleep on her shoulder. Silently, he took the little girl and placed her sleeping form in his bed, planning to let Catherine have the spare room, while he slept on the couch.

Walking back into the lounge, he saw Catherine sat with her head in her hands, tears streaming down her face. He sat down next to her and stared at his own hands, not entirely sure what to say or do. He settled for placing a hand on her shoulder, knowing that she would talk when she was ready.

They sat like that until Catherine�s sobs had subsided and she was once again in control. She leaned back and somehow he found himself sitting with his arm around her, Catherine�s head on his shoulder.

�He was cheating on me.�

Gil nodded and pulled her tighter against him. �I know.�

She lifted her head of his shoulder and looked at him, �How?�

He sighed and looked away, the guilt evident on his face. �I saw him. He told me he was going to tell you himself and asked that I didn�t say anything until he hadn�t.�

He risked a glance back at her and was surprised to see understanding rather than anger on her face. He wondered then how she�d feel in the morning, if the fact that he�d known and not told her would have sunk in by then, he didn�t think it had yet considering the way she had dodged the issue.

�The first time, I thought it would be better for Lins if I stayed and acted like nothing was wrong, but he�s staying out more and says he loves this one.�

The first time? This was news to him. Gil had been under the impression this was the first time and he wondered why she hadn�t told him.

�Why did you marry him?� He glanced down at her head where it had found its way back to his shoulder and watched as her body stiffened at his question. He hoped he hadn�t crossed the line but he�d always wondered.

Eddie had never seemed like a good man to him. Too many late nights spent drunk and too many bruises on Catherine�s skin that she�d hadn�t been able to explain away.

�I was pregnant and I wanted my baby to have a family.� She shrugged then before continuing, �I didn�t know how he�d become.�

She looked up at him and the back at her hands. �You know, I wish you had told me. I would have been ready for him then.� There was still no anger in her voice and Gil felt himself growing angry in her place, at both himself and Eddie.

�I didn�t want you to blame me for telling you. I thought it would be better for him to tell you and to be here for you when he did.� He lifted her chin with his hand then and forced her to look at him, �I am sorry Cath.�

She nodded and smiled slightly before letting her eyes drift closed as he let go of her chin. She tried to relax and forget for a moment about all that had just happened.

Suddenly her eyes snapped open and she was overwhelmed by panic at the reality that she was about to divorce her husband and the number of things that had to be sorted out.

Catherine tried to breath and calm herself down while Gil rubbed her back and made soothing noises. Then she was crying again and wasn�t aware of what he was doing anymore.

When the next round of tears had stopped, Gil pulled her towards the guestroom like he had before, only this time she didn�t let him leave the room and uttered simply �I don�t want to be alone.�

Gil nodded and lay down next to her, eventually managing to shift them into a comfortable sleeping position on the narrow bed. After a while he heard Catherine�s breathing even out, signalling that she had fallen asleep. He lay awake for awhile longer before joining her in sleep.

As he drifted off, he couldn�t help but think what the next few months were going to be like for Catherine and Lindsey and he would do anything to help them.

"And it�s just about now,
That the tears start to fall.
And I wonder if I�m gonna make it at all."
Just About Now - Faith Hill

***

This Woman Needs - 2024

She glanced back at him and smiled softly before taking a deep breath and pulling out the draw.

Quickly, she collected the DNA, before looking down at Holly�s body one more time, �I�m sorry.� She whispered before pushing the draw containing her friend�s body back into its refrigerator and running from the room, no longer being able to keep the grief at bay.

Closing the door behind her, she leaned back against it and a hand flew to her mouth as her eyes closed.

She didn�t jump when he pulled her to him, his arms wrapping around her as she let out a shuddering breath. She needed him then.

�It�s not fair Gil.� His chin rested on top of her head as he silently offered her comfort.

No it wasn�t fair. It had been Holly�s first night and she certainly hadn�t deserved what had happened to her and Catherine didn�t deserve the guilt she was placing on herself now.

�We�ll get him Cath.� He felt her nod as she pulled back and smiled at him before wiping a couple of tears from her face. He sighed and looked at her critically. �You gonna be alright?�

She nodded again and gave him a half smile, �I�ll be fine.�

Slowly they started walking towards the DNA lap together and what they both hoped was the answer to their questions.

"'Cause this woman needs,
A safe place to land.
The strength in your hands.
To know you know,
What this woman needs."
This Woman Needs - SheDaisy

***

I Can't Break Down - 2024

Catherine stared at the letter on the table before dropping her head in her hands. She couldn�t believe this was happening. She�d always tried to be a good mother to Lindsey and until 30 minutes ago she had thought she�d been doing a good job.

Sighing she tried to think rationally. No one was ever going to believe her word against Eddies but her mistake the day before was really starting to weigh on her mind.

Knowing she needed help, Catherine grabbed the letter off the table and left the break room, heading for Grissom�s office, having seen him arrive back a few minutes earlier.

Quickly she knocked on the door and couldn�t help but feel slightly relieved when he looked up and smiled at her. �Hey.�

�Hey.� Walking in, she sat down in the chair opposite him and lifted the paper up, reading the first couple of lines out to him.

�He can�t do that!�

�Well, he did.� She brushed her hair out of her face and leaned forward, handing the letter over to him. Gil took the letter and put his glasses on, skimming through the rest of the letter.

�So we�ll fight him.�

Catherine was starting to wonder if he was being less rational than she was, but was somewhat comforted by his wording. �There�s no point. We�ll let them investigate and they�ll find nothing� I just, never thought this was something I�d be going through.�

Gil looked at her with sympathy in his eyes and wondered just how much more Eddie was going to put her through. He�d hoped when Catherine had divorced him that Eddie would stop hurting her, he guessed he should have known better.

Standing, he walked around the other side of his desk and sat on the edge close to her. �Catherine, you are a fantastic mother, Lindsey adores you and everyone here knows you�re not a bad mother.�

She gave him a half smile before standing. �Thanks Gil.� She glanced down at her watch, �I should probably get going� See you tomorrow?�

He nodded an affirmative and watched as she walked out the room before his eyes hardened and he sighed, knowing the next few weeks were going to rival those after Catherine had left Eddie.

"Tear don�t you fall,
Eyes don�t you cry.
Need to get me round this corner,
I can�t break down,
break down"
I Can't Break Down - Sinead Quinn

***

There You Are - 2024

Catherine had taken pity on him after finding him half asleep at his desk and in obvious pain. The only solution she could think of was to take him home with her and make sure he got a good nights sleep.

He�d proved her right when they had gotten back to her place and he�d fallen asleep practically as soon as he�d sat down on her couch.

She still didn�t know what he�d been thinking, going after Goggle without backup and with only Nick knowing where he was. But she thanked god that he wasn�t dead like Goggle�s other victims, whether he�d fit the victim profile or not, it had been close.

Sighing, she sat in the chair opposite the couch with a cup of coffee and a book, wanting to be near by in case he woke, as much for his sake as for hers.

She wondered at her growing feelings for this man. He�d been there for her during a hell of a lot and she wouldn�t deny that at times she wished for more, something she guessed they address at some point, these things always were.

Leaning back, Catherine contemplated the book in her hand before tossing it onto the coffee table, acknowledging that she really was too tired herself to read.

So balancing the coffee in one hand, she grabbed the remote and flicked on the TV, watching mindless talk shows at low volume.

Finally she even gave up on the minor stimulation the TV offered and settled back in the chair and just watched Gil sleep. He seemed content for the first time since the first victim of Goggle had been discovered and she couldn�t help the slight smile.

Shaking her head she turned away from him and tried to shift in the chair, trying to get into a position in which she could comfortably sleep without crushing her spine.

�Cath?�

�Hey.� She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled.

�Come over here would you? You�re keeping me awake.� A grin spread across her face as she stood up and walked across the room, sitting down on the couch beside him, letting him rest his feet in her lap. �Get some sleep Willows.�

She shook her head again before patting his leg and closing her eyes, knowing that whatever her relationship with Gil was becoming, she never give up these moments.

"When I�m looking for the light,
In the middle of the night,
Searchin� for the brightest star,
There you are."
There you are - Martina McBride

***

Don't Let Go - 2024
�How are you feeling?�

Catherine looked up in surprise as Gils� voice sounded from the doorway. She�d thought he was still working on his case and hadn�t been expecting him back for a while.

�I�m ok, head�s sore though.�

�I can imagine.� Walking in, Gil sat down in the chair opposite of her and stared longingly at the coffee cup in her hand.

�You know there�s some in the pot.�

�Yeah, but it�s more fun stealing it from you.�

Rolling her eyes, she handed the cup over and started to pack away the paperwork she�d been working on.

�How come you�re not working in the lab?�

She shrugged and then smiled at him. �Coffee�s here.�

�True.�

Catherine watched him drain the rest of the cup and then stretched slightly as she stood up, suddenly feeling tired. She hadn�t gotten much sleep since the whole attack had happened, not having liked being alone. Warrick had offered to sleep on her couch, but despite admitting her weakness to him, it had still seemed a little too personnel.

�You want a lift home?� For the 2nd time that night he made her jump and she realised she must have been thinking too hard again.

Shaking her head she gave him a smile and glanced at the door. �No thanks, I think now it�s all over I�ll be fine.�

He nodded and looked down at the empty cup in his hands, tilting it from side to side. �Call if you need me?�

�You know it�. Night Gil.�

�Night Catherine.� He stood up and washed out the cup before heading back to his office, content that if she needed him, she�d find him. She always did.

"So I'm leaning on you now into the night.
Don�t let go."
Don�t let go - David Sneddon

***

Grown Men Don't Cry - 2024

He hadn�t told her. They�d done so much and been through so much together and he still hadn�t told her.

She supposed she should have worked it out sooner. She knew his family history and the signs had definitely been there but she hadn�t wanted to recognise them.

Catherine sighed and titled her head back, staring at the door of his office, her arms crossed and a frown marring her face.

She hadn�t let herself think about it until they had left the courtroom, they�d gotten the right result but the case had cost Grissom something. Of that she was sure.

Making her mind up, Catherine walked towards the office and knocked quickly, not giving herself any time to change her mind.

�Come in!�

She entered the room and closed the door swiftly behind, Catherine turned and looked at the man sitting behind the desk. He gave her a half smile and she thought she saw realisation flash through his eyes.

�When were you gonna tell me?�

Gil took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. �I�m not sure� soon.�

She sat down opposite him and tried to hide her emotions. �How progressed is it?�

�There are times when I can�t hear at all. Most of the time I�m fine but it is getting worse.� He glanced down at his hands before continuing. �I was going to tell you Cath. I just� I just wanted to come to terms with it myself first.�

She shook her head and looked away, not wanting him to see how hard this was for her. Hot when he needed her.

�Cath? It�s going to be fine.�

�Shouldn�t I be the one telling you that?� She laughed slightly at the role reversal and leaned back in the chair. �What happens now?�

�Now? Well, we keep doing our jobs and try to get past this. I can still do this, I�d be the first to admit of I wasn�t.�

She nodded and stood up. �Wanna get some dinner?�

He smiled and gathered his things together, glad that he no longer had to hide from her. �Love to.�

"I don�t know why they say grown men don�t cry."
I Don�t Know Why They Say Grown Men Don�t Cry - Tim McGraw

***

My Best Friend - 2024

Catherine smiled at him over her shoulder as she made her way out of the building and towards the Tahoe. She could tell Gil hadn�t understood why she had to go to the execution, especially when she was pretty sure it was going to give her a sleepless�day. But she needed closure, there was no doubt about it.

Sighing she got behind the wheel and just sat there for a moment, staring back at the labs. To be truthful, she was scared. It wasn�t her fault which way the evidence went in convincing a jury and this time there was no doubt that John Mathers was guilty, but it was something else to see a man die on the evidence she�d collected, justice or not.

She�d been telling the truth when she�d spoken to Warrick earlier, she did try not to think about it too much, but sometimes it was unavoidable.

Snapping out of it, she pulled on her seatbelt and started the car, pulling out of the car park. She seriously contemplated asking Gil to go with her to this and probably would have if she hadn�t known how busy everyone was trying to catch the first killer. The moral support he could have provided was certainly appealing and unfortunately for just not practical right then.

Turning on the radio, she continued to drive and try to forget just where she was going and why for a moment.
***

Catherine left the prison and drove home in almost a daze. She thought later that she was extraordinarily lucky she hadn�t gotten into an accident.

Grabbing her bag, she locked the door and made her way up the front steps, running a hand through her hair. Too busy rooting around in her bag for her keys, she didn�t notice him until she almost tripped over him and he had to reach up and grab her arm to keep her steady.

�Hey.�

�Hey� Gil, why are you sitting on my steps?� She regained her balance and pulled back, looking down at him with a slight smile on her face.

�I wanted to surprise you and make sure you were alright.�

The smile turned into a grin and she pushed him over slightly and sat down next to him. �I�m fine. A little shook up, but I�m ok. You know you could have waited inside. That�s why you have a key.�

He shrugged and looked up at the stars. You could hardly see them from the strip, too many neon lights, but out here they were clear and bright and Gil couldn�t help but think they were slightly awe inspiring. �It�s a nice night out, you can see the stars so clearly.�

Catherine studied his profile for a couple of minutes before replying, �You�re gonna come in now though right?�

He turned and looked at her, face only inches from hers and nodded. �Right.�

Standing, Catherine dusted herself off before grabbing Gil�s hand and pulling him up with her. �Good.�

Still holding his hand, neither quite sure why, she open the door and dragged him inside, closing the door firmly behind them.

"I never had no one,
I could count on,
I've been let down so many times.
I was tired of hurtin',
So tired of searchin',
'Til you walked into my life"
My Best friend- Tim McGraw

***

Talk About Us - 2024

**** leads straight on from �My Best Friend� ****

Somehow and she really wasn�t sure on this, as soon as they had gotten through the door, Gil�s arms had wrapped around her and she buried her face in his neck. The stress caused by the last few days finally catching up with her.

He didn�t smell of the lab, but of soap and she wondered briefly if he�d gone home and showered before coming to wait on her doorstep. She couldn�t help but be glad Lindsey was staying with a friend that night, she�d seen her mother cry far too many times for Catherine�s liking already.

Pulling back, she smiled up at him as he brushed away the tears that she hadn�t realised were falling. Taking hold of his hand again, Catherine pulled him over to the couch and they sat down, her head on his shoulder.

Attempting to get more comfortable, she turned her head towards him and sighed, her eyes slipping shut.

Gil could feel her breath on his skin and shivered slightly, disturbing Catherine who lifted her head up and looked at him. Planning to apologise, Gil turned his head and found himself staring into her eyes.

He was almost as surprised as she was when his hand travelled to the back of her neck, pulling her lips to his.

It only lasted a second before he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers. Catherine�s hand came up and wrapped around his wrist not letting him pull away.

�This isn�t a good idea right now.� The words were almost whispered but he had to admit she was right. No matter how much he wanted this, wanted her.

He nodded and moved his hand from her neck; until he was holding on to the hand that had been on his wrist, before pulling away fully and leaning back against the couch. �Gil� Don�t get me wrong here, I care about you so much and I want this more than you�d probably believe, but it�s not a good idea while we�re still working together�.�

He turned and faced her again, giving her a sad smile. �You know, I�m getting tired of it. I�ve cared about you for so long and it�s never been right��

Her expression matched his then and her eyes drifted down to their entwined hands. �I�ve been thinking, maybe we should change things?�

Catherine looked at him in confusion. �What are you talking about Gil?�

�If circumstances haven�t changed in a year, we change things ourselves�.Deal?�

She smiled then and nodded. �Deal.� She knew this was the best kind of commitment they could give each other then and making a promise to try for something in the future made the situation that much easier to deal with.

Glancing down with his watch, Gil sighed and shifted in his seat. �I�d better get going�you�ll be ok?�

Catherine replied in the affirmative and tried to keep herself from grinning. �I�ll see you tomorrow.�

She watched him leave before leaning back against the cushions, letting her eyes drift closed; Catherine fell asleep and wasn�t haunted by dreams for the first time in weeks.

"Oh my love,
I think that we should talk about us"
Talk About Us- Jennifer Lopez

***

Stop Living The Lie - 2024

Catherine opened her eyes and looked down at the man lying with his head in her lap. Her hand drifted up and she brushed the hair away from his forehead as he slept.

Their agreement had been made over a year ago. The deadline being two months ago and neither had mentioned it. Catherine being too scared in case he had changed his mind and she wasn�t entirely sure Gil still felt the same.

She shifted slightly and pulled her legs out from under her, trying not to disturb Gil too much, but despite her best efforts, he began to wake up, groaning slightly.

�Hey... Don�t move too much.�

Gil looked up at her and grimaced. �I�ll work on that��

She smiled down at him and then looked around at their surroundings again. The sun had begun to rise and Catherine couldn�t help but marvel at how beautiful the scene was.

Looking back at Gil, she helped him sit up and let him lean against her. �You know, it�s been over a year.�

She felt more than heard his reply. �I was beginning to think you weren�t going to bring it up.�

�Well, I wasn�t sure you still felt the same!�

�Catherine, my feels haven�t changed in 16 years� what makes you think they�d change now?�

She was momentarily stunned by his admission. Not expecting for him to admit that much, even with their conversation last year. She settled for shaking her head slightly and smiling.

�It�s time to change things Gil.�

�How are we going to do that Catherine?�

�Well, there�s always-�

She was interrupted by what sounded to them like a helicopter, looking up Catherine began to wave her arms and was unbelievably relieved when it began to descend a short way from them.

Watching, she felt like crying when Sara jumped out, followed closely by Warrick and a paramedic.

�Catherine, Grissom!� Sara ran over and crouched in front of them. �Are you ok?�

Catherine nodded and gestured to Gil as she spoke, �I�m fine, Grissom�s been shot in the shoulder, we should probably get to a hospital.�

The paramedic nodded his agreement and helped Gil to his feet, supported by Warrick, they made their way to the helicopter, followed closely by Catherine and Sara.

�How�d you find us?�

�Suspect robbed a convenience store just outside of town, Nick found blood in the car and it matched the description of the one gunning it away from your crime scene� the guy folded pretty quickly and told us where you were.�

Smiling in relief Catherine let Warrick pull her into the helicopter and took Gil�s hand again. They watched in silence as the desert disappeared from view as they headed back to the city.

"We all have a saviour,
So do yourself a favour,
Stop living the lie."
Stop Living The Lie - David Sneddon

***

Not Gonna Do Anything Without You - 2024

She didn�t let go of him again until they reached the hospital and the doctors began to look Gil over. She�d wanted to stay with him even then, but the doctors had thought it best for her to wait outside.

The idea that she could have lost him before they had had a chance to sort things out had hit her hard and now Catherine sat slumped in an uncomfortable hospital chair, waiting with Warrick and Sara for news of Gil.

Nick had been dispatched to pick up Lindsey from Catherine�s sister, so that she could see for herself that her mother was ok.

Sighing, she ran a hand through her hair and stood up, she wrapped her arms around her waist and began to pace the waiting room. It wasn�t until Lindsey arrived nearly an hour later that she began to relax holding her daughter securely in her arms.

Quietly, they settled down together to wait for Gil, as Lindsey told Catherine about school the previous day and playing with her cousin.

�Ms. Willows?�

Catherine looked up to see the Doctor who Gil had gone in with earlier, standing above her. �Oh, hi.� She stood up carefully. �How is he?�

The Doctor smiled at her and led her through the doors to where Gil was waiting for her. �He�ll be fine, the bullet didn�t do any major damage and the wound track was clear. I want to keep him over night for observation, but he should be allowed home tomorrow.�

But she wasn�t really listening to him anymore as she spotted Gil sitting up in one of the beds, grinning at her. Smiling back, she made her way over and sat down next to him. �Hey.�

�Hey. Is everyone outside?�

Catherine nodded, �Warrick and Sara have been waiting with me, Nick went to get Lindsey, so they�re all out there now. She wanted to make sure we were both ok.�

Gil nodded and grabbed hold of Catherine�s hand. �We didn�t get to finish our conversation.�

�No we didn�t, the cavalry arrived.� She looked down at their joined hands before looking back up at him. �I don�t want to risk loosing you again Gil.�

�You won�t Cath, I�m not ready to go anywhere just yet.� He leaned back into the pillows and yawned.

�You should get some sleep, the Doctors are probably going to make me leave soon anyway.� She leaned forward and kissed him for the first time in over a year, before drawing back and smiling at him. �You�re coming home with me tomorrow, right?�

�No where else I�d rather be.�

"I'm gonna hold somebody,
I'm gonna look, In someone's eyes,
Till I'm so overcome that I cry."
Not Gonna Do Anything Without You - Jamie O�Neal and Mark Wills

***

One Night In Las Vegas - 2024

Catherine grinned as she watched her husband of just over a year, playing with her daughter.

It hadn�t been an easy year but she was still positive that they had made the right decision in getting married. She had never been happier and she only had to watch him in moments like this to know it was right.

Sighing, she stood up from the bench and wandered over towards her family, laughing as Gil pushed Lindsey on a swing, something she was capable of doing by herself, but she knew they both enjoyed it.

�Hey!� She leaned over and grabbed the swing, bringing her daughter to a halt. �We need to get going if we�re going to get you to the party on time.�

Not arguing, Lindsey jumped off the swing and started running towards the car, leaving a somewhat perplexed Gil in her wake. Taking pity on him, Catherine answered his unspoken question. �Andrew is going to be there.�

His mouth formed an �oh� shape and he smiled, before grabbing his wife around the waist and pulled her to him, kissing her softly. �Gil, not that I don�t enjoy this, but public place, wait till we get home.�

Gil settled for holding on to her hand as they followed Lindsey. �Well, I like being able to kiss you without it mattering who sees.�

Catherine shook her head and smiled back at him, they were still very much in the honeymoon stage, even after a year and she got the feeling it was painfully obvious.

Climbing into the drivers seat of the car, Catherine glanced back, making sure her daughter was wearing a seatbelt and carefully pulled out of the parking space, before turning the car in the direction of home.

She half listened to the discussion Lindsey and Gil were having about bugs, but mostly she listened to the radio. She titled her face slightly till she could feel the breeze coming through the air conditioning and smiled.

They had been through so much, for so long and she couldn�t help but feel like in the last year they had finally come home.

~When you're hold me like you're holdin� me,
And I kiss your tired face,
I know we took the long way here but wound up in a better place."
One Night In Las Vegas - Chely Wright and Brad Paisley

THE END

Soundtrack:
What If I Said? - Steve Wonder and Anita Cochrane
While I Was Waiting - Chely Wright
Forgive - Rebecca Lynn Howard
Your Faith In Me - Jessica Simpson
Believe It Or Not - Rebecca Lynn Howard
Rainbow - Mariah Carey
I Wanna Know - Joe
Falling Apart - Clare McIntosh
The Distance - Evan And Jaron
Just About Now - Faith Hill
This Woman Needs - She Daisy
I Can't Breakdown - Sinead Quinn
There You Are - Martina McBride
Don't Let Go - David Sneddon
Grown Men Don't Cry - Tim McGraw
My Best Friend - Tim McGraw
Talk About Us - Jennifer Lopez
Stop Living The Lie - David Sneddon
Not Gonna Do Anything Without You - Jamie O'Neal & Mark Wills
One Night In Las Vegas - Chely Wright & Brad Paisley